Look4Advice is offline Look4Advice Post #1  April 12,2010, 10:37am
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Would you date someone who doesn't have a car? He's in his early 40s, lives downtown, so I can see why he doens't need a car. I'm a single mom in the suburbs, and couldn't live without a car.

So I'm curious, would you say a car is a must have or a nice to have?
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #2  April 12,2010, 10:39am
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Why does it matter?

It sounds like he's decided he doesn't need a car, or else he'd get one. I'm assuming he has enough income to support himself.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #3  April 12,2010, 10:39am

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A car is a must have for me.
 
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cleanslate is offline cleanslate Post #4  April 12,2010, 10:47am
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It probably depends on where you live. Here in Charlotte, he would have to have a car; the public transportation system is weak, taxis are rare and expensive, and the lack of a car would surely be indicative of some other problem: financial, DUI, etc. But if he's in NYC or Chicago or someplace like that, I could understand not having a car. Those towns have extensive public transportation systems as well as atrociously difficult and expensive car-parking issues.
Last edited by cleanslate; April 12,2010 at 10:49am.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #5  April 12,2010, 10:50am
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Clearly for you it's a must-have, and for him it's a don't-want.

So if you date him ... how will he get out to your area, or meet you places? I'd leave that up to him, since the no-car is his choice. He can take public transit, he can get taxis, etc. Right? Does it need to be an issue?
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #6  April 12,2010, 10:51am

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I dated two NYC guys who didn't have cars. ( I'm in NJ)

It's not an issue unless you make it one. the biggest sacrifice was the long train rides, but if you like him, it's worth it.

NOW.

the one guy started to take a really lax approach to coming to see me, so i was doing all the driving etc, etc... but that wasn't a car issue- it was a laziness one.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #7  April 12,2010, 11:13am
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It really depends on where you live. In some places it's a must have and lack of is indicative of problems. In other places it's just a nice to have and in other places it's a costly luxury in terms parking costs v. actual use of it.

But ultimately if you want to know his reasoning for not having one as well as how he proposes to get around, you need to ask him directly. We can only speculate here.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #8  April 12,2010, 11:16am
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Sassafras54 wrote :
So if you date him ... how will he get out to your area, or meet you places? I'd leave that up to him, since the no-car is his choice. He can take public transit, he can get taxis, etc. Right? Does it need to be an issue?
Or they could use her car.

Certainly if the sexes were reversed, that's what people would expect. No one would say the woman should take taxis when the man has a car.
 
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ThePriestess is online now ThePriestess Post #9  April 12,2010, 11:27am
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I wish I didn't need to have a car ... money pit ...
 
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lindseyk is offline lindseyk Post #10  April 12,2010, 11:38am

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It wouldn't bother me. I don't have a car so I'm in no position to judge. lol
 
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