FebruaryStars is offline FebruaryStars Post #1  April 16,2010, 7:26pm
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I am beginning to think that a lot of people nowadays are looking for the next best thing. People are disposable in many ways. I wonder if online dating feeds into this type of behavior.

For example, if I met someone tomorrow and we enjoyed three to four dates thereafter. I would stop receiving matches and focus on getting to know that person.

I am pretty picky and not willing to settle. Personally, I don't just date someone to date someone. I don't need someone to occupy my time until I find someone more appealing. Am I over thinking dating?
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #2  April 16,2010, 7:31pm
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FebruaryStars wrote :
I am pretty picky and not willing to settle. Personally, I don't just date someone to date someone. I don't need someone to occupy my time until I find someone more appealing. Am I over thinking dating?
No - this is my stance too.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  April 16,2010, 7:32pm
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I do about the same thing, in terms of not getting matches.

I think, however, that life today requires more exacting compatability in a partner, so it will consequently be harder to find one.

Unlike you, I will have a partner for the sake of having one, even though I know that relationship must end.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #4  April 16,2010, 7:39pm
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FebruaryStars wrote :
I am pretty picky and not willing to settle. Personally, I don't just date someone to date someone. I don't need someone to occupy my time until I find someone more appealing. Am I over thinking dating?
I would never deliberately have someone in my life as a "filler".

I think maybe online dating might contribute to (or maybe reinforce) that attitude, but not unless it's already there. I had online dated for a long time and my feeling on that has never changed because of it.
 
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phoenix888 is offline phoenix888 Post #5  April 16,2010, 7:39pm
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D_Lion wrote :
I do about the same thing, in terms of not getting matches.

I think, however, that life today requires more exacting compatability in a partner, so it will consequently be harder to find one.

Unlike you, I will have a partner for the sake of having one, even though I know that relationship must end.
Froggie... I've read your history of lack of matches, and it leaves me really surprised. What are your search parameters set to??

As for admitting to having a partner for the sake of having one... you are truly an honest guy with guts to say that. Kudos!! I admit to having done that in the past too... but no more. It cost me too much. Maybe its different for women, that it can cost too much?
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  April 16,2010, 7:49pm
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FebruaryStars wrote :
I am beginning to think that a lot of people nowadays are looking for the next best thing. People are disposable in many ways. I wonder if online dating feeds into this type of behavior.

For example, if I met someone tomorrow and we enjoyed three to four dates thereafter. I would stop receiving matches and focus on getting to know that person.

I am pretty picky and not willing to settle. Personally, I don't just date someone to date someone. I don't need someone to occupy my time until I find someone more appealing. Am I over thinking dating?
Many people (most of my matches) would seem to feel that people are disposable. I can't say that very many of them are ever interested in actually spending any amount of time to get to really know someone. It may be a phenomenon wrought by online dating.
 
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Mr79percent is offline Mr79percent Post #7  April 16,2010, 7:50pm
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I always recycle my people. Or compost. Being ecologically responsible and all that.
 
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dazedconfuzed is offline dazedconfuzed Post #8  April 16,2010, 7:51pm
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I was recently offered the chance to be "filler" by 2 different guys and there is no way to describe how it made me feel. But disposable sure does apply. "We like each other, we have a good time together, we're attracted to each other, we have a lot in common" but we're not LTR material, BUT we can date until someone better comes along!"

Someone explain this way of thinking to me, please!!!!!
Last edited by eHA_Admin_Lori; April 17,2010 at 6:47am. Reason: removed masked obscenity
 
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howardtheduck is offline howardtheduck Post #9  April 16,2010, 7:51pm
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Me? I'd rather be alone than in another relationship without meaning or "filler" as described. I had that for long enough in my marriage. I love my own company and when I am bored, I go for a drive in a fast car on the turnpike. Or? Wait, no, I go for a drive...
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #10  April 16,2010, 7:54pm
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phoenix888 wrote :
Froggie... I've read your history of lack of matches, and it leaves me really surprised. What are your search parameters set to??

For eHahaha specifically:

- 30 miles, with highest importance (which equates to about 55 road miles, or two hours plus, where I live.) Anything over that is too much for me to consider.

- Age, I added two years over and under the eHahaha default. I left importance as default (in the middle); I get matches well beyond my age (up to 53.)

- Lifestyle, no smokers and no children.

Of course, there are far more screens once I read the profiles. From the above, I get one match per every three weeks (and most of those are non-paying, or dead profiles.)

I close 75% of matches at the profile, for statements / values. As a free member, I can not see photos. If the experience of 15 years ago holds true, I would close at least 95% for appearance-care (or lack thereof.)


phoenix888 wrote :
As for admitting to having a partner for the sake of having one... you are truly an honest guy with guts to say that. Kudos!!

This doesn't seem significant to me.

My dating experience overlapped being a student (evening student), and relationships were normally understood to be of limited duration.

I think it is normal to have a partner. When we can not find a long-term partner, we take what we can get (just like jobs.)
 
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