GREAT FIRST DATE..then


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leighms is offline leighms Post #1  April 29,2010, 6:58am
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Went on a 10 hour date, first date, all I can say is WOW, had amazing time, good conversation, even talked about having the "rescue" phone call or text... Talked in my car for hours. Finally home, got the "I'm home" phone call at 3:30am...next day both texted about how good of time we had. I was totally EXCITED about the next date, also his birthday. Both of us were called out of town, I texted a happy birthday message, still letting him know, I AM INTERESTED...but nothing has come from it. I haven't heard from him. I am so bummed simply because I know there is some connection, but not gonna push. I don't wanna look like some stalker chick...I am just disappointed. He is a fantastic guy. Just made my insecurities ping recently. Next date is gonna have a high standard...
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  April 29,2010, 7:09am
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How long has it been? If it's just a day or 2 ... give him time. More than 3 or 4 days? ... put him on a backburner; he might call again soon, maybe not.

Sorry! Disappointing when that happens!
 
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leighms is offline leighms Post #3  April 29,2010, 7:12am
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Been several days...sucks!
 
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brixjnz is offline brixjnz Post #4  April 29,2010, 7:25am
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Leigh, let me share something I've learned the hard way. Text as little as possible. I know it's more convenient and we're so used to doing it now, as a culture. But picking up the phone and leaving a voicemail or even actually talking to the guy is a much more surefire method of making contact and getting a response. Text messaging has led me to much disappointment and hours (and days) of endless (and unnecessary) waiting for a response.

Pick up the phone and give him a call. Don't take a non-response to a text message as a rejection. And don't mention the text when you talk to him. Just give him a call and tell him you wanted to say hello and see how his week is going. This is the best advice one of my guy friends has given me and so far it's working out great.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #5  April 29,2010, 7:48am
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I am going to side with brizjnz on this -- pick up your phone and call him and than you will find out what the deal is.

Good luck! Sounds like a great first date!
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #6  April 29,2010, 7:49am
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brixjnz wrote :
Leigh, let me share something I've learned the hard way. Text as little as possible. I know it's more convenient and we're so used to doing it now, as a culture. But picking up the phone and leaving a voicemail or even actually talking to the guy is a much more surefire method of making contact and getting a response. Text messaging has led me to much disappointment and hours (and days) of endless (and unnecessary) waiting for a response.

Pick up the phone and give him a call. Don't take a non-response to a text message as a rejection. And don't mention the text when you talk to him. Just give him a call and tell him you wanted to say hello and see how his week is going. This is the best advice one of my guy friends has given me and so far it's working out great.
Yep, this.^

And better yet, when you call him have a couple ideas in mind for something to do and ask if he's interested.

Then you'll have your answer(s).
 
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readytodate is offline readytodate Post #7  April 29,2010, 8:05am
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yeah, texts are not a good way of reaching someone. first, you don't know if they got it and, second, it's easy to forget to respond if you don't have time to text back that second.

I'm not big into chasing men, but I do think one call is warranted, since it will tell you if he is still interested. Unfortunately, I think he probably isn't. Men have a way of reaching those women they want to talk to. I keep rewatching, "He's Just Not That Into You" whenever I need to be reminded of how men behave and why they do what they do!

good luck!
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  April 29,2010, 9:17am
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leighms wrote :
Went on a 10 hour date, first date, all I can say is WOW, had amazing time, good conversation, even talked about having the "rescue" phone call or text... Talked in my car for hours. Finally home, got the "I'm home" phone call at 3:30am...next day both texted about how good of time we had. I was totally EXCITED about the next date, also his birthday. Both of us were called out of town, I texted a happy birthday message, still letting him know, I AM INTERESTED...but nothing has come from it. I haven't heard from him. I am so bummed simply because I know there is some connection, but not gonna push. I don't wanna look like some stalker chick...I am just disappointed. He is a fantastic guy. Just made my insecurities ping recently. Next date is gonna have a high standard...
This is standard procedure in dating.

YOU know there is some connection. It takes two to tango, HE did not feel the same connection that you did.
 
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brixjnz is offline brixjnz Post #9  April 29,2010, 10:13am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
This is standard procedure in dating.

YOU know there is some connection. It takes two to tango, HE did not feel the same connection that you did.
That's not necessarily true. There could be all kinds of reasons she hasn't heard from him. We tend to assume that the other person should be so focused on getting to know us that the things that can occur in day to day life should not preclude them from responding to us immediately. But that's just not realistic. What if his house was blown apart by a tornado? What if he got sent out of town for work, unexpectedly? Any last minute change in routine could impact his ability to get back with her right away. For her to assume he's not into her is premature. We have to learn to give people more of a chance instead of jumping directly to doom.
 
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TXButtercup is offline TXButtercup Post #10  April 30,2010, 7:14pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
This is standard procedure in dating.

YOU know there is some connection. It takes two to tango, HE did not feel the same connection that you did.

So maybe it isn't the same connection....

but I gotta wonder.....why spend 10 hours with someone if you aren't interested?
Last edited by TXButtercup; April 30,2010 at 7:15pm. Reason: 'cause if I'm not interested, I'm pretty sure I can find a natural spot to end the date well before that timeframe
 
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