Who Pays? Men, I have something to say to you.

I am beginning to wonder how bad it is out there for young, attractive, single, professional women. I wish we'd get input from additional posters who date that category.

You're right. We do get input from females. To me, it sounds better when a woman says she chooses to pay her way and enjoys sex, than when a man says he never pays for her and expects her to want sex.

That really shouldn't make any difference, so I'll try to get over it.

i'd be careful of that statement. i believe that i've seen posts by respected female members of this community who willingly split the check on the first date and yet are also open to first date sex.

that may not be your cup of tea. it certainly is not mine. but at least a few females posting here appear to find nothing wrong with it

Ah, I see. Resort to a personal attack when your logic fails. Feel better now?

I have dated men as young as 30 and they still follow traditional social norms where 'dating' is concerned.

...I did not mean my comments to come off as a personal attack... to you...

So we both date people who are compatible with us. Win-win. That doesn't mean people I date are of lower quality simply because you like to do things differently. I only date women who are attractive (to me, anyway), intelligent, kind, progressive, and usually highly educated (master's degree or higher). Nothing about them is "highly undesirable" or "desperate". (Yes, those are terms that most people will view as a personal attack.)

(though I am probably more traditional than progressive).

If this process works for you and the women w/ whom you go out, great... mutually beneficial arrangement! If you are advertising the desire for a relationship w/ the intention of getting no-strings sex (I can see where that would get expensive for a guy who traditionally dates w/ no expectation of getting beyond date two), you are no better than a woman dating for dinner.

Gee, ya think? This isn't about whether you meet my criteria, but okay.

I was simply trying to illustrate that you and I are not so demographically different.

You're continuing to be insulting. It's dating, or a relationship, not a "mutually beneficial arrangement". "Mutually beneficial arrangement" implies a business partnership, like the exchange of sex for money (or for meals, for that matter). It's the exact opposite of that. It's a relationship of equal partners who enjoy sex as part of their relationship and who pay for their own things, as modern grownups do. Most of my relationships have started this way, including the ones that have lasted for years. Most of my friends' relationships, including marriages, started this way. It's dating, just as your style is dating. Mine just isn't stuck in 1945.

Now, if you don't mind, I'm off to my girlfriend's place. We'll probably have sex tonight, just like we did on our second date over a year ago. She's paying for dinner. (I paid last time.) Have a good Saturday night.

Why are we having this debate? You're no longer 'dating.' You have moved beyond the initial dating phase of which I have been referring and now have a gf, at which point, all responsibilities are (or should be) shared.