First contact, first date?


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Bubbles12 is offline Bubbles12 Post #1  April 23,2010, 6:23pm
Bubbles12's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 22

See profile

If the women makes the initial contact first, does that have any bearing on who initiates the first date? What about the second?

eg. If the women makes the first contact should she be the one that sets up the first date?

Note: I'm referring to a situation on another dating site where neither one of us were 'pre-matched'.
 
  Reply With Quote
Nanette is offline Nanette Post #2  April 23,2010, 6:27pm
Nanette's Avatar

~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 7,451

See profile

considering you are fortunate that she even contacted you first, you should do it
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  April 23,2010, 6:34pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,670

See profile

It doesn't matter.

Both parties should share equally in all aspects of dating no matter what, which makes first message meaningless.

***

When I used Match, I rarely wrote women (too many rudely ignored my e-mails.)

When one wrote me, I let things from that point procede as in any other situation. I generally pushed for the first meeting, since I am quick to do so.

***

In this instance, if something about her communication or profile indicates that she is disinclined to share in meeting expense equitably, then I would cease contact at this point.

As you may have inferred, it is not acceptable manners to solicit favors.
 
  Reply With Quote
NYCpigeon is offline NYCpigeon Post #4  April 23,2010, 6:37pm
NYCpigeon's Avatar

There are oceans of feelings between us

Veteran

Joined: Oct 2009

Brooklyn, NY

Posts: 1,199

See profile

Bubbles12 wrote :
If the women makes the initial contact first, does that have any bearing on who initiates the first date? What about the second?

eg. If the women makes the first contact should she be the one that sets up the first date?

Note: I'm referring to a situation on another dating site where neither one of us were 'pre-matched'.
I wouldn't count on it.
 
  Reply With Quote
Nanette is offline Nanette Post #5  April 23,2010, 6:38pm
Nanette's Avatar

~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 7,451

See profile

never mind
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #6  April 23,2010, 6:39pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,670

See profile

Nanette wrote :
considering you are fortunate that she even contacted you first ...

Why?

Sitting and waiting to get things handed to you ensures you will never get more than someone gives you.

Out in the real world, people go after what they want, if they want their life to amount to anything.

Women are wise to write men on dating sites, as this increases the ratio of good men they are able to communicate with.
 
  Reply With Quote
Nanette is offline Nanette Post #7  April 23,2010, 6:43pm
Nanette's Avatar

~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 7,451

See profile

they might be great men, but it doesnt mean that he is going to be attracted to her. there are plenty of good men that are willing to initiate contact. i've said this so many times already, but there are guys that will "go along" if she initiates contact, and the woman interprets that as actual interest, when he may just be dating her because she is there, not because she wowed him enough to contact her. thats the main reason i suggest not to contact men first.
 
  Reply With Quote
Nanette is offline Nanette Post #8  April 23,2010, 6:46pm
Nanette's Avatar

~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 7,451

See profile

and i should also add that i believe that men know right away if they are attracted to someone
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #9  April 23,2010, 6:49pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,670

See profile

I take issue when you posts become one-sided, as this one is.

You make a lot of arguments, where if one changes out the genders, there is no reason for the man to bother with her.

***

In the case of first communication on searchable sites specifically, the women should be writing the men.

Since most women ignore most messages, men either leave those sites, spam all the women, or do what I did (sit and let the women write.)
 
  Reply With Quote
Nanette is offline Nanette Post #10  April 23,2010, 6:53pm
Nanette's Avatar

~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 7,451

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
You make a lot of arguments, where if one changes out the genders, there is no reason for the man to bother with her.
this just points out the fundamental difference that we have in viewing gender. just another thing that we have discussed before.

but the thing with men "knowing" right away? i believe this is more (far more) specific to men than it is to women.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Why buy the cow, if the milk is free? Or why buy the pig, if the sausage is free? | Dating | the army is ruining my love life »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Coupon on a first date: help me settle an office debate eHA_Admin_Lori Dating 594 May 2,2012 4:42pm
First Date un-jitters. I want the nervousness back! SteveVance Ask a Dating Expert 24 September 30,2010 10:22pm
I don't date Younger Guys... Why does age matter? jussmile Dating 79 September 7,2010 9:13am
Third Date Surgtech Dating 13 July 28,2010 11:25am
My Mother's Co-Worker-- Was It A Date?! happyhappa Dating 13 January 22,2010 1:04pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“but isnt' "comedy" subjective?” –  richey

Join the “I think I blew it...” discussion

“"So, at what point did you decide I was only going to be a one-date kind of guy?" Hi Carole, I am late to this thread. Thanks for such an interesting topic! My initial reaction was to think ... ” –  SearchingHoping

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“A little tough love... The lesson here: date married men at your own peril. The man was married when YOU began a relationship with him! You keep calling him divorced. Not when you were with him. Once ... ” –  emma_hazards

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“Thanks, DancingFool!!!!! I deleted all but 2 pics. I kept the 2 most recent pics. I will work on updating pics soon, hopefully this weekend. Thanks! Suzanne” –  SuzanneScorpio

Join the “Photo Review” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 6:41pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0