how long to wait before sharing identity? how long before first meeting?


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readytodate is offline readytodate Post #1  April 28,2010, 8:52am
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I'm curious how long is 'normal' to wait before sharing personally identifying information with someone on eHarmony.

also, how long is typical before meeting someone for the first time? how long do you usually correspond before moving to the phone call, then in person meetings?

I know this is all highly individual based on each experience, but I'm curious what the average is.

thanks!
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #2  April 28,2010, 8:57am
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It's when YOU feel comfortable...not when someone says you should.
Some matches may want an email off of EH, or a phone call, some others may not.
Some may jump right into fast track..it depends on what your comfort level is. Go with your gut.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #3  April 28,2010, 9:24am

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It's interesting actually the women that made it to a date with me (and survived) were pretty open about their personal info, even work info, etc.

(no I don't stalk them or send them invoices for meals paid even that it didn't work out!)
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #4  April 28,2010, 9:38am
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A week of emails / chatting than phone and than a first date works well for me.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  April 28,2010, 10:12am
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readytodate wrote :
I'm curious how long is 'normal' to wait before sharing personally identifying information with someone on eHarmony.
I don't ask for personal identification before having met. I also prefer to not give that information out prior to meeting.

 also, how long is typical before meeting someone for the first time? how long do you usually correspond before moving to the phone call, then in person meetings?
I prefer to set up a meeting sooner than later. I will usually suggest meeting around the time of having exchanged about half dozen e-mails which should be within the first week after getting to Open Communication. I prefer to not talk on the phone prior to meeting, my experience is that things go better this way. I do provide my cell phone number after we have decided to meet so that she will be able to contact me should there be a problem at the last minute. I expect her to provide her cell phone number at the same time.

 I know this is all highly individual based on each experience, but I'm curious what the average is.
You are correct that this is very individual and dependent on the people and also the situation. Certainly the greater the distance the more difficult it may be to arrange to meet right away.

 thanks!
Above.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  April 28,2010, 10:14am
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PY_2 wrote :
It's interesting actually the women that made it to a date with me (and survived) were pretty open about their personal info, even work info, etc.

(no I don't stalk them or send them invoices for meals paid even that it didn't work out!)
You are missing out on an opportunity to increase your income and reduce your dating costs. Though I am not sure how you would handle the tax issues here
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #7  April 28,2010, 10:25am
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my answer is that i will disclose things as i get to know the person and verify that they are to be trusted with my personal information. anything prior to and during a first meeting is minimal. its not likely that i will reveal anything very personal within at least the first few months, if i even date someone for that long (very rare)

an email or two before the first call, and i like to meet within 2 weeks (max) of the first call.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #8  April 28,2010, 12:04pm
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Are you talking saliva? a phone number ??or their SS #?

With meeting online...after you get to open communication and its pretty regular back and forth you should plan on meeting face to face within 2 weeks. Usually that is done by exchanging phone numbers and talking a bit and then set up a simple first meeting for coffee, lunch, or something else.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #9  April 28,2010, 2:32pm
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readytodate wrote :
I'm curious how long is 'normal' to wait before sharing personally identifying information with someone on eHarmony.

Historically, I used my office e-mail about as soon as reaching OC, so my matches new my name then. Today I have a Yahoo e-mail, so it doesn't have to come up unless she askes (I have had one recent woman ask.)

I do not ask for any type of personal information (though I might if the meeting was a long distance, something I don't do.) I'd rather just meet quickly.


readytodate wrote :
also, how long is typical before meeting someone for the first time? how long do you usually correspond before moving to the phone call, then in person meetings?

I have met from Match literally one hour after getting her first e-mail. eHarmony, anywhere from two days to two weeks, with one week being typical (really, the first Friday or Saturday after getting matched, since I only meet those evenings.)

I generally prefer not to speak on the phone at all, as I will usually lose interest in women who like phone calls.
 
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honeybee81 is offline honeybee81 Post #10  April 28,2010, 4:26pm
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readytodate wrote :
I'm curious how long is 'normal' to wait before sharing personally identifying information with someone on eHarmony.

also, how long is typical before meeting someone for the first time? how long do you usually correspond before moving to the phone call, then in person meetings?

I know this is all highly individual based on each experience, but I'm curious what the average is.

thanks!
I am currently stuck in the first stage of communication with all my matches and have been for two months. But this has been my experience with the matches that do communicate.
I usually ask for the guy’s email address after the third or fourth message on eh. (If he has not given it to me by that point.) I am usually the first to email. I give him my cell numberwith the best times to reach me in the third or fourth email. I prefer if the guy makes the first call but there is nothing wrong with the women making the first call. During the telephone conversation we agree on a time and place mutually.
I have to depend on the response time of the match. The fastest time between the first communication to meet up has been two weeks and that is my ideal timing.
 
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