Getting to know someone long distance


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justanotherguy is offline justanotherguy Post #1  April 14,2010, 2:03pm
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I talked a little about this on another thread where I had met this girl at my friends wedding. We've been talking almost everyday via, text, phone, and skype for about 2 weeks. She lives too far to take out on a date and so we're forced to get to know each other at long distance. The last couple of times we spoke, I've felt like we're starting to run out of new things to talk about. What I'm looking to find out is what kind of things do you all think I could do to keep things interesting since I can't be physically there to take her out and whatnot. I had a couple of ideas: send her a funny/not serious card that just says have a great week, or some flowers, or my other idea...it sounds corny, but I think it's creative. In the card or with the flowers I thought about asking her to have a skype date with me one night she has a day off from work. Too forward? Too cheesy? Bad ideas all together? I just want to keep things interesting while we're getting to know each other being that we are about 1000 miles apart.

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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #2  April 14,2010, 2:33pm
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If you've already run out of things to talk about, that's a bad sign. I'd cut down on the frequency. Why do you need to talk every day as if you were married?
 
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superbeetle is offline superbeetle Post #3  April 14,2010, 2:41pm
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I'm in an LDR, and in five months we haven't run out of things to talk about. There are days, though, that we can't talk at all, or can just send a quick email. If you're trying to talk for three hours a day, you might have unrealistic expectations of your communications.

I like your creative ideas. Some things that have worked for us are sending music links back and forth (i.e. your top five favorites, favorite romantic music, or just stuff you're listening to now). We also link to books and articles to talk about, play games on skype, and send pictures of our daily lives.

Finally, do you have a time coming up when you can see each other again? We're also about a 1000 miles apart, and I don't think I could do it if I didn't know how often I was going to see him.
 
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justanotherguy is offline justanotherguy Post #4  April 14,2010, 2:45pm
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mrflyer wrote :
If you've already run out of things to talk about, that's a bad sign. I'd cut down on the frequency. Why do you need to talk every day as if you were married?
Ok, maybe I worded that wrong. I wouldn't say running out of things to talk about, but I think maybe the frequency that we're talking is making it feel that way.

That's a good point and to a certain extent I agree with you. However, I see another side. Since I can't take her out right now, I don't see anything wrong with talking a little more frequently. Good thoughts, bad thoughts?
Last edited by justanotherguy; April 14,2010 at 2:49pm.
 
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justanotherguy is offline justanotherguy Post #5  April 14,2010, 2:48pm
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superbeetle wrote :
I'm in an LDR, and in five months we haven't run out of things to talk about. There are days, though, that we can't talk at all, or can just send a quick email. If you're trying to talk for three hours a day, you might have unrealistic expectations of your communications.

I like your creative ideas. Some things that have worked for us are sending music links back and forth (i.e. your top five favorites, favorite romantic music, or just stuff you're listening to now). We also link to books and articles to talk about, play games on skype, and send pictures of our daily lives.

Finally, do you have a time coming up when you can see each other again? We're also about a 1000 miles apart, and I don't think I could do it if I didn't know how often I was going to see him.
Ok, so you don't think those ideas are too forward?

Well, at first we were talking about visiting and then we agreed it was too soon to do that. So, right now, we're giving it time so we can get to know each other. She mentioned that she might be visiting a friend who will be about 3 hours from me and suggested that we could meet up then. I don't recall exactly when this is, but I think sometime next month...just trying to take it slow. At the same time, I don't want the interest to fade away.
 
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howardtheduck is offline howardtheduck Post #6  April 14,2010, 4:58pm
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My thoughts? Get a date closer to home. Give this a final break.
 
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Buck is offline Buck Post #7  April 14,2010, 5:11pm
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If one or both of you are presently unprepared for dealing with distance should that time come, then I'd suggest you each give some thought to the realities involved with dating in this manner. You don't have to talk about it with each other right now, but if both of you are not ready to do what it takes to see each other more often later on, then why start something you can't finish? Coast-to-coast experience talking.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  April 14,2010, 5:28pm
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mrflyer wrote :
If you've already run out of things to talk about, that's a bad sign. I'd cut down on the frequency. Why do you need to talk every day as if you were married?
Yep.
 
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justanotherguy is offline justanotherguy Post #9  April 14,2010, 6:40pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Yep.
I corrected myself. I misspoke.
Last edited by justanotherguy; April 14,2010 at 6:49pm.
 
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justanotherguy is offline justanotherguy Post #10  April 14,2010, 6:47pm
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My thoughts? Get a date closer to home. Give this a final break.
I guess I should have mentioned in this post also, that I am active duty military and so is she. So, I don't really have a choice when it comes to distance with all the moving I am doing in the next few years. Until she tells me that she's not up for it, I'm not going to disregard the potential. I've never been the type to give up on much of anything. If that doesn't serve me well in this case, then she's not for me, because that's who I am.
Last edited by justanotherguy; April 14,2010 at 8:29pm.
 
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