How long do you think it takes to be ready?


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TXButtercup is offline TXButtercup Post #1  April 13,2010, 8:34pm
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*facepalm*

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Another thread made me think of this topic. I borrowed a couple of partial quotes:

fanofsteel wrote :
I agree with most things said by the other posters here but I want to hit upon something no one else seems to be addressing directly. You seem to have some suspicion that this guy might be on the rebound from his marriage. Go with that! It sounds like he is definitely on the rebound. You probably know from your own divorce that it often takes quite a while to really be emotionally stable after any serious relationship.
/snip/
I'd recommend against dating this guy until he gets his act together, which is likely to be far in the future -- several years, perhaps. And don't fall for it when he says, "Don't worry, I'm not on the rebound." He might even believe this consciously, because it's easy to be in denial when we're on the rebound, but this guy is definitely on the rebound and undateable.
Alli824 wrote :
His behavior seems to be typical of someone recently divorced. There is an ambivalence here, and a sense of confusion because he is downright scared. I think he likes you a lot but is petrified on embarking on a relationship, after all he's been burnt. It takes about two and a half years for most divorced people (regardless of who initiates the divorce) to attain some level of emotional stability....
So I am curious about other daters' experiences. How long did it take before you were truly ready for a relationship?
 
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Wootz is offline Wootz Post #2  April 13,2010, 8:42pm
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TXButtercup wrote :
So I am curious about other daters' experiences. How long did it take before you were truly ready for a relationship?
A bit over six years. But I may be considered "slow." *grin*

I'm careful about what I start, and what I commit to. Because it tends to be a very serious concern for me...
 
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illustrator is offline illustrator Post #3  April 13,2010, 8:43pm
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I'M READY . . . . I'M READY ! ! ! !
Last edited by illustrator; April 13,2010 at 8:44pm. Reason: ...... ask me out already
 
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annother is offline annother Post #4  April 13,2010, 8:49pm
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Over one year.

Illustrator: Your place or mine?
 
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illustrator is offline illustrator Post #5  April 13,2010, 8:53pm
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annother wrote :
Illustrator: Your place or mine?
So you admit it . . . . you were impressed with my math test.
 
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Buck is offline Buck Post #6  April 13,2010, 8:56pm
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At least two years.
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #7  April 13,2010, 9:19pm
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A year or two -- from the final divorce --- at least. I dated a guy last summer who'd been divorced 6+ years. He kept saying he was looking for a partner, but deep down he was still pretty messed up: "why does she hate me so much?" etc. Ugh.

And in my experience, seldom does a person realize they're on the rebound when they are...
Last edited by lacedwithhope; April 13,2010 at 9:22pm.
 
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ThePriestess is online now ThePriestess Post #8  April 13,2010, 9:27pm
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About 3 minutes.
Last edited by ThePriestess; April 13,2010 at 9:29pm. Reason: Though I've never honestly timed it before.
 
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mari3434 is offline mari3434 Post #9  April 13,2010, 9:30pm
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It has been almost one year since separation and I am most definitely not ready to consider dating yet
 
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TXButtercup is offline TXButtercup Post #10  April 13,2010, 9:31pm
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illustrator wrote :
I'M READY . . . . I'M READY ! ! ! !

Reason: ...... ask me out already



Weeeellll....I am just fine with the younger guy thing, but I do have my limits
Last edited by TXButtercup; April 13,2010 at 9:32pm. Reason: even if I am very impressed with his math skills
 
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