Are 35+ women more difficult?


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nunayabizness is offline nunayabizness Post #1  April 17,2010, 2:26pm

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I know women in their late 30's early 40's are more self-confident than younger women, and that is a good thing. However, I find that this confidence often somehow crosses the line into wanting to control everything. I am still a man, after all, and there are certain situations where I want to take the lead. It is a buzzkill when a woman is constantly saying, "I don't want to do this" or "I will not do that" or "I am not going there." I am not saying that,"whatever the man says, goes" -- not by any means. I am just saying that I am starting to conclude that a lot of 35+ women are too rigid in what they will go along with. I want a lover and best friend, not another mother. A lot of women, even though I am pleasant and treat them well, feel inclined to express their disapproval of my behavior. (No, I did not do anything outlandish -- I am talking about nit-picky things.) I already have a mother. I do not need another one.
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  April 17,2010, 2:33pm
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Are you suggesting that older women will not even meet you half way, or that older women are simply less willing to go along with whatever you suggest than younger women were?

I sure hope it's not the former, when my time comes!
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #3  April 17,2010, 2:35pm
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I guess all the women here must be out having dinner right now. I expected a bunch of replies about how bad men 35+ are.
 
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nunayabizness is offline nunayabizness Post #4  April 17,2010, 2:38pm

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D_Lion wrote :
Are you suggesting that older women will not even meet you half way, or that older women are simply less willing to go along with whatever you suggest than younger women were?

I sure hope it's not the former, when my time comes!
I am not sure what is is. Is it years of being burned that makes them abandon spontaneity? Is it a genetic driven inclination toward seriousness? Is it the biological clock ticking that makes them insistent that they not waste their time unless the man is exactly what they want?

The stereotype is the 35+ woman who is willing to compromise everything. However, I am finding that it is actually the opposite.
 
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Buck is offline Buck Post #5  April 17,2010, 2:38pm
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No womenz around here will have anything to say.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #6  April 17,2010, 2:42pm
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I would expect women of my generation (35+) have already done a lot of things and know what they like and don't like. Now, if it's just "treat me like a princess" and "we only do things I want to do" then I can see your issue. But, usually, normal everyday women are willing to try new things now and then.

I'm curious as to what situations and things are being picked on. Is it all about your sense of humor? Is it all about how you dress? Something not so obvious?

And, delving past the surface of the question, could you be seeking out women who in general do not like this behavior/image/whatever it is they are picking on, and not the women who would be a better match for you?
 
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VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #7  April 17,2010, 2:45pm
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What are you asking them to do?

I don't have a problem doing things men find enjoyable that I don't particularly care for and can't even recall the last time I said no to a suggestion. Are you doing things she likes to do?
 
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nunayabizness is offline nunayabizness Post #8  April 17,2010, 2:48pm

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I am well aware that 35+ may have their own set of issues, but I do not sense a great shift in personality between 25 and 40 for men as much as I sense a change for women between those ages. Women may say that is the point, but how can becoming more rigid and less fun facilitate relationships?

I guess it is that old saying along the lines of women want men to change but men usually do not, while men do not want women to change but women usually do.
 
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Cape_Codder is offline Cape_Codder Post #9  April 17,2010, 2:49pm

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If you could provide a couple of examples of what the exact issue was they reacted to and the context of the situation it would help clarify the problem you are trying to address.
 
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cal_dude is online now cal_dude Post #10  April 17,2010, 2:50pm
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I don't think it's a gender issue. I'm finding that many become entrenched in their habits and preferences, and are less open to compromise. Since we see our friends often, we don't see this change as clear as with EH dates we meet. Also, self-righteous inflexible people are likely to be single and thus we see them often on dates or in bars, parties, etc.
An open mind ready to understand and discuss stuff is my #1 Must-have.
 
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