Do you Drink I Think too much? - Checking if your date "has a problem."


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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #1  April 11,2010, 1:05pm
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Consider this post:

Cape_Codder wrote :
I want to see how someone handles drinking when I first meet them. When you have lived with someone with alcoholism you learn to read the signs. I am simply making a conscious decision not to get involved with anyone who drinks to excess or somone who has control issues with it.

I invite anyone to give some example of what they are looking for, what they consider positive or negative, about a new partner?

***

My first meeting is usually a longish dinner (three hours.) I want to have a drink before dinner, and a bottle of wine with dinner.

In my personal experience, the women tend to have only one drink (this is most common), even though it's dinner and I am drinking.

Since there has been a clear pattern that the physically smaller women drink less, I assumed this was a safety / driving concern underlying their reasoning?

Myself, I intend to enjoy my dinner regardless of the outcome of the date, but I also have found that I enjoy my conversation more over wine.

Comments welcome.
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #2  April 11,2010, 1:16pm
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I don't go out that often, maybe once or twice a month with friends. I usually have a gin & tonic before the lunch/dinner and a glass of wine during the meal. If it's dinner and we continue somewhere afterwards, I'll have a double gin & tonic.
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #3  April 11,2010, 1:17pm
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I invite anyone to give some example of what they are looking for, what they consider positive or negative, about a new partner?

Are we limiting the conversation to drinking?

If so, I look for: 1) changes in behavior that would indicate masking, e.g. his true nature comes out with the alcohol; 2) that he drinks responsibly and that doing so does not render him adversely affected. I will not tolerate anyone who drinks beyond legal limits or beyond their personal tolerance (if it is less than the legal limit) and then drives; and 3) if the alcohol is required for him to have a good time.

These things would indicate to me that we are not a good match in this area.
Last edited by littlebluemonkeymind; April 11,2010 at 1:20pm.
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #4  April 11,2010, 1:17pm
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If I had a date who had a drink before dinner and then consumed the majority of a bottle of wine during dinner, I would worry about how he was to get home? That would put you close to the legal drink driving limit here, I think it would tip you over. I would be worried for your safety, not mine in this scenario.

I'm small (5'3) and I limit to two drinks due to drink driving laws and not wanting to lose control of myself. I can act the fool without the influence of alcohol ... but I don't need him thinking that I lack the ability to control my interests (which I would have thought would be one of your flags); or putting myself in the position of extra expense (taxi) to get home.
 
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ThePriestess is online now ThePriestess Post #5  April 11,2010, 1:20pm
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I'll have to drink over this and get back to you.
 
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bwight is offline bwight Post #6  April 11,2010, 1:21pm
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I know that I like to have a few beers with dinner depending on the duration it could be between 1-3 beers. I don't drink very fast even if I was drinking beer all night I will not be drunk. I don't think that having shots or other hard alcohol is not a good idea if you're just having dinner or talking at a bar. Shots only serve one purpose and that is to get drunk.

Depending on the environment more alcohol is fine. For example if you're at a club or party and everyone is drinking and having a good time including your date. I think it's important to not get drunk or even close. If you can't legally drive a vehicle then you had too much to drink.

Whatever you do, if your date asks you to stop drinking you should honor her wish. If someone thinks you've had enough and you cannot stop then you have a problem. I don't think that just because someone has a few drinks they have a drinking problem.
Last edited by bwight; April 11,2010 at 1:24pm.
 
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phoenix888 is offline phoenix888 Post #7  April 11,2010, 1:30pm
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I will have beer or wine depending on where we're eating. Usually one, never more than two. If my date orders a soft drink instead? So will I. During a date, I like having things equal.

I have only twice been on dates where the guy changed a lot after drinking. With one, it was like a switch was flipped - he got moody and negative. With another, he got very silly and inappropriate and LOUD (he had actually started drinking before I got there... yikes). There was no second date with either guy.... red flags were a-flyin'!!
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #8  April 11,2010, 1:33pm
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Some points:

Keep in mind, this is a three or four hour, slow dinner. Good restaurant, appetiser, entree, paced. Conversation.

I've never had a woman suggest I drank more than I should.

The specific question (and it is a serious question), is that a first meeting often involves a woman having zero, one, or at most two, drinks; while the same woman will drink more once a relationship is established.
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #9  April 11,2010, 1:38pm
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[quote=D_Lion;945903]The specific question (and it is a serious question), is that a first meeting often involves a woman having zero, one, or at most two, drinks; while the same woman will drink more once a relationship is established.[/quote] I never have more than three drinks in one evening, even when drinking at home. Over the course of one day - say bbq lunch followed by night out, I might get up to six drinks, but more likely I'd can it around four.
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #10  April 11,2010, 1:38pm
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D_Lion wrote :
while the same woman will drink more once a relationship is established.
Oh yes, then we'll share a glass of gin on the rocks in bed.
 
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