Lying, sincere, or just questionable logic?

I'd say it's wishful thinking on his part that someone who is a dedicated non-smoker might be willing to overlook his habit.

It would be more honest to call himself a smoker, but he might be having issues with getting quality matches. The other thing to consider is that, wanting to quit, I can imagine he doesn't want to be matched with someone who smokes...that would make it exponentially harder for him to quit.

That said, I do think the answers offered in the profile leave a lot to be desired in terms of flexibility. If you are a non-smoker but you wouldn't mind someone who enjoys an occasional cigar, or you don't smoke but you are okay with someone who does so out of the house - those options are not availabe.

So, was he wrong to misrepresent himself initially? Yep. But he cleared it up right away, which takes away in my mind any lingering idea that he might be a liar. He's just like most of us - he's trying to minimize the negative things and aim for someone who will support him in making better choices. But you also have the right to not be the one to provide that support.

As to lies I've been told, trust me when I tell you that you don't want to hear those. They range from marital status to illegal activity to a chronic history of infidelity and deception. I don't really think this falls into the same category. I view this more in the same vein as the guy who said he was emotionally available after ending a volatile and abusive relationship. He wasn't trying to decieve me. He was just over-optimistic.

I hit this passage:

"I'm currently a smoker who is trying to quit. .

"I'm currently a smoker who is trying to quit. There wasn't a selection available for "Trying to quit" so I chose "No" as I'm determined to quit."

I'm just curious what you think of this sort of fudging of facts. Do you think this is a deliberate lie to get more matches that might otherwise exclude a smoker, or that he's sincere but has some very faulty logic, or is this just a question of semantics in what he means by the word "try"?

I'm also curious what sorts of fudging you've run into with matches. I'm still relatively new to this whole scene and I'm hoping to learn from others' mistakes.

I don't see how this is lying, nor would I necessarily jump to the conclusion that he was insincere or using questionable logic.

For the sake of argument, let's say he is sincerely trying to quit smoking. Maybe he doesn't like smokers, including himself, and that's why he's trying to quit. If he says he's a smoker, I'm guessing he'll only be matched with other smokers. How will this ever help him reach his goal. This would seem to leave his only course of action as the one he actually took; Calling himself (perhaps wishfully) a non-smoker, but then clarifying it in his profile.