behindblueeyes is offline behindblueeyes Post #1  April 5,2010, 2:43pm
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So I dated a Guy for about 2 months. Things were going very well though we never really got physical. We took the time to get to know each other personally and emotionally first which was new for me, but seemed to be spring very well. We talked openly about where things were going with us, and he said that he was happy with where we were, but was not ready for a relationship yet and would like to keep things where they are for now. I was fine with this. Taking things slow is a little foreign to me, but nice.

So everything was on track. We were seeing each other as much as our schedules allowed, and talked for hours at a time every day.

Then suddenly he tells me he's seeing someone else. He said he reconciled with an ex and seeing where it goes was something he had to do. He was very nice about it, and still wants to stay friends. He said some dry sweet things about me and made it clear he wants to keep me in his life.

Since then, we have been talking and it seems as though he is serious about being friends. I'm not sure what I want at this point, and don't know what to do.

Any advice you can give would be a big help. Thanks!
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #2  April 5,2010, 2:45pm
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he wants to keep you in his life as a backup in case the thing with his ex doesnt work.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #3  April 5,2010, 2:46pm
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My guess is he reconciled with an ex, as he said. I've had that happen to me- not much you can do about it except let the person go.

Do you have a reason to doubt what he told you?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  April 5,2010, 2:51pm
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Would this person be one with whom you could be friends if there was not any possible romantic connection, now or in the future?

If yes, then I don't immediately see any reason to cease contact (assuming you can keep your emotions from getting out of control.)

If no, then I would not bother. By going back to an ex, he ended your relationship.

With that, if he had previously agreed to be exclusive, that would then be a choice that I would not find acceptable in a friend.
 
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behindblueeyes is offline behindblueeyes Post #5  April 5,2010, 2:57pm
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Well I have no reasons to doubt him. He's probably the only Guy I've dated who was totally honest with me that I trust...I just don't know how to be his friend. I do want him in my life. We got really close over the past couple months and have leaned on each other through some difficult times. I just don't know how to be friends when I care so much more than that.
 
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newbie40something is offline newbie40something Post #6  April 5,2010, 3:03pm
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You're feelings are much more than friendship, aren't they?

You want more.

I think you would always be feeling that and hurting a little about it.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #7  April 5,2010, 3:07pm
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behindblueeyes wrote :
Then suddenly he tells me he's seeing someone else. He said he reconciled with an ex and seeing where it goes was something he had to do. He was very nice about it, and still wants to stay friends. He said some dry sweet things about me and made it clear he wants to keep me in his life.

Since then, we have been talking and it seems as though he is serious about being friends. I'm not sure what I want at this point, and don't know what to do.

Any advice you can give would be a big help. Thanks!
You will be strung along.
Personally, I would let him go so I could meet the right person and not have my time taken up by "what might be".
But its your life, your the one who will have to live with it. And the possability he will do this again in the future if he and his ex dont work out.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #8  April 5,2010, 3:10pm
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wrote :
Hello all...im new the boards...but a little unsure of what else to do

I've been dating this Guy I met online. We have gone out five times now with fairly pleasant results. We talk almost every night. The problem is he hasn't even kissed me yet. He will hug me every time our date is over and sometimes while on the date. He is a complete gentleman. He holds doors...he pays...all o the stereotypical things a Guy does on a date. We had a discussion about it and he basically said that at this point all forms of affection scare him and he's just not ready for more but when he is im exactly what he's looking for. He also said thar he wants to take things slow because each step further we take should be special and mean something. Im concerned because this really isn't typical Guy behavior and im afraid he might just be trying to brush me off...any opinions...I appreciate any help you all can give. - March 24th, 2010, 02:06 pm
I'm sorry, but is this the same guy?

I ask only because look at the part that I bolded. I suggest that this guy was not as up front with you as you think he was being. I wanted to point it out because I think that you think he is a better than he might be in reality. Just something to ponder.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #9  April 5,2010, 3:17pm
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Nanette wrote :
I'm sorry, but is this the same guy?

I ask only because look at the part that I bolded. I suggest that this guy was not as up front with you as you think he was being. I wanted to point it out because I think that you think he is a better than he might be in reality. Just something to ponder.
Good catch on that one Nanette.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #10  April 5,2010, 3:20pm
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I feel kinda bad pointing it out, but I just want her to see the guy for who he is if it actually is the same guy.

Sometimes its difficult to see on our own :/
 
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