26 & ready for my first BF


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atty09 is offline atty09 Post #1  April 20,2010, 6:48pm
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I think I am finally ready to seriously date someone. However, I have little to no dating experience. My only "real" date occurred when I was sixteen (we went to the movies). I was never asked out again and did not have a boyfriend in high school, college or grad school.

I have never been one to "look" for a relationship. I always assumed, it would happen when it happens. However, I'm getting to the point where I believe its time to start being pro-active.

My questions lie in the realm of how this is going to be percieved by potential dates. How do I tackle the "ex-boyfriend" question when I have never had an ex-boyfriend? Am I a complete anomaly because I am twenty-six and have never been in a real relationship? Most importantly, how is a man going to react to dating a woman with no dating experience? Will they "freak out"?

Please note that I do consider myself to be "pretty normal." I'm well educated, have a decent job, consider myself average looking, have great friends and a lot of interests. Also, my lack of experience in relationships does not equate to a lack of other "experience."

Thanks in advance for your responses!
 
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ThePriestess is online now ThePriestess Post #2  April 20,2010, 7:03pm
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Honest is a good policy. If the guy has an issue with you not dating before, that's his problem.
 
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greg75 is offline greg75 Post #3  April 20,2010, 7:03pm
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You know, I wouldn't even worry about it. I'm not saying to lie to anyone you go out with, but if the subject comes up, just tell them you haven't dated in awhile. You can just say that you wanted to focus on your education and getting established in your career before you focused on dating.
 
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Iconography is offline Iconography Post #4  April 20,2010, 7:26pm
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My goodness, but this sounds familiar! (I was 44 with your same "problem," minus one date.)

As TP and Greg have said have said, don't worry about it. It's entirely possible that the "ex" question won't even come up, as some people consider it bad form to ask about such things early in the dating process, and I know others who consider it bad form to ask ever. The fact that you've been concentrating on your education is all the explanation you need.

And if that's not good enough for your date, then he's not the right guy for you.
Last edited by Iconography; April 20,2010 at 7:26pm. Reason: Horrors! Forgot the "scare quotes"!
 
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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #5  April 20,2010, 10:21pm
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If he's asking exes and numbers questions, you can always reply that it is far too early to be discussing these things yet.
 
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bravethestorm is offline bravethestorm Post #6  April 20,2010, 10:32pm
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I think a lot of people take one priority at a time like education and others multi-task it all. There were people you went to school with I'm sure that had dating as their main priority.

Just look at the facts of where you are now and what you're looking for. Ask yourself some questions and put yourself out there. If asked about dating experience, just give the truth like it's been awhile while you focused on education, job, etc. If pressed further...just focus on what you want now. The past is the past and it merely shaped who you are now.

Someone that "freaks" over your past is simply not the right person for you unless they can get past it. Most would probably just raise an eyebrow and evaluate if the two of you click as relationship material.

My best suggestion is to simply put yourself out there and give the opportunity of finding someone the chance. Waiting for people to show up on your door doesn't work for most people. Dating really does take time...you got to "try on" the different personalities of your dates to see who really is the right one for you.

Good luck with your search and remember that the phrase of practice makes perfect does apply. The more you date...the better you know what you need.
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #7  April 21,2010, 4:12am
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Are there some guys that would freak out about that? Probably, but like others have said, that just means that's not the right person for you.

Just put yourself out there, don't get hung up on following some set of rules, and have fun.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #8  April 21,2010, 5:23am
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I really don't think you have a problem. So you've never really dated or had a boyfriend. There really isn't any skill involved there. The formula, if you think about it is this. You like this guy, guy likes you, you spend time together, you decide you want to spend time with him exclusively and he agrees. Bam. Relationship.

If you think about it, Ex's many times means baggage. And you don't have that. That's a plus for you.

Also, I generally don't talk about ex's at all during the dating phases. We'll see if I can stick to that if i ever get around to dating again.
 
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Dan25 is offline Dan25 Post #9  April 21,2010, 7:11am
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I'm normally not one to give advice, I'm usually here looking for it. But I can understand the pressure you feel, I'm a 25 year old guy who just recently joined the dating world. It's tough to go into a date when you have no past experience to draw on. I had the same attitude as you, just sort of waiting for something to happen. Of course traditionally its the man who asks the girl out so that obviously wasn't the right course :P.

But anyways, my advice would be to definately go for it. You seem to be a very confident and self-assured person, and you won't know until you try, good luck .
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  April 21,2010, 7:27am
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Iconography wrote :
...
And if that's not good enough for your date, then he's not the right guy for you.
This is exactly right!!!
 
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