Sending flowers to work. Good or bad?


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stylebook is offline stylebook Post #1  April 28,2010, 2:36am
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I've never been comfortable buying flowers for a woman before. People say to bring them on dates (maybe not the first date) but in my head I guess I'm too practical and think "what the heck is she going to do with the flowers all night? Don't they need to get into some water?"

But I've gone on some dates with someone I met through eHarmony (5 dates to be exact) and I've had a tremendous time on each date. We recently went out and I thought about bringing her flowers, but for whatever reason I decided against it.

She's had some really amazing things happen to her recently and so I thought this would be a good reason for me to send flowers - to congratulate her and ... well, just because.

In all my years I've never sent flowers to a woman at work, so I guess I'm asking what the women here think of getting flowers at work. I suppose my question is kind of moot since I've already gone and ordered them to be sent (hopefully) today.

So, is this an ok thing to do after only 5 dates?
 
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Tipitina is offline Tipitina Post #2  April 28,2010, 3:59am
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It's a really sweet thing to do, as long as you don't go overboard and send a huge arrangement. (Based on what you've said about your practical mindset, it doesn't sound as if you have.) In the situation you're describing, I'd be both touched by your thoughtfulness and impressed that you're also happy about the good things that have happened recently.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #3  April 28,2010, 5:47am
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I wouldnt want them coming to my work. I would rather they be sent to my home on a saturday or given to me in person.

who knows what her reaction will be though, and thats the reaction that counts!
 
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username_already_exists is offline username_already_exists Post #4  April 28,2010, 5:52am
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I agree with N. (shocking. I know.)

send them to her house, or hand deliver.
 
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iamgermajesty is offline iamgermajesty Post #5  April 28,2010, 5:56am
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I'd say it depends on where she works and how close she is with her coworkers.

If she works at very stuffy, uptight office where she doesn't know many people, it might not be the best idea. Or if she works at McDonalds...don't want petals in the deep fryer.

But I would not be opposed to having flowers delivered to my place of work!
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #6  April 28,2010, 6:01am
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Tipitina wrote :
It's a really sweet thing to do, as long as you don't go overboard and send a huge arrangement. (Based on what you've said about your practical mindset, it doesn't sound as if you have.) In the situation you're describing, I'd be both touched by your thoughtfulness and impressed that you're also happy about the good things that have happened recently.
I agree.
 
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qp106sd is offline qp106sd Post #7  April 28,2010, 6:05am
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I would think the only thing to know is if the people at her office know of you. If they know, then yes, if they don't, then no. It would be awkward to get flowers from someone you have to "explain".

If I went out on 5 dates and it was going good, I'm sure the majority of my office would know about it.
 
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StuckOnYou is offline StuckOnYou Post #8  April 28,2010, 6:20am
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IMO, flowers at work are not appropriate unless you are in an established LTR. Many people, myself included, prefer to keep their personal and professional lives separate.
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #9  April 28,2010, 6:49am
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StuckOnYou wrote :
IMO, flowers at work are not appropriate unless you are in an established LTR. Many people, myself included, prefer to keep their personal and professional lives separate.
I agree totally with this. It's nobody's business at work if I am dating someone new, so flowers would be unwelcome at my workplace from someone I have just started to date. That would be an intrusion into my professional life. It's an entirely different matter if a boyfriend/spouse sends flowers for my birthday/anniversary.

Don't bring flowers on a date where she is forced to carry them around. The best option is to send them to her home once you have established enough of an interaction/relationship that you have been told by her where she is (do not find out on your own), or to give them to her when you pick her up at her place. Then she can leave them in the house instead of being stuck with them all night.

In the end, each of these boils down, IMO, to timing. Waiting until you have established enough of a relationship to do things above means that you won't be doing too much too soon -- then you can't go wrong. As with many things in dating, you shouldn't rush things along or you might be doing something faster than the other person is comfortable with.

Not sure why you're asking if you sent them already anyway -- 5 dates might be okay for her, but the workplace thing might not be. You'll find out soon enough so our opinions don't really matter in this case, but you can update us later.
Last edited by MelinCali; April 28,2010 at 11:30am.
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #10  April 28,2010, 6:54am
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stylebook wrote :
So, is this an ok thing to do after only 5 dates?
I should have added that her answer to this question is the only one that's going to count since you've already gone forward with this.

If I say it's not okay, but she's thrilled, then what does my opinion matter? You're not dating me.
 
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