Looking for Love and found true friendship instead....


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faith_2share is offline faith_2share Post #1  April 26,2010, 6:03pm
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I, like all eH members, joined eH in the attempt to find a true lasting relationship that would end with "and then they lived happily ever after". (I know all you male readers are probably rolling your eyes, but deep down you know that is what you were thinking too! We ladies know it's true! ) True "love" however, is the one thing that I have yet to find on eH. Rather, I have found several people who, for one reason or another were not matches which ended in matrimony or fairtale bliss, but blossomed into genuine friendships. For example one gentlemen and I were corresponding for awhile back and forth getting to know one another when we the Lord made it clear to both of us that He did not intend for us persue a romantic relationship. We had by that time grown as friends and have kept in touch for several years now. We even met...as friends! I am so grateful for these true friends who have offered support and lightened the journey of living the single life. I wonder if other readers have likewise found this to be true in their own eH adventure. Have you found a true friend while you were looking for your "happily ever after" match?? If so, please share!
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #2  April 26,2010, 6:07pm

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faith_2share wrote :
I, like all eH members, joined eH in the attempt to find a true lasting relationship that would end with "and then they lived happily ever after". (I know all you male readers are probably rolling your eyes, but deep down you know that is what you were thinking too! We ladies know it's true! ) True "love" however, is the one thing that I have yet to find on eH. Rather, I have found several people who, for one reason or another were not matches which ended in matrimony or fairtale bliss, but blossomed into genuine friendships. For example one gentlemen and I were corresponding for awhile back and forth getting to know one another when we the Lord made it clear to both of us that He did not intend for us persue a romantic relationship. We had by that time grown as friends and have kept in touch for several years now. We even met...as friends! I am so grateful for these true friends who have offered support and lightened the journey of living the single life. I wonder if other readers have likewise found this to be true in their own eH adventure. Have you found a true friend while you were looking for your "happily ever after" match?? If so, please share!
While my matches didn't evolve into friendships during my brief membership, I congratulate you for having a good attitude about this and sounds like even though the search for The 'One' continues, still you've gained more good friendships out of it and I think it's a very good thing!

Thank you for an uplifting story!
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #3  April 27,2010, 3:31am
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faith_2share wrote :
Have you found a true friend while you were looking for your "happily ever after" match?? If so, please share!
Back in 2006, I was contacted by a man on Match. We met up and went out a few times but decided that we would just stay friends. We've had some great times going out, traveling abroad, been there when the other needed a shoulder to cry on. He was there for me when my LTR ended and gave his male point of view which I appreciated. He found himself a partner, they got married and now have a baby and I was invited to both the wedding and christening. We are still great friends, stay in touch and meet up a couple of times a year.
 
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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #4  April 27,2010, 12:38pm
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Thank you Faith and Mokke for sharing your stories!

This is EXACTLY why I think that everyone should communicate with any matches whose profiles do not throw up red flags - even the ones who have no photo. I know that people "don't do online dating to make friends" and that some people even think they "have enough friends" but if you approach all of your matches as, at minimum, the opportunity for friendship, no only are you increasing opportunities for your success but in a way you're also taking the pressure off of both yourself and your match.

I remember when I met my ex boyfriend*, we actually met on Excite Personals and we emailed each other a bunch of times and then set up a dinner date. I thought to myself, "well, if nothing else I'll have a new friend in my neighborhood" and I believe that led to a really nice, stress-free first date...which led to a second date, which led to a GREAT relationship of over six years.

So please, reach out to more people, in friendship at first, and if you so I'm certain you'll have more success in connecting at people and you'll make some good friends as you move closer and closer to your special someone.

Best,
-Lori

*yes, we broke up because in the end we just weren't the right person for each other. But we did have a great six years together and he is one of my dearest friends!
 
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