How much effort should be on my part??


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SillyLily84 is offline SillyLily84 Post #1  April 27,2010, 2:01pm
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So I met a guy on EH and we had our first date the first weekend of April. Things really clicked; we had dinner, drinks and good conversation. He initiated the first date and I suggested the other 2. Since then I feel like if I don't txt/email/call him first I wouldn't talk to him.Our conversations seem pretty normal and he doesn't sound uninterested. Is he really that shy or really that uninterested and just trying to be nice?
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #2  April 27,2010, 2:10pm
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You will NEVER find out by texting him.

Why do you people text in a dating situation?


Why do you text at * ALL * ??

The only valid is to exchange a short burst of hard Information. "running L8 CU @3" kind of stuff.


STOP texting !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #3  April 27,2010, 2:11pm
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Since he had no problem initiating the first date, he is not painfully shy and perfectly capable of organizing the date and asking you out. So if it feels that if you dropped contact, he would never bother talk to you again, go with your gut. Stop making all the effort and you'll have a quick answer to your question. Either he'll pick up the ball or fade out because he is just not that interested and does not have the courage to actually let you know that.
 
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Cape_Codder is offline Cape_Codder Post #4  April 27,2010, 2:24pm

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DancingFool wrote :
Since he had no problem initiating the first date, he is not painfully shy and perfectly capable of organizing the date and asking you out. So if it feels that if you dropped contact, he would never bother talk to you again, go with your gut. Stop making all the effort and you'll have a quick answer to your question. Either he'll pick up the ball or fade out because he is just not that interested and does not have the courage to actually let you know that.
I Agree. A simple yet effective solution.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #5  April 27,2010, 2:26pm
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SillyLily84 wrote :
So I met a guy on EH and we had our first date the first weekend of April. Things really clicked; we had dinner, drinks and good conversation. He initiated the first date and I suggested the other 2. Since then I feel like if I don't txt/email/call him first I wouldn't talk to him.Our conversations seem pretty normal and he doesn't sound uninterested.

Is he really that shy or really that uninterested and just trying to be nice?

I don't understand how your question pertains to any of the detail in your post?

Are you asking about his amount of calling between meetings? If so, and you want more, I think you should be initiating most of it, if it's something that is more important to you then to him.

(Personally I rarely spoke to a partner during the week, except briefly to arrange schedules. I save my communication for in-person.)
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  April 28,2010, 10:44am
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Let's go back to the title of your thread.

You are putting in the major amount of effort in this relationship. It should be an equal partnership. He is not holding up his end of the deal.

The best advice is that of DancingFool.
 
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greg75 is offline greg75 Post #7  April 28,2010, 11:24am
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DancingFool, you need to stop beating around the bush and get to the point...LOL!
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #8  April 28,2010, 1:53pm
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SillyLily84 wrote :
So I met a guy on EH and we had our first date the first weekend of April. Things really clicked; we had dinner, drinks and good conversation. He initiated the first date and I suggested the other 2. Since then I feel like if I don't txt/email/call him first I wouldn't talk to him.Our conversations seem pretty normal and he doesn't sound uninterested. Is he really that shy or really that uninterested and just trying to be nice?
It's hard to tell from the info you've provided.

It's likely that he wants less between-date contact than you do, which leads to you having to initiate that sort of thing. This is not necessarily a problem, just means you want different amounts of this contact, which is common.

Without knowing how and when you initiated the other dates, it's hard to comment on that. It could be that after the first one, he waited to see if you would initiate one, to see if you were really interested in him.

From the little bit you said, it sounds like he's a normal guy who doesn't need lots of talk between dates and you're a typical woman who wants him to chase you.

Are you having a good time together? If so, I wouldn't worry too much about this. Does it really matter who makes the phone calls?
 
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