Anyone else felt skeptical?


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TXButtercup is offline TXButtercup Post #1  April 9,2010, 12:10pm
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This is somewhat sad to me, and I am probably going to get blasted, but I feel like I need to ask if others have experienced this.

I was contacted yesterday by a guy (not from eH) that sounds really good on screen. His profile reads very "down to earth" to me and paints some nice visuals (okay, you all already know I am sucker for words and I like the creative types). If I had seen the profile first, I likely would have contacted him - it just struck me like that.

So here's the kicker. He's age appropriate and his photos are great - a very nice looking guy. He's actually so handsome that I am somewhat skeptical and find myself wondering if those are really his photos.

Has anyone else experienced this? I feel silly, but after learning so much as I have on these boards in the last two months, it just seems.....I dunno...unlikely?

And, even sadder - this is the second time. The other time it was a guy from these very boards.

And for the curious, yes I wrote both of them back (I write back to anyone that puts in the effort because it just seems like the right thing to do).
Last edited by TXButtercup; April 9,2010 at 1:43pm.
 
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username_already_exists is offline username_already_exists Post #2  April 9,2010, 12:17pm
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ahhhh . . . looking the old gift horse in the mouth routine.

come on TBC, have a little faith in your fellow man. there is a Santa, an Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy. you just have to have faith.

come on try. you will make Tinkerbell most happy if you do.

nothing ventured. . . . well, you know the rest.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #3  April 9,2010, 12:28pm
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Sounds like you need to step away from these boards....or at the very least find yourself a giant grain of salt to go along with all the board reading.

If I were you I'd focus on the happy - a cute guy who writes well contacted you. Enjoy! Have fun! Be happy! Hope for the best not the worst.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #4  April 9,2010, 12:30pm
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TXButtercup wrote :
And, even sadder - this is the second time. The other time it was a guy from these very boards.

And for the curious, yes I wrote both of them back (I write back to anyone that puts in the effort because it just seems like the right thing to do).
So what happened with the one from these boards? Was it a too good to be true thing also?
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #5  April 9,2010, 12:33pm
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So these discussion boards have made you feel like there are no men out there who are what you're looking for and are attractive to you?

Oh dear.

I never got a profile that made me go "oh wow he's perfect" so can't say how I'd react to that.

Faint heart never won fair ... boyo?
 
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salbertarose is offline salbertarose Post #6  April 9,2010, 12:41pm
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There has been over the last year a phenome called "Nigerian dating scam". I have been contacted dozens of times from guys who have these perfect profile, handsome pictures. I would immediately get "red flags" after all, if a guy is that handsome, he can surely meet women in person, and wouldn't have to search out online. So I may exchange a few emails and discover that the english was very broken, grammar very bad, not at all consistent with the "professional" man in the picture. I usually report them as a dating scammer.

One time I did get contacted by someone who had such a profile, who actually seemed who he said he was. I eventually met him in a very public place to discover that he was about 10 years older than his photo, and about 50lbs heavier.

If it seems too good to be true, it usually is......
 
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TXButtercup is offline TXButtercup Post #7  April 9,2010, 12:47pm
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livenlearn wrote :
So what happened with the one from these boards? Was it a too good to be true thing also?

Can't say really. We emailed back and forth a few times and they were nice emails. His last email to me was about a week and a half ago. I was traveling and with family so it took me a couple of days to get back to him. So who knows.....

(I don't tend to get too upset if people I am just getting to know take a little longer to respond because stuff comes up and people have busy lives -- and if they never write again....oh well...)
 
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TXButtercup is offline TXButtercup Post #8  April 9,2010, 12:48pm
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DancingFool wrote :
Sounds like you need to step away from these boards....or at the very least find yourself a giant grain of salt to go along with all the board reading.

If I were you I'd focus on the happy - a cute guy who writes well contacted you. Enjoy! Have fun! Be happy! Hope for the best not the worst.
You speak the truth DF
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #9  April 9,2010, 12:51pm
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TXButtercup wrote :
Can't say really. We emailed back and forth a few times and they were nice emails. His last email to me was about a week and a half ago. I was traveling and with family so it took me a couple of days to get back to him. So who knows.....

(I don't tend to get too upset if people I am just getting to know take a little longer to respond because stuff comes up and people have busy lives -- and if they never write again....oh well...)
Just wondering if that experience might be causing the doubt on this one. Thats all. Otherwise I havent a clue. Sorry.
 
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TXButtercup is offline TXButtercup Post #10  April 9,2010, 1:24pm
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Sassafras54 wrote :
So these discussion boards have made you feel like there are no men out there who are what you're looking for and are attractive to you?

Oh dear.

I never got a profile that made me go "oh wow he's perfect" so can't say how I'd react to that.

Faint heart never won fair ... boyo?
I didn't say he was perfect No one is perfect after all, and the profile is but a tiny glimpse into the person.

To be fair to your first question, I think it is a combination of things:

1. There are a number of stories on these boards about people not being who they claim to be. Until I came here, I just figured people would be honest in their profile. I mean, I was, and isn't everyone planning to meet someone in person?

2. It is so rare that I am matched with someone physically attractive -none on EHarmony and only a couple on another site. So the men that I have found physically appealing have been ones who approached me in other places like here, or POF, or a financial forum to which I belong. (As you know from reading my other posts, this hasn't hindered me since attraction for me is not built on looks alone. I can usually find something physically attractive about a person that otherwise engages me.)

3. I didn't really realize until I started reading these boards how big a deal (really BIG deal) looks are to guys. That might sound strange, but despite having heard "guys are visual" before, the depth of that just didn't hit me until I saw so much and with details here. I can't deny that has had some impact on my self confidence in terms of dating.
 
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