computerfox is offline computerfox Post #1  April 6,2010, 4:00pm
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So I finally got to the talking on the phone stage with one of my matches on E/H and we were asking each other questions. He asked me what I was looking for and I described it. He said he wanted exclusive friends with benefits and work on a relationship later. Of course that doesn't fly with him and told him that I wanted to date someone that would eventually lead to long-term if things worked out. I'm not apalled by his question, just confused as to why someone on E/H would want this when there are cheaper ways (including a couple of freebie sites) to meet someone who could potentially be friends with benefits. Has this happened to anyone else on EH?
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #2  April 6,2010, 4:04pm
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maybe they thought that a high level of compatibility was referring to something else?

i would have asked him what the was wrong with him. but thats just me
 
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salbertarose is offline salbertarose Post #3  April 6,2010, 4:11pm
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That is exactly one of the first things I discovered here too. Many men on EH are looking for the same thing as on the free sites, they are just willing to pay for it. Thus the reason i'm no longer a member. Now don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that everyone here is looking for that, there are good people here, just as there are good people on the free sites....I was just surprised to see how many members on EH were just looking for FWB, and I wasn't prepared to continue paying to be matched up with such people.
 
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username_already_exists is offline username_already_exists Post #4  April 6,2010, 4:14pm
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computerfox wrote :
So I finally got to the talking on the phone stage with one of my matches on E/H and we were asking each other questions. He asked me what I was looking for and I described it. He said he wanted exclusive friends with benefits and work on a relationship later. Of course that doesn't fly with him and told him that I wanted to date someone that would eventually lead to long-term if things worked out. I'm not apalled by his question, just confused as to why someone on E/H would want this when there are cheaper ways (including a couple of freebie sites) to meet someone who could potentially be friends with benefits. Has this happened to anyone else on EH?
you might want to read a bit of thread on sex and dating, but at the risk of being called a "one trick pony" (again), what's wrong with a little open, honest and direct communication? why leave things to chance and assumption?

what he's looking for and what you're looking for aren't the same. that doesn't make either of you right or wrong. (regardless of what N thinks).

by asking the question and both of you providing honest answers, no more time was invested (or wasted, depending on your point of view) and you both can go forward and find a better match.

he was honest. no harm. no foul.

what would you have preferred? after you told him what you wanted, he would have said (enthusiastically) "me, too." and then immediately poofed.

on eHa you'll find people from all of the streams that make up the mainstream. don't set your expectations too high. afterall, it's still just internet dating.
 
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NYCpigeon is offline NYCpigeon Post #5  April 6,2010, 4:16pm
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I just had a match come in a few days ago where everything was in order. His profile was well-written, and thoughtful. He had a professional position and was nice looking. Then he stated under passions that he likes sailing, fishing, golfing, and mutual multiple orgasms.

Why? What lady will respond to this?
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #6  April 6,2010, 4:20pm
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NYCpigeon wrote :
I just had a match come in a few days ago where everything was in order. His profile was well-written, and thoughtful. He had a professional position and was nice looking. Then he stated under passions that he likes sailing, fishing, golfing, and mutual multiple orgasms.

Why? What lady will respond to this?
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #7  April 6,2010, 4:23pm

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salbertarose wrote :
That is exactly one of the first things I discovered here too. Many men on EH are looking for the same thing as on the free sites, they are just willing to pay for it. Thus the reason i'm no longer a member. Now don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that everyone here is looking for that, there are good people here, just as there are good people on the free sites....I was just surprised to see how many members on EH were just looking for FWB, and I wasn't prepared to continue paying to be matched up with such people.
Many men and women are looking for little more than FWB status..and IRL not just on dating sites. It's a fact of the era and daring now.

I wouldn't dump a dating site for this reason-it's quite easy to couch a profile to make yourself clear as to your hopes and expectations....of course then you won't get as many contacts, but they will know in advance that FWB isn't up for consideration.

And FWIW, when I was on eH last summer I had just a few overt FWB calls amongst the matches I met. No more percentage wise than men met live at social functions or introduced by friends. It's up to us to use the profile to say what we are looking for-after all, we get matched with the people that eH's computer say have similar wants, likes, hopes.....

May be the men were wording their profiles and answers to find 'nice girls' but that doesn't make sense as 'nice girls' would not be open to FWB statusand would shut 'em right down.....just thinking as I'm writing here.

I suggest to people who meet eH matches who are not looking for what the poster is looking for to review their profile and answers to questions-something is drawing those matches to you.
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #8  April 6,2010, 4:24pm

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NYCpigeon wrote :
and mutual multiple orgasms.

Why? What lady will respond to this?
 
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rocchio is offline rocchio Post #9  April 6,2010, 4:25pm
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Mokkesofie wrote :
I knew I could count on you, Mokkes! Bravo!
 
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theodisious is offline theodisious Post #10  April 6,2010, 4:28pm
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I would like to apologize for all the guys out there who are jerks... on behalf of all the nice guys who aren't, because the nice girls deserve an apology, and hope
 
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