Join eHarmony to "hook up?" Did I do that?!


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deegoesgreen is offline deegoesgreen Post #21  April 27,2010, 7:08am
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What a surprise, to find something I posted to be the marquee, so to speak, for a new topic. Cool.
I wasn't sure if you were poking fun at me, D-Lion, or whether I actually brought something up that's not been apparent around here till now.
Sure didn't mean to insult any eHarm people re the quality thing.
Personally, I view who joins what dating sites as a matter of their intent. POF folks don't seem to hide their intentions for short term, casual encounters.
My intent isn't to date for short term/casual hook ups. That's not a healthy option for me. Being aware there are short termers/casual seekers among eHarm members puts me on notice.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #22  April 27,2010, 8:24pm
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D_Lion wrote :
In my personal experience (of 10 - 15 years ago), I was seeking long relationships, but I was certainly not adverse to having a brief casual partner, should one make herself available and seemed safe.

Quality of people on eHarmony did seem slightly better than Match, but the user experience was considerably better, as well.

Willingness to take a short-term situation, when that is all that is available, ought not be confused with seeking a short-term situation only.
deegoesgreen wrote :
What a surprise, to find something I posted to be the marquee, so to speak, for a new topic. Cool.
I wasn't sure if you were poking fun at me, D-Lion, or whether I actually brought something up that's not been apparent around here till now.
Sure didn't mean to insult any eHarm people re the quality thing.
It's always better to let a person speak for themself, of course, especially when one is a Frog.....

.....but I wouldn't have thought there was any poking fun. I think he was simply expressing a different point of view.....one having more in common with him being male more than anything else, I think.

I also would be surprised to learn anybody took offense.....but I do know the ability to take offense is one thing you just never can tell, around here.

j8a
 
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TXButtercup is offline TXButtercup Post #23  April 27,2010, 8:47pm
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lacedwithhope wrote :
Some guys say their intent is an LTR when it's not. I've overheard at least one conversation from a highly intelligent guy who actually was NOT but who told me he was seeking a long-term relationship. He claimed to his friend that I was the quality of woman he wanted to date.

My point is that eH -- because it is marketed as more than a dating site -- may appeal to someone who thinks that claiming to want something long-term (when they really don't) will attract 'better' dates. I think this is common.
I understood it the first time

Some friends and I were just having a conversation over beverages about this topic tonight and how some folks have really honed their skills so as not to be so easily discovered for true intent.

I don't have any problem with people pursuing whatever type of relationship they want. I would just prefer they be upfront about it so they can better match with people who want the same thing.
 
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username_already_exists is offline username_already_exists Post #24  April 28,2010, 6:00am
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you gotta love the wrong ones, 'til the right one comes along.
 
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greg75 is offline greg75 Post #25  April 28,2010, 6:17am
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I'm definitely looking for a good quality first date.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #26  April 28,2010, 7:35am
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I suppose one of the reasons I was so interested in eHarmony and that it worked for me is that the idea of casual dating is foreign to me. If I am going to invest time, energy, and my emotions into dating I want to meet someone for a long term relationship. While for many casual dating is great and I encourage those who want to do it to have fun it isn't for me and I think most people on eHarmony are indeed looking for something more serious (why else would you be willing to spend that kind of money? You can get casual hook-ups at the local bar).
 
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