thrashee is offline thrashee Post #1  April 28,2010, 11:51am
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Hi all,

Quick question mainly for the guys here. Have you ever been turned OFF by a match who was excessively flirty in email communications and/or who continued to be excessively flirty while on a date?

I've been on two dates now with a gal who, literally from the first open communication to dozens more later, would include suggestive comments in the messages. It's not that these were really dirty or vulgar, or that I don't appreciate a bit of playfulness, but frankly my gut reaction after repeated instances was to be turned off by it. As ridiculous as this may sound, it just made the flirting seem cheap.

Anyone else experience this? I'm 50/50 torn on whether my instinct is waving a red flag at me or whether I'm being entirely too serious about it.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #2  April 28,2010, 11:59am
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If they werent really dirty or vulgar.....but suggestive.....what sort of responses did you show here. If you returned with a suggestiv3e comment back then that was feeding the flame and she thought you liked that.

Have you told her?

How sure are you that these arent just her being her vs someone you havenbt usually dated?
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #3  April 28,2010, 12:32pm
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This may just be her way of being flirty. Depending on how the communications are sent (text vs. e-mail) you may just be dealing with misunderstanding her way of doing things.

In text it is so much harder to show a wink or smile or something that expresses a joking manner.

If you are really put off by it why not tell her. No better way to find out the truth than to communicate.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #4  April 28,2010, 12:37pm
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thrashee wrote :
Hi all,

Quick question mainly for the guys here. Have you ever been turned OFF by a match who was excessively flirty in email communications and/or who continued to be excessively flirty while on a date?

I've been on two dates now with a gal who, literally from the first open communication to dozens more later, would include suggestive comments in the messages. It's not that these were really dirty or vulgar, or that I don't appreciate a bit of playfulness, but frankly my gut reaction after repeated instances was to be turned off by it. As ridiculous as this may sound, it just made the flirting seem cheap.

Anyone else experience this? I'm 50/50 torn on whether my instinct is waving a red flag at me or whether I'm being entirely too serious about it.
is she hot??

j/k..
look, it's what you find uncomfortable...if it bothers you, it bothers you.
And unless you were to give us a better example of what she said.. it's purely speculation as to what's flirty and whats vulgar, I think.
Last edited by TheThinker; April 28,2010 at 12:39pm.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #5  April 28,2010, 1:37pm
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thrashee wrote :
Hi all,

Quick question mainly for the guys here. Have you ever been turned OFF by a match who was excessively flirty in email communications and/or who continued to be excessively flirty while on a date?
No. In my experience, not many women act that way, and I can't remember ever hearing another guy complain about this.

I'm curious what counts as "excessively flirty".
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #6  April 28,2010, 1:42pm
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This hasn't happened to me, though I have had to tell women not to send anything "suggestive" on my office e-mail.

If you don't like it, I would suggest just not laughing, or let her know you're uncomfortable.

This seems to me like a very small thing to worry over - at least, not if she adapts or you get more comfortable with expereince.
 
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ThePriestess is online now ThePriestess Post #7  April 28,2010, 1:50pm
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Uh ...
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  April 28,2010, 4:45pm
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I have never had this situation.

While as some of the others have said that you should talk to her about this. However, it would seem that if you have different styles of communication then this is really an incompatibility issue. I would not consider it a red flag unless she is flirting with other guys while on a date with you.
 
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