What's the nicest way to dump someone?


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YamahaMama is offline YamahaMama Post #1  April 13,2010, 5:42pm
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So someone that I have gone out with four times seems to have somewhat of an alcohol problem. On our last date he actually snuck a beer into the movie theater! I just don't want this kind of thing in my life but know that a direct "you seem to have an alcohol problem" runs the risk of nasty backlash. Plus I figure if people want to live in denile about things it isn't my job to change their minds. That being said I plan to send him an email stating that I no longer wish to see him and I want to say it kindly. Any suggestions for the best thing to say? ( and yes at this point email is still appropriate as that has been our main form of communication)
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  April 13,2010, 5:48pm
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Hey, I snuck a Beer into a movie theatre!

***

Personally, when I make the decision to end a relationship I usually announce it during the course of being together (usually, I finally make the decision when we are together.)

In my experience, the women will ask why at minimum, and often argue it. If I am asked, I will state a reason. I see no problem at all with saying "I am not confortable with how much you drink."

I consider the e-mail fine.
Last edited by D_Lion; April 13,2010 at 5:52pm.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #3  April 13,2010, 5:56pm
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I agree that email is acceptable in this case. I would just be truthful.... tell him that you appear to want different things in life, that you enjoyed meeting him, and wish him well in his search for a better match. I don't see a need to bring up his drinking.
 
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YamahaMama is offline YamahaMama Post #4  April 13,2010, 6:10pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Hey, I snuck a Beer into a movie theatre!

***
.
lol yeah Im not saying it's never done...but ad that to the amount he drank on the first date AND the fact that he was sitting in his car drinking a beer while waiting for me on date number two and you got urself a problem!
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #5  April 13,2010, 6:14pm

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ok yeah that's definitely a problem.
 
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StuckOnYou is offline StuckOnYou Post #6  April 13,2010, 6:17pm
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YamahaMama wrote :
lol yeah Im not saying it's never done...but ad that to the amount he drank on the first date AND the fact that he was sitting in his car drinking a beer while waiting for me on date number two and you got urself a problem!
...would have led me to decline the second (and future) dates without getting into the car. I don't take issue with drinking, but drinking and driving is a different story.

++

I think an email is fine at this point and don't see any reason to mention the drinking at all.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #7  April 13,2010, 6:18pm
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YamahaMama wrote :
.... he was sitting in his car drinking a beer while waiting for me on date number two and you got urself a problem!
I sure hope you didn't get in the car with him! Seriously, if this happened to me, date no. 2 would have been over with right then and there.
 
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legend29 is offline legend29 Post #8  April 13,2010, 6:18pm
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YamahaMama wrote :
So someone that I have gone out with four times seems to have somewhat of an alcohol problem. On our last date he actually snuck a beer into the movie theater! I just don't want this kind of thing in my life but know that a direct "you seem to have an alcohol problem" runs the risk of nasty backlash. Plus I figure if people want to live in denile about things it isn't my job to change their minds. That being said I plan to send him an email stating that I no longer wish to see him and I want to say it kindly. Any suggestions for the best thing to say? ( and yes at this point email is still appropriate as that has been our main form of communication)
Just say "I am sorry but I do not think you and I are a good match"...

I mean...really...after 4 dates you really don't owe him much more than that. Leave him with his dignity (and his beer)...and move on!

Besides, if he does have a problem with alcohol, anything you say beyond that won't hold much weight with him anyway, because most folks with a drinking problem could really care less what others think.

..or you can always "poof"...that seems to be the mode for some folks...
Last edited by legend29; April 13,2010 at 6:24pm.
 
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szgorzelski is offline szgorzelski Post #9  April 13,2010, 6:44pm
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First of all, there are movie theaters that sell beer. It's the only one I'll go to.

Secondly, the nicest way to break up with someone is the way I do it - just be a dumbass until they break up with you first.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  April 13,2010, 6:55pm
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Poof.
 
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