When to stop looking (exclusiveness)


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serrith is offline serrith Post #1  April 28,2010, 12:03am
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I was curious what you think...
At what point in dating someone would you exclusively date one person?
Do you have a specific point? Or would you only date one person to begin with?
Please explain your rationale.

My personal standpoint is that open ended dating ends when you go beyond a friendship basis with a date. You might casually hug a friend, but not kiss/caress/embrace a friend.
My line of thinking for this goes something like this:
When you kiss someone, you are suggesting romantic interest and thus have a greater risk of emotional involvement from the person you kiss. If you are not willing to be exclusive with someone, you should not put them into a situation where they might become emotionally involved with you.
 
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ThePriestess is online now ThePriestess Post #2  April 28,2010, 12:37am
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serrith wrote :
Or would you only date one person to begin with?
Si.

serrith wrote :
Please explain your rationale.
Amative.
 
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username_already_exists is offline username_already_exists Post #3  April 28,2010, 7:42am
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I can only afford to buy meals for one at a time.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #4  April 28,2010, 8:16am
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Exclusive for me begins after the first date if I plan to continuing dating that one person I won't date others.
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #5  April 28,2010, 8:47am
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There are lots of different perspectives here... I am a multi-dater and usually date as many people as I am interested in up front for the first two dates. If three or more dates, then I only date up to 3 people during that period... the purpose of dating for me is to go exclusive with one person. During the 4,5,6,7,8,9, etc. dates, that helps me determine which of the 3 guys I want to be exclusive with, and also which want to be exclusive with me.

You should never assume a person is exclusive with you just because you are exclusively dating them. Once agreed that we will be exclusive, that is when I stop dating others.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #6  April 28,2010, 9:20am

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username_already_exists wrote :
I can only afford to buy meals for one at a time.
Daggumit I was going to write this!
Last edited by PY_2; April 28,2010 at 9:21am. Reason: Five stars for you though
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  April 28,2010, 10:36am
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Personally I think that you are mixing apples and oranges in your OP.

With respect to your title. I will quit looking at the point that I feel that my level of interest has gone to wanting to pursue a particular match to see if we are compatible for the long term. This may well (usually is) be before we both decide that we want to be exclusive with one another.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #8  April 28,2010, 10:41am
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serrith wrote :

My line of thinking for this goes something like this:
When you kiss someone, you are suggesting romantic interest and thus have a greater risk of emotional involvement from the person you kiss. If you are not willing to be exclusive with someone, you should not put them into a situation where they might become emotionally involved with you.
So, does that mean that you would not kiss someone on a date, if you didn't know they were "the one"??
 
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username_already_exists is offline username_already_exists Post #9  April 28,2010, 10:45am
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jussmile wrote :
I am a multi-dater and usually date as many people as I am interested in up front for the first two dates. If three or more dates, then I only date up to 3 people during that period... the purpose of dating for me is to go exclusive with one person. During the 4,5,6,7,8,9, etc. dates, that helps me determine which of the 3 guys I want to be exclusive with, and also which want to be exclusive with me.
this is a more workable (affordable) strategy for the meal-digger than it is for the diggee.

jussmile wrote :
... the purpose of dating for me is to go exclusive with one person.
finding one to go exclusive with is just one of the extra benefits of the free meals, trips, trinkettes, etc. sort of a bonus for the substantial time you've invested dating and shopping so you look pretty.
Last edited by username_already_exists; April 28,2010 at 10:46am. Reason: head cluttered with scenes from Pretty Woman. . . you call it dating, some call it . . .
 
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Tipitina is offline Tipitina Post #10  April 28,2010, 10:51am
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username_already_exists wrote :
this is a more workable (affordable) strategy for the meal-digger than it is for the diggee.



finding one to go exclusive with is just one of the extra benefits of the free meals, trips, trinkettes, etc. sort of a bonus for the substantial time you've invested dating and shopping so you look pretty.

You're assuming that the multi-dater isn't taking any financial responsibility for the dates. I might have missed something, but I didn't see that in the original post.
 
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