can I ask out my massage therapist?


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sillyramone is offline sillyramone Post #1  April 29,2010, 8:27am
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I have been thinking about this a lot and would like to get some insight about it.

A few months ago I visited an upscale day spa in town to get a massage. As luck would have it my massage therapist was an attractive, nice young man around my age.

This week I went back to the same place, had my appointment with the same guy, and had a wonderful time again. He remembered me from last time, and made conversation with me before and after the treatment. Even though I know people with these kinds of jobs are supposed to be nice and friendly to you, I honestly get the feeling when we talk that there is a connection there. Still, I fear that I may just be kidding myself.

The biggest issue with all of this is that I feel that I can not flirt with this person. Not only is flirting hard for me anyways, saying anything to your massage therapist that could be considered suggestive is totally not allowed. If it happens during the treatment, they'll just stop everything and ask you to leave. I really don't think I would say anything that would make that happen, but just because that rule exists I feel like I need to be on my best professional behavior at all times!

So to make my point, I haven't dated at all in several months. I would really like to date this guy, but feel like he's off limits somehow. Am I right? What should I do?
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #2  April 29,2010, 8:33am
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I think this would be inappropriate. It is his job, and there are probably policies in place about dating customers.

It's understandable that you would like to date someone you feel attracted to, but you really haven't run into him anywhere outside of this professional environment. His friendliness and remembering your name is good customer service.

Consider that there is also some research that shows that levels of oxytocin rise in a person during massage. This is the hormone that helps us to bond with others (a mate, newborn baby). It is possible that your attraction for him is a little bit stronger because of this, so it really is one-sided.

I think you should try to find someone to date elsewhere.
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #3  April 29,2010, 8:33am

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No no no no no no! I have a friend that is a massage therapist you will not gain a boyfriend but lose a massage therapist.
 
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readytodate is offline readytodate Post #4  April 29,2010, 8:38am
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I wouldn't do it!

shoot, I've been attracted to my FEMALE massage therapist at times during a really fabulous masssage. and I am totally straight. you really have to watch out for those hormones produced by a great massage. (and not dating for several months before having one!)

remember, even george costanza said "it moved" after his massage with an especially attractive male masseuse on Seinfeld. happens to the best of us.
 
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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #5  April 29,2010, 8:42am
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Don't date your massage therapist! Good ones are worth their weight in gold.

Plus, you'll never wind up getting a massage at home!
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #6  April 29,2010, 8:53am
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No.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #7  April 29,2010, 8:56am

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Heck, I'll give you a massage for free!
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  April 29,2010, 9:03am
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Don't do it.

It is never a good idea to date anyone that you have a business relationship with.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  April 29,2010, 9:04am
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PY_2 wrote :
Heck, I'll give you a massage for free!
You would also accept a date, correct?
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #10  April 29,2010, 9:28am

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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
You would also accept a date, correct?
Depends...
 
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