Dating a "Separated" Guy


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matiltaf is offline matiltaf Post #1  April 18,2010, 9:41am
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I am crushing on a guy who is 2 months into a separation/divorce situation, he has made it clear that he's not looking for someone to "hook-up with and I would never push him, but he does want to "hang-out, go to dinner and the movies with me etc., am I wasting my time on someone who may or may not ever want to be in a relationship with me, or do I be patient and wait it out, I know that I do not want to end up being his "friend"
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  April 18,2010, 9:46am
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I think this is a high risk situation.

Really, would you like being someone partner while they are already looking for a new one?
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #3  April 18,2010, 9:51am
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matiltaf wrote :
I am crushing on a guy who is 2 months into a separation/divorce situation, he has made it clear that he's not looking for someone to "hook-up with and I would never push him, but he does want to "hang-out, go to dinner and the movies with me etc., am I wasting my time on someone who may or may not ever want to be in a relationship with me, or do I be patient and wait it out, I know that I do not want to end up being his "friend"
Unless he was married for like ten minutes, two months is waaaaay too soon to be trying to start something with anyone that's divorced, much less separated...
"Crush" all you want...but you are fooling yourself.

You'll be his girl-friend, but you ain't never gonna be "his girl", friend.
and, if you do really like him, give him some time to himself, as he will need it.
Last edited by TheThinker; April 18,2010 at 9:53am.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  April 18,2010, 9:54am
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He is still married. He will be married until the divorce is final, if he ever actually gets a divorce. If and when he gets a divorce he will need to take time to recover and heal and get himself into a good place.

At the moment he is cheating and as D_:Lion said, do you want to be someones partner when they are looking for a new one?
 
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Buck is offline Buck Post #5  April 18,2010, 9:57am
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Deal-breaker here as well, but to each their own. I concluded some time ago timing is among the most important factors that influence how a relationship will or will not proceed. Timing is working against you in this situation.

Do you already have too many friends?
 
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brixjnz is offline brixjnz Post #6  April 18,2010, 10:00am
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The guys are right. This is a heartbreak waiting to happen. Keep your distance for a while. Any woman he spends time with right now will likely only be a temporary placeholder for his soon to be ex-wife.
 
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singinggirl is online now singinggirl Post #7  April 18,2010, 10:05am
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Separated = Married
 
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phoenix888 is offline phoenix888 Post #8  April 18,2010, 10:08am
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This is tough. Depending on the situation, some people are ready to date during separation. This guy is not... lucky for you, he's been honest about it. You should listen to what he's telling you and believe it. Don't expect it to change.
 
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talldrinkowater is offline talldrinkowater Post #9  April 18,2010, 10:11am
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Even taking away the separated/married deal breaker factor....he's told you he doesn't want a relationship so why waste your time hoping to change his mind? It has heartbreak written all over it....you want more than he wants to give.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #10  April 18,2010, 10:15am
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Very high risk. He might reconcile with wife ... and really, do you feel ok getting in the middle of that? They're not divorced. He's married. Reeks slightly of "home-breaker".

The world is teeming with men who are actually single. How much nicer to start out clean!
 
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