lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #1  April 27,2010, 7:32pm
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Many of the Dating threads I've seen raise the concern of not wanting to appear needy yet wanting to clearly express interest.

What about the other side of this: when should we back off, after someone has said they're not interested? After they've said "no."

My opinion is that a person should move on once a match states (by email, phone or in person) 'we're not a good match, good luck.' But there's a man I've spoken to but never met who continues to call and text me after I told him 'no.' Engaging in further discussion or justification could further serve to encourage him, right?

Has anyone else had experience with someone not taking 'no' for an answer? What do you think is the best strategy?
Last edited by lacedwithhope; April 27,2010 at 7:35pm.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #2  April 27,2010, 7:34pm
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uh oh. is mr "chemistry juices" still calling?
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #3  April 27,2010, 7:37pm
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Nanette wrote :
uh oh. is mr "chemistry juices" still calling?
No. He's moved on just fine. This new guy, I've never met...in fact, we had several emails but just one brief phone conversation...
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  April 27,2010, 7:40pm
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I've declined many women from Match. Some write back, questioning / debating my decline.

I do find this okay, if they have a reason which I would not have grasped ... for example, I might have declined a woman because she lived too far away - but she then writes that her job is close to mine.

Within reason, I consider negotiation of "no" appropriate.
 
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ThePriestess is online now ThePriestess Post #5  April 27,2010, 7:53pm
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I'll get back to this thread when someone says 'no'.
 
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szgorzelski is offline szgorzelski Post #6  April 27,2010, 7:54pm
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No means try harder.
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #7  April 27,2010, 8:00pm

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szgorzelski wrote :
No means try harder.
lol!

And I thought it was going to Chemistry Juice guy too. Glad to hear it wasn't.

Yeah, I am not a big fan of the "give me a chance" song and dance. It really just reinforces my decision of choosing to not see them.
Now, if they somehow do it very charmingly and funny somehow, then yeah, maybe. But otherwise, yeah no - close, next.
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #8  April 27,2010, 8:00pm
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So...yes he seems to be trying harder (texting, calling). But I'm not only not interested (and have told him so) but am starting to get the 'creepy' vibe.

I should just ignore him, right?

I would think this is common -- haven't others experienced this? I'm starting to worry that I attract guys with 'stalker' tendencies...
Last edited by lacedwithhope; April 27,2010 at 8:02pm. Reason: Lizzie, help! : )
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #9  April 27,2010, 8:04pm
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D_Lion wrote :
I've declined many women from Match. Some write back, questioning / debating my decline...Within reason, I consider negotiation of "no" appropriate.
Have they ever continued to call you?
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #10  April 27,2010, 8:07pm

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Me, I would call him back and be quite clear and concise and tell him to not contact you again...in any form.

This is one the time I would do the opposite of poofing. If the guy is overstepping boundaries then I would be real clear and quick, in telling him to not contact me ever again.

Don't give a reason, don't give an explanation, just state do not contact me again.

And then if he contacted me again, I would get freaked out. lol!
 
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