emzenz is offline emzenz Post #1  April 15,2010, 8:50am
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So I have met/remet the man of my dreams!! However.... he's in the army. Now that part is not an issue considering I am a reservist myself. however, I have spent the past 8 months writing via myspace with few phone calls while he's been in Afghanistan and now he is stationed in Alaska until July of next year. The chemistry is there and although he doesn't say the exact words, he's already making plans for next time he's on leave. However, the logical answer is "no relationship right now. What's the point? you're an entire country away." Soo... a. How do I spend the next year not pining/dreaming/etc for him? b. How do I remind him that I'm the one he once or twice mentioned marrying? c. How do I not go crazy during all of this?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  April 15,2010, 3:02pm
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Do you know any other persons with situation similar to yours?

Might be the right sort of people to make some freiends with.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  April 15,2010, 4:57pm
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Last time I checked Alaska is part of the United States and it is considered by the US military as a non-combat location.

Given the above facts, what is keeping you from visiting him from time to time while he is stationed in Alaska?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  April 15,2010, 5:15pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Alaska is part of the United States and it is considered by the US military as a non-combat location.

Sarah Palin thinks Putin is going to attact at any moment?
 
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fanofsteel is offline fanofsteel Post #5  April 15,2010, 7:43pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Sarah Palin thinks Putin is going to attact at any moment?
If Putin does attack, Sarah Palin will see the attack before anyone else. After all, Russia is right outside her window.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #6  April 15,2010, 8:23pm
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To get this back on topic....

There is no question but that it's tough to live the military life. Lots of benefits, too, of course, but also lots of additional stresses and strains. Being separated for periods of time is one of those.

It's not clear to me from your post whether you two have actually spent time together in person, or if all of your interaction has been online and on the phone. If you have not actually met yet and spent time together in "real life," then there is always the danger that the romance won't work once you are face to face. It seems, though, that you may in fact have met, and so you've already tested whether the online chemistry is there in person? Even so, it sounds like you have physically spent little time together...

If nothing else, the two of you should have a serious talk (preferably on the phone, not online) about what your relationship is and what your expectations are for it. Is he committed to you (theoretical marriage proposals aside)? Where does he see the relationship headed (and is that in line with your hopes)? If his feelings for you are so strong that he seriously thinks he wants to marry you, then you should not have to remind him of that.

I'm assuming that you are both young (in your 20s). So, you have time ahead of you to figure out if this is "the one" or if you should try dating others as well. There is no "right" answer here -- whether you choose to wait for him or to date others in the meantime. But, do make sure that you really have the information you need (including about his feelings and expectations) so you can make a good decision for yourself.

Best of luck to you.
 
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szgorzelski is offline szgorzelski Post #7  April 24,2010, 5:56am
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I have absolutely no scientific data to back this up, but I do think long distance relationships work better when one or more of the parties is in the military (or some job that involves a lot of travelling). I say this because moving around is a normal part of military life and to be expected. The average civilian usually doesn't have to deal with this so moving away from someone you are interested in may be more shocking and depressing to them. When we are not overseas, we sometimes get sent TDY (civilian for business trip) around the country, so you never know when the guy you like might suddenly be within driving distance for a week or longer. Also, because we do move around a lot, we as a whole are more used to long distance relationships than most civilians, and therefore, theoretically, know how to make it work a little better. Again, this is all just my "best guess" because I have nothing to back it up other than experience.

I have a lady friend in a different service (who WAY outranks me - booyah!) who I have maintained somewhat of a long distance uncommitted relationship with. We are both military and so we both know this is just the way things are, so it doesn't bother us if we don't see each other for months or if one dates other people. Being a reservist yourself, maybe you feel the same way. Being thousands of miles apart, maybe asking him to be committed to you is too much to ask? I don't know. I don't know how your relationship is. It may even be healthy for you to see other people while you are separated so you don't indeed go nuts or start obsessing.
 
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