szgorzelski is offline szgorzelski Post #1  April 17,2010, 5:03pm
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How did I break what rules??? I completely changed my "About Me" section on my profile on another site to one that was more honest and less how profiles are "supposed to be". What do I mean by "supposed to be"? You know, we've all researched how to write a good profile after our first one(s) wasn't generating any attraction. We took all that advice and wrote what we thought was a really good "About Me". We posted it on a message board for critique and fined tuned it until people generally agreed that it was a darn fine piece of literature. Then the replies from women kept trickling in at a slow pace. Granted, it was a faster pace than before, but still, it was slow. So the other night I wrote a completely honest profile of exactly who I thought I am. I went from a "nice guy" profile to a "bad boy" profile. The interest has been staggering. I won't post the "good guy" profile because it was pretty long, but it said all the usual stuff guys put to sound desirable. I jazzed it up a bit to fit my personality. It was a very good read, so I was told many times. However, the other night I changed it to this:

wrote :
How about a little brutal honesty: I make decent money but I'll never be rich. My truck is paid off and I'm going to add a motorcycle to the stable, but I'm years away from affording a brand new car. I can pass for 28, but I'm inching closer and closer to 40. I probably drink too much, from time to time. I had a poem published when I was 21 and have been working on a novel ever since. Unfortunately, the rough draft is still in my head. I could go on, but those are the main key notes. Better to be up front and not waste anyone's time instead of hiding all my skeletons for a later date. With me, you get what you see: warrior poet with a multitude of flaws. Despite that, I seem to be a pretty lovable guy... and unbearably awesome cool. I enjoy my life, despite its multitude of flaws. I'm carefree and that's the only way for me to be. Nothing bothers me. I take life as it comes and rock and roll with it.
Ever since the responses have been flooding in. I know what you're thinking; what kind of women would show interest in a guy that drinks too much, is lazy, and has a "multitude of flaws"? I met a couple of them and they have been some outstanding classy ladies, so don't hate on a brother. Uh huh, I said it, I meant it, I'm hear to represent it. My profile isn't that "bad" in the sense that I do drugs all the time, beat women, and rob liquor stores, but it is not the usual way men are "supposed" to write their profile. My "good guy" and "bad boy" profiles are both accurate. They are both who I am. But the bad boy profile is the one generating tons of response. Who says women really want a good guy?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  April 17,2010, 5:11pm
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This doesn't sound too bad, anyway.

I do think you should rewrite to remove two instances of "multitude of flaws" almost next to each other.

I would give one or more examples of things like "carefree" or "cool" instead of claiming them.

Working in a poetry example could be good too.

***

I got a lot of favorable feedback for honest-sounding, funny, and different profiles too.
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #3  April 17,2010, 5:26pm
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This is exactly the type of profile that catches my eye, and is very similar stylistically to my own, both on EH and on Match. There is a blunt charm and an endearing 'take me as I am, or don't take me at all' message that comes through loud and clear. I would be first in line to respond.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  April 17,2010, 5:27pm
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szgorzelski wrote :
...
Who says women really want a good guy?
Not I.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #5  April 17,2010, 5:38pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Not I.

A motorcyle will help to burnish your bad-boy image!
 
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beachgirl5 is offline beachgirl5 Post #6  April 17,2010, 5:55pm
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One thing I'll just mention. I've never met a 40 year old who could pass for 28 except in his/her own mind. I look much younger than I am is a frequent theme on eH. It's usually those using old pictures. My trainer calls it body dysmorphia. Why don't you just let woman tell you if this is the case?
 
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lada2 is online now lada2 Post #7  April 17,2010, 6:46pm
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try to add a line or to about how hard it is to be humble, and how well you manage to succeed...
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #8  April 17,2010, 6:56pm
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beachgirl5 wrote :
One thing I'll just mention. I've never met a 40 year old who could pass for 28 except in his/her own mind. I look much younger than I am is a frequent theme on eH. It's usually those using old pictures.

I haven't found that to be true.

The reason I've observed is that most people let themselves go; thus, the few who don't appear much better.
 
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oceanlady is offline oceanlady Post #9  April 17,2010, 7:04pm
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Most likely the reason women have responded better to your new "bad boy" profile is because they perceive it as more honest and sincere. Everyone knows that nobody's perfect, and so it's refreshing to hear someone own up to it from the beginning. I have closed a lot of guys because their profiles sounded pompous and like they were trying way too hard to impress me. Self-righteousness is one of the qualities that I dislike the most in people.
Last edited by oceanlady; April 17,2010 at 8:38pm. Reason: spelling
 
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szgorzelski is offline szgorzelski Post #10  April 17,2010, 7:10pm
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D_Lion wrote :
I haven't found that to be true.

The reason I've observed is that most people let themselves go; thus, the few who don't appear much better.

I agree with that. I put that I'm inching closer and closer to 40, but I just turned 35. It's very plausible for a guy in my physical condition who works out a lot, has all his hair, and has a youthful look to begin with to easily pass for 28. That is the age most people guess that I am.

As for my multitude of flaws, there are so many that I'm keeping my profile as is. I like it that way.

I have the motorcylce helmet. Now to get that motorcycle. For now I'll just wear the helmet on my bicycle.
 
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