Your friend wants to date your ex....yay or nay?


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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  April 15,2010, 10:55am
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Is it OK for a friend to date your ex? - CNN.com

How would you react if a close friend wanted to date your ex?

I asked around here at work and was surprised at the responses...and as always I'm curious about what our Advicers think

What say you?
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #2  April 15,2010, 11:01am
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It's none of my business.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #3  April 15,2010, 11:05am
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If she felt a need to punish herself for something.Who am I to stop her?
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #4  April 15,2010, 11:15am
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If I knew something about him I thought she should know (e.g. he's physically abusive) I'd tell her. Probably more than once.

Barring something like that ... I'd wish them well ... and probably not really want to hear a lot of detail about it!
 
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Wootz is offline Wootz Post #5  April 15,2010, 11:35am
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I would not presume to tell my friends who they can and cannot date. That said, I'm with Sassy in that I'd definitely relate any serious information I think they'd need to hear. About my ex in particular I haven't any major issues to pass on.

I, also, don't want any info on the goings on there. Eventually, I would get used to the idea. Probably.

I have a friend who went through this with another of my friends. The ex and the new man are now married, the first friend (who she dumped) isn't in the picture very much, as he has distanced himself from that relationship. Though it is sad, because they are all good people, I can see why he doesn't come around much when he knows they will be here.
 
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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #6  April 15,2010, 11:37am
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... is like a nice warm vibratey feeling all through your guttiwuts.

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My ex-wife started boinking my "friend" before we split so I'm probably not the right person to answer this one!

Hey, I can laugh about it now! They deserve each other. LOL!
 
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HarryG is offline HarryG Post #7  April 15,2010, 11:42am
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tweet37 wrote :
It's none of my business.
I agree with that sentiment. However, if the question actually is asking "Would I be upset of my friend dated my ex?" then the answer would be:

No.

Just because they are an "ex" doesn't make them the Devil. If you dated the person, then obviously, they had good qualities. All of my exes are fine people. Some of them have issues-but Heck...everyone has one issue or another.

I would simply wish the best for both of them-and hope that their relationship has more success than mine did.
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #8  April 15,2010, 11:48am

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Because of my ex-husbands issues I would warn my friend. Then again my friends know my ex and wouldn't date him. I guess that is what is strange about this scenario if they are your friend they should know better if your ex is pure evil so if they want to date him that what does that say about your friend?

My ex boyfriend it wouldn't bother me at all.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #9  April 15,2010, 11:49am

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A good friend of mine dated my ex before we became friends. That's how we know each other.

That sombeetch didn't even warn me about the She-devil! Dang it!

But for a while we swapped stories of how evil she was lol.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #10  April 15,2010, 11:53am
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I would say "good luck" and here's a number to a therapist!
 
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