The chronicals of the shy late dater!!


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NiLa is offline NiLa Post #31  April 25,2010, 5:50am
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is living, learning, and loving life! And, laughing all the while!

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I loved reading this. Best of luck to you and 'your' lady!
 
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serrith is offline serrith Post #32  April 25,2010, 7:46pm
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UniqueUserName wrote :
Your post actually made me sign up for these boards, as it was enlightening and helpful to someone in quite the similar boat. early 20s, low dating experience, etc.

Curious as to where you met her and how you asked her out. I know you stated you weren't going to get into the fine details but any help would be appreciated.
I am happy to answer questions but I will not be able to detail anything specific that could be used to identify. I will say I met her online but not where. I asked her out by finding out something she was interested in and asking her if she wanted to go there with me. I made a terrible botch of it though lol.

Example of how I intended it to work : (and no mini golf was not the topic)
Me: "hey, do you like mini golf ?"
Her: " Yea I love mini golf."
Me: "well, I know a really cool mini golf place with a really cool theme. If you want, maybe I could meet you there sometime."

Example of how it came out:
Me: (long pause of silence as I franticly think of a question to ask)
Her: "so....." (insert cricket chirping here)
Me: Hey...um....(pause of silence)...do you like...mini golf?
Her: "not really. I used to play a bit but never was into it"
Me: "oh. ok..(long awkward pause)....so I was wondering if you wanna meet up some time..."
Her: "sure. maybe we can meet up in a week...where would you want to meet up?""
(discussion continues into meeting locations)

Yea...I wasn't exactly smooth about it lol.
 
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UniqueUserName is offline UniqueUserName Post #33  April 25,2010, 8:22pm
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Haha it always comes out differently than what you planned in your head.

The "details" were more than enough, wasn't sure if it was a physical interaction or an online one.

Best of luck to you, and hope to read more about your chronicles. Btw you spelled chronicles wrong
 
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serrith is offline serrith Post #34  April 25,2010, 8:25pm
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UniqueUserName wrote :
Haha it always comes out differently than what you planned in your head.

The "details" were more than enough, wasn't sure if it was a physical interaction or an online one.

Best of luck to you, and hope to read more about your chronicles. Btw you spelled chronicles wrong
Or maybe...just maybe I spelled it that way intentionally as a stroke of creative genius to get peoples attention!





.....(looks around to see if anyone is convinced)




.................ya I spelled it wrong.
 
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serrith is offline serrith Post #35  April 26,2010, 11:45pm
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I actually have a question that has been bugging me recently...

As I stated before, I really like the woman I am dating and wish to respect her. I suppose I am worried that this thread may fall into the "kiss and tell" catagory (not that I have kissed her yet)..
From a female perspective, would you find this thread offensive if someone you were dating posted it?

My intentions were good - I wanted to help shy people like me...but I don't think I would want to continue if it would be found offensive.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #36  April 27,2010, 10:07am
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serrith wrote :
While I was so busy worrying about her not thinking I was a good date it never occurred to me that she might be worried too.
We have another date planned now and this time I intend to concentrate less on how I feel and more on how she feels.

Moral of the story: Don't worry. The only person harshly judging you during your date is YOU.
I don't know how many times I have said this very thing to someone who has posted here about their worries on a date.

This is the only dating rule I follow. Focus on the other person and making them feel comfortable and at ease, and don't worry so much about yourself and how you're coming across while on the date itself. Just try to be yourself, so that it can become clear whether there is a good fit or not.

Later, if the date didn't go so well as you'd hoped, you can review what occurred and be honest with yourself about whether you made some mistakes, but to do so while on the date is just an unnecessary distraction and makes you much less effective at setting the other person at ease.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #37  April 27,2010, 10:08am
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serrith wrote :
I actually have a question that has been bugging me recently...

As I stated before, I really like the woman I am dating and wish to respect her. I suppose I am worried that this thread may fall into the "kiss and tell" catagory (not that I have kissed her yet)..
From a female perspective, would you find this thread offensive if someone you were dating posted it?

My intentions were good - I wanted to help shy people like me...but I don't think I would want to continue if it would be found offensive.
I think she would only be offended if you said something unflattering about her somewhere in the thread, or revealed information that's too personally identifying. Otherwise, you are all anonymous, and I doubt she'll ever see the thread.

You did it with good intentions, also, so I think a reasonable person would forgive this even if it bothered them and they asked you not to do so again.
 
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greg75 is offline greg75 Post #38  April 27,2010, 12:21pm
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I loved reading this thread!
 
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