am I being led on again? or just paranoid?


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bayley is offline bayley Post #1  April 16,2010, 4:09pm
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This guy (a customer) I see at work, almost daily, and I had always been chatty and joked around with each other but a couple of months ago we both found at that we were around the same age (early 30s) and we just started flirting more and more since then. Last week, I just got started on Facebook and I asked him a couple days later, if he was on there too. He said yeah, but he’s not on very regularly and very excitedly asked me for my last name so he could friend me. So I said, great, now I can harass you whenever I want, to which he responded “Or I could just call you! Oh, I still have your number. Is it still ####?”. He had kept my number from over a year ago that was given to him on a completely unrelated, work matter. And before I could answer, he was already calling me in order to give me his cell number.

He didn’t call me or friend me that weekend. I didn’t really think too much about it, I mean he does have 2 jobs right now that are each almost full-time hours. So on Monday I asked him if he could take txts with his phone (I wasn’t sure if he had a company phone or his own). And he told me that yeah, he can, he just has to be careful because he only had 1000/month but he can definitely take txts. Well, the next day, I txt’d him…. (ugh)… and asked if he wanted to go out for drinks this week or next? He didn’t get back with me, but I saw him the following day and the first thing he said to me (no hello, no hi how are you, but rather just…) “Hey did you send me a txt? I got a msg about an undeliverable msg and it looked like your number”. So I said, yep, and I resent it. An hour later, I saw him again and asked “Hey, did you get that msg?” and he told me “yeah, but I’m going to have to check my schedule first.” So I just smiled and said “great, just let me know then”. And he seemed pretty happy with this and said ok. Its been a couple of days now and still no txt, no call, no "friending", nada.

Am I just being too impatient here or what? It seems to me that it doesn’t take much time or energy to respond to a txt, even if it is just to say, how about some other time? I’ve had some bad experiences with guys playing mind games lately and I’ll admit that I could be just paranoid here, but it bothers me that here’s yet another guy who I thought seemed pretty decent but could just be leading me on. Does this sound like this guy is actually interested or is just playing games?
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #2  April 16,2010, 4:31pm
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if he is working two jobs i think i would just let him respond back when he can. i wouldnt send him any more texts at this point or say anything about the facebook thing either
 
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ForwardUntoDawn is online now ForwardUntoDawn Post #3  April 16,2010, 5:54pm
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Kinda of have to let it ride at this point, and remember guys can be dumb about this stuff
 
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howardtheduck is offline howardtheduck Post #4  April 16,2010, 7:28pm
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Remember this is not an online date, where hard to get is a bit of a joke. In the dating world when you meet like you did, people posture, play hard to get, jockey for position. It becomes a little bit like a poker game. You gotta ride the tide and see if he comes through. Good luck
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  April 16,2010, 7:53pm
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ForwardUntoDawn wrote :
Kinda of have to let it ride at this point, and remember guys can be dumb about this stuff
Huh, dumb about what
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  April 16,2010, 7:54pm
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First and foremost NEVER date someone you work with!!! Dating a customer is even more of a no, no!!!
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  April 16,2010, 7:56pm
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Oh yeah, almost forgot to address the actual question.

He is not interested in you.
 
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FebruaryStars is offline FebruaryStars Post #8  April 16,2010, 8:41pm
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bayley,

I would leave the ball in his court at this point. I have actually had a
similar experience with someone that I used to work with. He originally took my phone number for a work related reason. Then he texted me, asking if I wanted to do something. I said yes, he said great. He tentatively set up a date with me and totally cancelled. I was dumbfounded. What the heck just happened??? After I had accepted the date, I heard from another source that he was seeing someone. Here is what I think may have happened: His current relationship was taking a downturn, so he was seeing what was out there. He was pulling away from the "girl," she suspected it and they made up. End of story...Do I overanalyze things or what?

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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #9  April 16,2010, 8:59pm
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If you want to ask someone out, a text is a lame way to do it. Call them or ask in person if it's someone you already see in person.

BTW, what's with the Facebook nonsense, when you were already running into each other in person?
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #10  April 16,2010, 9:01pm
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FebruaryStars wrote :
Make him work for it, if he wants to do something with you, he will call. I wouldn't reply to his texts or phone calls right away and I wouldn't make myself too available. This has been something that I have been trying lately after dating a series of douchebags. In the past, I have made things way too easy for men. No longer....besides they love the chase.
When did you start dating women?

This is some of the worst advice ever, BTW. Most of the guys who "love the chase" are the players who are just after sex.

The rest of us will cross you off the list if you pull this nonsense of not replying and so forth.
 
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