He's not over his ex should I move on?


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lillybug is offline lillybug Post #1  April 29,2010, 5:03pm
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i don't want to be friends

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So I met this guy that I am the most compatible with of any guy I have ever dated. I really thought things were going well. We went out for both our birthdays and met each other's friends and I thought he was really into me and so did my friends and his. Then he tells me that he's not over his ex who he was with for 10 months and they have been split up for about 4 months. He told me I'm amazing, but he's just not over her. I still really like this guy. What should I do? Move on and let him get over his issues or should I wait on him? Because like I said we are almost 100% compatabile and I could see us being forever if he was in the right place. Please help!
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  April 29,2010, 5:13pm
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Unfortunately I just leafed through the book "He's Just Not That Into You". Its premise is that men are simple creatures who will happily do anything to get a woman they really want. And when they say things like "I'm not over my ex" it's a kind way of letting you down.

I'm not sure I completely buy this book but it does make some sense.

In any case ... it's best to believe men when they tell you something you don't want to hear. Best for you? Go meet other men.

Sorry!
 
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NYCpigeon is offline NYCpigeon Post #3  April 29,2010, 6:06pm
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There are oceans of feelings between us

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He's not over his ex means he does not feel the same way as you. The sooner you accept this, the quicker you will be to heal. A tough one for sure.

Best of luck.
 
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singinggirl is online now singinggirl Post #4  April 29,2010, 6:55pm
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Jumping back in the pool.

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He told you where he is. Believe him.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #5  April 29,2010, 7:58pm
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Yay! spring has sprung.

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Agree with all of the above which makes you two not so 100% compatible after all.
Sorry. It sucks, I know but you'll make it.
 
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gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #6  April 29,2010, 9:08pm
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is thinking about someone special

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Wish him well and get on with your own life, if he gets back in touch in the future then all well and good, if he doesn't then you haven't wasted your time pining.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  April 30,2010, 10:21am
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I agree with the others. No need to burn any bridges but you should not wait around while he gets his mind straightened out.
 
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bekka74 is offline bekka74 Post #8  April 30,2010, 11:51am
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my best friend isnt over his ex and like you, we too are compatable. i wrote here asking for advice and most people said the same to me. but honestly nomatter what he says, we are still friends. we may never be together dating but we still hang out and are there for eachother. i won't leave him just because he doesnt want to date me. make the friendship work. in the end i really want him happy and vice versa, so our friendship is still something great that i tresure
 
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NiLa is offline NiLa Post #9  May 2,2010, 4:50am
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He's not into you. He's into HER (his ex). Move on! You're worth more.
 
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beatlejuice72 is offline beatlejuice72 Post #10  May 2,2010, 8:06am

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lillybug wrote :
So I met this guy that I am the most compatible with of any guy I have ever dated. I really thought things were going well. We went out for both our birthdays and met each other's friends and I thought he was really into me and so did my friends and his. Then he tells me that he's not over his ex who he was with for 10 months and they have been split up for about 4 months. He told me I'm amazing, but he's just not over her. I still really like this guy. What should I do? Move on and let him get over his issues or should I wait on him? Because like I said we are almost 100% compatabile and I could see us being forever if he was in the right place. Please help!
This is sad. I would continue to be friends with him, but if he's still not over her then now is not the time for you two. Who knows? It could still happen down the road. But for now I would continue the friendship with him and continue to get to know him. The best relationships usually begin with friendship. I would keep my options open with other men, but if/when this guy finally gets over the ex and opens up his heart to you, I would do it if/when you are available.
 
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