Is it Trust or Something Else at Play?


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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #21  April 25,2010, 5:53pm
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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Can_I_just_be_Jo wrote :
I found a couple comments interesting in the who pays thread. That it takes a few dates to figure out the guy they are seeing. More so that if they meet them in person they know they want to date them.

Is this due to that blanket online fear of misrepresenting who you really are? Like you are spending a few dates checking out his/her story before you let your feelings take over.

I never knew there was a different perception so I find this interesting. I would see the first meet the same as meeting and asking the other out so why does it take longer to hit that point with online dating?
"Few" has the implication of more than one so you have lost me at this point.

If I am meeting someone at a bar or club and deciding to date then and I do not know them previously then I probably already know a lot more about them meeting them through eHarmony. I would say that it probably comes down to a negative stigma surrounding online dating.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #22  April 25,2010, 5:56pm
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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username_already_exists wrote :
for me eDating opens a unique pool of potential partners - people I would not likely meet in my everyday life. for me that is the benefit.
...
IRL I know if there is visual attraction - and personal chemistry. on the first date, I determine if those elements are present and if I want to continue dating.
Yes!

I will do the same thing on the first date with a match from an online dating site. If I saw a girl IRL who I did not find attractive then I would never have approached her anyway.
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #23  April 25,2010, 6:27pm

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Nanette wrote :
i know (from reading her posts) that lizzie develops chemistry over time and getting to know the guy, so it makes sense to me that edating wouldnt work as well for her. i understood her as liking to scope the guy out first in his environment to see what he is like and then make a move.

i never saw it as a trust thing, it just seems like an easy, non committal way to see if you find someone interesting enough to date without all of the other encumbrances associated with the online routine.
Exactly!!!
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #24  April 25,2010, 6:45pm

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Nanette wrote :
i dont think lizzie does though. thats the thing. or at least part of it
True...yes and no, I decide I am attracted to someone and then it is instant. lol! The time needed for attraction varies, it can be quick and it can be long, but when it happens, it just snaps in place and I know I am really attracted to someone and then we go out. Well, that was how it used to work prior to edating. lol!
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #25  April 26,2010, 5:44am

blames self-help books

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Nanette wrote :
so have you attracted any men to your thread yet?
Yes but they don't seem to be making productive comments to add to the data. I don't think they are taking my research seriously. I wonder if they realize the future of eDating rests on this research.
 
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