Either "Exclusive" or not? Is there any in-between?


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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #1  April 30,2010, 7:48am
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Curious...

Can you date someone "exclusively," not actively searching... but still be open to dating someone else if the right person came along?

Or, does that go against the entire principle behind being "exclusive?"
 
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dogwood is offline dogwood Post #2  April 30,2010, 8:01am
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seems like every situation will be unique but if you want to feel like you are being fair, do unto others as you would like done to you. would you like your potential partners to let you know if they were talking to more than you? and if you really want to be fair.....don't try to justify any action that would hurt you if the tables were turned. putting yourself in other people's shoes is a powerful, effective tool to keep yourself on the right track. i want to BE every bit as good a match as i want to find for myself.
 
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hankscorpio is offline hankscorpio Post #3  April 30,2010, 8:06am

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jussmile wrote :
Curious...

Can you date someone "exclusively," not actively searching... but still be open to dating someone else if the right person came along?

Or, does that go against the entire principle behind being "exclusive?"
Every woman I've ever known, no matter how "committed" and "exclusive" the relationship they were in, was ultimately still "open" to switching to a new partner if the upgrade was significant. (especially in regards to money)

What does this all mean? Basically I don't believe in exclusivity by women. Just them being there for as long as they're there.

So call yourself exclusive if you like. I'm sure the guy understands you just mean exclusive until someone better comes along. That's perfectly normal from my experience.
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superbeetle is offline superbeetle Post #4  April 30,2010, 8:12am
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hankscorpio wrote :
Every woman I've ever known, no matter how "committed" and "exclusive" the relationship they were in, was ultimately still "open" to switching to a new partner if the upgrade was significant. (especially in regards to money)

What does this all mean? Basically I don't believe in exclusivity by women. Just them being there for as long as they're there.

So call yourself exclusive if you like. I'm sure the guy understands you just mean exclusive until someone better comes along. That's perfectly normal from my experience.
Ah here we go again. Yes, you've been hurt, so obviously every woman on earth (all 3+ billion of them) are loathsome and vile. (we need an eyeroll icon to insert here!)

You're on a dating site why????
 
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superbeetle is offline superbeetle Post #5  April 30,2010, 8:15am
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And to answer the OP, no, if you're still looking for other people, there is no point in calling your relationship exclusive. It isn't honest or respectful of the person you're dating.
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #6  April 30,2010, 8:18am
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Is there a difference between actively "looking" and not looking but being ... "open" if something happened by?
 
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ThePriestess is online now ThePriestess Post #7  April 30,2010, 8:20am
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jussmile wrote :
Can you date someone "exclusively," not actively searching... but still be open to dating someone else if the right person came along?
Eager to cash in the card, eh? :P
 
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Rnnrgirl is offline Rnnrgirl Post #8  April 30,2010, 8:21am
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For me, there is no in between. Of course after a really good first date I may not be interested in dating anyone else because my attention is focused on one particular gentleman, but I am obviously not in a committed exclusive relationship yet. I may not be seeing anyone else in reality, but I am seeing other people "In theory". That is one reason I actually love facebook...You can advertise that you are "single" (which implies that you are still on the market) until you're not single anymore and then you're "In a relationship"" and I feel it takes a whole lot of ambiguity out of the picture, and keeps you from thinking that you are in a relationship when you are not.
 
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serrith is offline serrith Post #9  April 30,2010, 8:40am
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jussmile wrote :
Curious...

Can you date someone "exclusively," not actively searching... but still be open to dating someone else if the right person came along?

Or, does that go against the entire principle behind being "exclusive?"
You are either exclusive or you are not. Being open to finding someone else means you are still looking even if you are not actively seeking someone out.
In the analogy of sight:
You are not a blind man if you can see. Blurs or no, you still have some form of sight and thus are not really blind.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #10  April 30,2010, 8:52am
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"Exclusive" to me is different from "committed". Exclusive means while I'm dating one man, I will not be going out with others. However if someone comes along that seems more promising to me, I'd break off the exclusive relationship to go date the other guy.

Committed, on the other hand, means "this is it", he11 or high water, sickness/health, richer/poorer etc ... I'm in it.

Either way, just 1 guy at a time. But if exclusive, will break it off for someone else. Committed, will not break it off.
 
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