how I know men don't read profiles, or are just over-condfident, possibly cheap


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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #1  April 11,2010, 3:01pm

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I currently have profiles up on both match and eharmony.

I've long believed that EH is superior in the types of people it attracts and I appreciate that men cannot search but must be matched with me first -- however I do believe it's changing since many men know that 'better quality women' are on eh (so a recent eh match told me he had heard when I asked him in the second set of questions why he was on eharmony). That's a different issue I won't address now!

I don't know that eharmony men are more likely to actually read the profiles, but I'd gather it's likely considering they have fewer matches (if anything).

I've always felt match was a bit of a meat market and I will often turn my profile off because I just don't like 'being out there' and I get the feeling the men are lower quality too or less likely to be on the path to a real relationship. Though I met my last boyfriend that way (hmmm).

Here are my recent findings.

I rarely respond to winks. So, this time I decided to put that in my profile near the end of the 'about me' section. I mentioned that if they want to talk it would be best to message me as I rarely respond to winks.

I seem to be getting more winks than before, with the occasional message sent when I'm actually online with 'hey what r u doing' as if that is what I meant by 'message'

I just keep saying to myself -- they must not be reading my profile at all, or they think they will be the rare guy I respond to who sent me a wink.

One man had this as his headline 'faint heart never won fair lady' and he winked at me. I'd seen him before on match and thought he was cute and seemed nice.

I decided to send him a quick message and said something like 'winks never won fair lady either'

A couple weeks later he messaged me and said, yeah you are right, but sometimes it's hard to buck up and just pay the money.

I thought huh? You mean the $19.99 to possibly meet the love of your life, you mean the minimal effort to send her a message instead of a fly by wink and you expect her to what? put her phone number in her profile?

anyway. discuss.
Last edited by cp30; April 11,2010 at 3:01pm. Reason: sorry, I should say SOME men, namely, MATCH men
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #2  April 11,2010, 3:05pm
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Well, there are plenty of women who will use sites like that but won't pay to join. Do you consider them cheap, too? A lot of them are on this forum.

Sometimes it's because they've tried paying and didn't think the results were worth what they paid.

I'm sure there are plenty of women who don't fully read profiles... so what really is your point?
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #3  April 11,2010, 3:16pm

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They are trying to use the site by 'winking' if they are not paying we can't message each other.

If I were not paying I would not be pursuing people in a passive way such as winking.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #4  April 11,2010, 3:21pm

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ps. I'd change the title if I could. I don't mean to start a gender war. What I really mean is I think the men on eh are most likely superior to match -- if anything because they might be forced to be because they get fewer matches.

Personally, I read profiles. I'm disheartened that even more men probably don't than I would have thought and that is just by own experiences of putting explicit details near the end of my profile (I don't respond to winks) and getting lots of winks anyway.

Also, I say in my profile that I defintiley want kids... I still get lots of 'don't want kids' contacting me.
 
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edwardtx is offline edwardtx Post #5  April 11,2010, 3:29pm
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cp30 wrote :
...I think the men on eh are most likely superior to match -- if anything because they might be forced to be because they get fewer matches.
Uhh.. what does this mean?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #6  April 11,2010, 3:30pm
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I will usually read every word of a profile, more than once before opening communication (though I get very few matches: about one every two or three weeks.)

When I used Match (ten years ago), I gave up writing women (since they ignored my e-mails), and just waited for women to write me (or "wink;" in either case, I'd reply.)

I had the same frustration you do though, in that I would have it clearly, spelled out "no children," and yet, like taxes, the women wanting children kept writing me.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #7  April 11,2010, 3:30pm
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edwardtx wrote :
Uhh.. what does this mean?

D_Lion is superior, I think?
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #8  April 11,2010, 3:34pm

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edwardtx wrote :
Uhh.. what does this mean?
it means I think it attracts better people overall, with stronger attention spans, better motives (if you are into relationships and that is your goal) etc.

However, I think it's possible that it forces men to be better match material because they probably have fewer matches to consider and are more likely to fully evaluate their matches.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #9  April 11,2010, 3:46pm

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if a moderator would like to change 'men' to people in the title I'd be fine with that....or say put 'match men' in the title. I'm not trying to tick anyone off....it's just an observation that supports what I always thought about match...
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #10  April 11,2010, 3:46pm
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cp30 wrote :
Personally, I read profiles. I'm disheartened that even more men probably don't than I would have thought and that is just by own experiences of putting explicit details near the end of my profile (I don't respond to winks) and getting lots of winks anyway.

Also, I say in my profile that I defintiley want kids... I still get lots of 'don't want kids' contacting me.
This doesn't mean they didn't read your profile. Sometimes it means what you said doesn't apply to them, or you may change your mind later, or since we don't usually get 100% of what we want, it doesn't hurt to contact you anyway.

Don't look at your profile as a set of laws that others must comply with. I can say I only want to be contacted by blondes under 25 who work as models and are willing to support me financially, but that doesn't mean I will get those people.
 
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