Is it Trust or Something Else at Play?


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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #1  April 25,2010, 2:48pm

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I found a couple comments interesting in the who pays thread. That it takes a few dates to figure out the guy they are seeing. More so that if they meet them in person they know they want to date them.

Is this due to that blanket online fear of misrepresenting who you really are? Like you are spending a few dates checking out his/her story before you let your feelings take over.

I never knew there was a different perception so I find this interesting. I would see the first meet the same as meeting and asking the other out so why does it take longer to hit that point with online dating?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  April 25,2010, 2:57pm
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Some people are probably slow learners?

Making the same mistake over and over again tends to confirm this.
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #3  April 25,2010, 3:03pm

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There is something different in meeting someone candidly out in life over meeting someone specifically to decide if you want to date someone romantically.

To me, edating feels artificial and I do not like it. Once I start dating again, I believe I will try some meet-up groups to just meet a guy as a guy before I want to meet him as a guy I need to decide if I want to date (and in a hurry too - clocks ticking).

It has nothing to do with fear. It just has to do with better odds for me finding someone I will like to date.
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #4  April 25,2010, 3:09pm

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So Lizzie is it more like okay he looks good on paper but there is just something not right when you meet him? So the extra time is to sort through that. I ask because there always seems to be a mind heart disconnect with any form of dating.
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #5  April 25,2010, 3:23pm

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No it is more...in real life I know I want to date you - in edating, I have no clue.
 
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Spider is offline Spider Post #6  April 25,2010, 3:34pm
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LizziePooh wrote :
There is something different in meeting someone candidly out in life over meeting someone specifically to decide if you want to date someone romantically.
Hmm. I'd be more likely to agree to a date with someone I'd been matched with (as on EH) than with a guy who had just chatted me up on first meeting. The EH guy would at least have some sort of information out there for me to look at (his profile), and there would have been a period of conversation through email. T'other guy, no information at all, plus I don't like being approached by strangers.

To date someone I meet in person, I preferred to have had some prior experience with them - knowing them beforehand, say from a class or a civic group, so I had some sort of sense of what they are like, their sense of humor, intelligence level, general attitude toward life, etc. I would have been taken aback, and mildly repulsed, to have someone I didn't know ask me out.

But I'm weird like that.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #7  April 25,2010, 3:41pm
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i know (from reading her posts) that lizzie develops chemistry over time and getting to know the guy, so it makes sense to me that edating wouldnt work as well for her. i understood her as liking to scope the guy out first in his environment to see what he is like and then make a move.

i never saw it as a trust thing, it just seems like an easy, non committal way to see if you find someone interesting enough to date without all of the other encumbrances associated with the online routine.
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #8  April 25,2010, 4:27pm

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So it seems there is no correlation between online dating and difference in time it takes to get to know an eDate. I wonder though if we could figure out the personality differences we could figure out who finds eDating a better form of dating. Alas I have homework.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #9  April 25,2010, 4:30pm
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You could just say the dog ate you homework and spend the time with your lover instead?
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #10  April 25,2010, 4:39pm

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D_Lion wrote :
You could just say the dog ate you homework and spend the time with your lover instead?
He is home. I am going with I think I will do my homework in bed and go from there. Then it gives the appearance I am not skiving off my homework he is just more appealing.
 
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