a guy who went poof - but why?


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itsanewworld is offline itsanewworld Post #1  April 21,2010, 6:37am
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I read the dating article on this website about guys who go "poof" and disappear. It made me wonder WHY a recent guy went poof on me. Perhaps someone here can give me insight. Because it's truly driving me nuts as I wonder and have no idea what happened. One minute, all was fine, the next, he disappeared.

This is a long story. Long at least in timeline, if not actual length. But probably that, too. But it's a guy who is not from eharmony. Instead, it's a guy I dated a long time ago.

We spoke maybe once in the passing years, but it had been 10 yrs since we'd spoke, but after I left my now ex-husband, we started talking again. but then he visited and had a lot of fun, and now he's gone again. but why?
Last edited by itsanewworld; May 8,2010 at 3:55am.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #2  April 21,2010, 9:43am
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Some guys do that...I have a feeling that he currently has another g/f and the weekend he visited you he was free (she was out of town) and he knew this other time frame worked for the same reason.

Maybe this pain was from his current g/f when she found out about his plans....
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #3  April 21,2010, 10:01am
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It doesn't seem like you really know this guy at all and perhaps have built him up in your mind a bit. Back in the day, you just had some casual fun and that was that. My best guess is that he flew over wanting the same and then went home and realized that it's too much effort for a little casual fun or perhaps he realized that your expectations have changed and now you are looking for something serious or both. He doesn't have the courage to tell you "no thanks" so he just poofed and that's that.
 
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PR_Princess is offline PR_Princess Post #4  April 21,2010, 10:19am
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*Poofing* I consider it the universe showing mercy...so you can say NEXT!!! sooner than later I'm sorry, I'm in a comical mood and you most likely wanted a more serious answer but then how can you take a *poofer* seriously when they don't stick around long enough to answer why. Not that the why really matters. I've read enough self-help books and watched enough reality T.V. to know that I am a decent human being If it was a work situation and a staff member *poofed* that is something to be concerned about....but someone you just arranged to have a date with most likely either doesn't value your company enough or has too much drama in their life making you free for someone who does have the value and room for you in their life

Or as a guy friend once told me....

A guy *poofs* once he gets what he wanted, plain and simple.
 
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readytodate is offline readytodate Post #5  April 21,2010, 10:56am
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who knows?!
Last edited by readytodate; April 21,2010 at 10:59am.
 
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itsanewworld is offline itsanewworld Post #6  April 21,2010, 11:00am
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hate it when men turn into weenies overnight.
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charmed59 is online now charmed59 Post #7  April 21,2010, 11:04am
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itsanewworld wrote :
but would a guy really do that? back out of the possibility of something fabulous with someone he really cares about just because of something like that?
If the "something like that?" is a child, the answer is yes. He might be willing to look for the possibility of something fabulous for you, but not for you as a family package.
 
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itsanewworld is offline itsanewworld Post #8  April 21,2010, 11:13am
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I think the fact that I am a single momfreaked him out in the end. made him realize that dating me long-distance was suddenly more complicated that he thought, and not worth the trouble, despite the obvious benefits of the fun we have together.
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ThePriestess is online now ThePriestess Post #9  April 21,2010, 11:13am
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robv_la is offline robv_la Post #10  April 21,2010, 11:48am
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Sounds to me like your instincts are telling you he ended things because you are a single mom. Go with that.

Take the last conversation you had. He was trying to schedule to see you and you attempted to reschedule. Maybe you were busy with your child? So he may have concluded between the long distance, his busy schedule and your busy home life, it was going to be too difficult to continue seeing you.

Obviously he should have let you know...especially given your long history.
 
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