WE SLEPT TOGETHER, and now he wants a relationship - I'm confused! I need advice please


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KT2010 is offline KT2010 Post #1  April 5,2010, 4:40pm
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After talking with a match for a little over a month - emails, texts, and phone calls- we decided to meet for the first time... this past week. We had a great date with lots of meaningful, open discussion and there was definitely chemistry between us. No kiss. I left wishing I had just kissed him! but I figure it was more mature not to and it would only make the second date more suspenseful.

Then came the second date, and right away...sparks were flying. After a couple drinks in and way-too-many-to-count flirty smiles exchanged, I knew that kiss was going to happen. The night turned into us heading back to "watch a movie". I immediately felt like I was in high school again, but to be honest, I was having fun and so was he. One thing led to the other- a botta bing botta boom- we had sex. We both hadn't expected it, but it happened. The chemistry is strong, but somewhere in the middle of it all, I thought to myself 'well, maybe this isn't the man I'm going to marry, just go with it'. (For the record, we were safe) And then, afterwards, when we were in cuddle mode, he proposed that we be exclusive. Boyfriend and girlfriend. That we could really make this work.

And he has called since. Hoping that I didn't regret it.

Not what I was expecting - at all!

I typically wait for months before sleeping with a boyfriend. This whole process I feel had propelled me forward in ways I am very unfamiliar with. I've only been on the site for a couple months.

I don't regret what I did, I'm just thrown off by the situation. He hasn't been the "relationship type" in the past, but expressed he wants to be, saying he hasn't met the right woman (until now?). I have very much been the relationship person, and this whole experience is a little shocking and very new. He's smart, inquisitive, attractive, kind, and talented. I'm confident, happy, open minded and adventurous. Am I nuts? Is he? Is this perfect?

Any advice out there? I would love a man's perspective on this. And a woman's too if she has any similar situations. Can this work out? Are things going way too fast? Or should I stop questioning and go with it?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  April 5,2010, 4:45pm
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Well, I wouldn't have been so lame to call and ask if she regretted it (geez!)

Otherwise, you're fine.

Just continue going out, seeing each other, etc.

Personally, I would stop meeting / looking for others at this point (hopefully he will do the same; it is a bit aggressive, but you could demand it of him.)

Don't forget that sex is only sex - not any reason to conclude that further progress in your relationship will occur, or an excuse to ignore / overlook the normal process of investigating for compatibility.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #3  April 5,2010, 4:54pm
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Where's Lizzie
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  April 5,2010, 4:54pm
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Oh, and for all the Nervous Nellies who think you can't sleep with a fine Man, see, SEE?! Proof !!!
 
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ThePriestess is online now ThePriestess Post #5  April 5,2010, 4:56pm
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Y'
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #6  April 5,2010, 4:58pm
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she doesnt want a relationship with him.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #7  April 5,2010, 4:59pm
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ThePriestess wrote :
Y'
what?
 
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TXButtercup is offline TXButtercup Post #8  April 5,2010, 5:05pm
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*facepalm*

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Definitely not the type of post I have seen before after a situation such as you describe, but good for you if this is what you want!

The Frogman gives good advice which is harder for someone like me to keep top of mind, so good reminder:
Don't forget that sex is only sex - not any reason to conclude that further progress in your relationship will occur, or an excuse to ignore / overlook the normal process of investigating for compatibility.
Last edited by TXButtercup; April 5,2010 at 5:16pm. Reason: how sad is it that I have only been on these boards two months and I first figured it was a joke from the title
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  April 5,2010, 5:14pm
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Very curious, indeed.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #10  April 5,2010, 5:16pm
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It never ceases to amaze me what confuses people.

You went out with hin, slept with him, have strong chemistry, and he wants a relationship. That all seems pretty clear and normal. What exactly is to be confused about?
 
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