just_cause is offline just_cause Post #1  April 4,2010, 9:39pm
just_cause's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Apr 2010

Posts: 4

See profile

hello everyone, i hope you can help me as i'm confused by this situation.

i have had 6 outings with a guy over the last 3 months. we both have very busy work schedules with out-of-country travel so dates are a bit further between than normal. i think there is chemistry but i have not gotten a kiss. we are now at a weird good-bye hug stage.

i'm not sure what to do but want to see if there is some thing there. i'm not into public displays of affection and most of our dates have been 'action' dates (roller blading, hiking, dog walking, movies, etc) so they have been very busy publically so maybe he picked up that vibe? but if he didnt think i was interested in him he would stop calling so there seems to be something there.

any advice?
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  April 5,2010, 9:54am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

just_cause wrote :
hello everyone, i hope you can help me as i'm confused by this situation.

i have had 6 outings with a guy over the last 3 months. we both have very busy work schedules with out-of-country travel so dates are a bit further between than normal. i think there is chemistry but i have not gotten a kiss. we are now at a weird good-bye hug stage.

i'm not sure what to do but want to see if there is some thing there. i'm not into public displays of affection and most of our dates have been 'action' dates (roller blading, hiking, dog walking, movies, etc) so they have been very busy publically so maybe he picked up that vibe? but if he didnt think i was interested in him he would stop calling so there seems to be something there.

any advice?
Duplicate post.
 
  Reply With Quote
saturated is offline saturated Post #3  April 5,2010, 10:04am
saturated's Avatar

New again..........

Pacesetter

Joined: Jan 2010

florida

Posts: 430

See profile

just_cause wrote :
hello everyone, i hope you can help me as i'm confused by this situation.

i have had 6 outings with a guy over the last 3 months. we both have very busy work schedules with out-of-country travel so dates are a bit further between than normal. i think there is chemistry but i have not gotten a kiss. we are now at a weird good-bye hug stage.

i'm not sure what to do but want to see if there is some thing there. i'm not into public displays of affection and most of our dates have been 'action' dates (roller blading, hiking, dog walking, movies, etc) so they have been very busy publically so maybe he picked up that vibe? but if he didnt think i was interested in him he would stop calling so there seems to be something there.

any advice?
Has he ever ask you to be more than a mere friend to you? Has he grab at least your hand in a funny way? What make you think that he wants more than somebody to go out with? Maybe he is confused and looking for an answer within himself, give him time and lets see.
 
  Reply With Quote
mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #4  April 5,2010, 10:18am
mrflyer's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2009

my computer

Posts: 2,948

See profile

Have you tried to kiss him or indicated you want to be kissed? Maybe he's not good at reading women's signals, or maybe he takes a long time to get physical. Or maybe he just sees you as a friend.

I suggest trying to kiss him or asking him if he sees you as more than a friend.

Did he initiate all the outings?
 
  Reply With Quote
Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #5  April 5,2010, 11:25am
Sassafras54's Avatar

Your Community Coordinator

Moderator

Joined: Oct 2009

San Pedro, CA

Posts: 9,076

See profile

Maybe you need a date that's not so public? So there's an opportunity for non-PDA affection?

And ... you can initiate a kiss! See what happens.
 
  Reply With Quote
TXButtercup is offline TXButtercup Post #6  April 5,2010, 11:37am
TXButtercup's Avatar

*facepalm*

Veteran

Joined: Feb 2010

Texas

Posts: 1,079

See profile

Your outings sound great; it's fun to do activities together like hiking and dog walking in the park. However, it isn't private.

You asked if he was sensing that you don't like PDA. You also mention the hugs are awkward. I have been assured over and over that men indeed can not read minds, however, even the least aware can usually tell some body language signs and I am guessing yours is telling him you don't feel comfortable touching in public.

The good news is it sounds like you want to kiss him

Now this is coming from a person that isn't shy, so I would initiate either the kiss or some other physical contact to see if he wanted that kiss too. And I wouldn't care if it was in public. But for you, I am guessing that wouldn't be very comfortable, so see if you can arrange some private time for at least part of an upcoming date -- or maybe you could cook together in one of your homes. Then perhaps both of you would feel more comfortable about taking that next step.
 
  Reply With Quote
just_cause is offline just_cause Post #7  April 5,2010, 6:43pm
just_cause's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Apr 2010

Posts: 4

See profile

thanks for the suggestions. sorry for the duplicate post. when i posted the first time there was an error and it did not show up. So i reposted trying to remember how i phrased things the first time around!

i will suggest a different outing next time. he has already stated that the next date should be a movie night at either of our places. my friends give me conflicting advice so i thought a neutral, third party would help!

i'm not really an initiator. i also realize that he was giving me opportunities to let him help - offering his hand on walks, advice on different things etc and that i did decline them for the most part (sub-consciously, looking back i see my errors!) i'm so used to being independent i dont realize opportunities when they come along. i will really try to think about that next time.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayhawkgirl is offline jayhawkgirl Post #8  April 6,2010, 2:34am
jayhawkgirl's Avatar

is back to square one

Pacesetter

Joined: Oct 2008

Posts: 405

See profile

Kiss him already!
 
  Reply With Quote
notyet is offline notyet Post #9  April 6,2010, 8:40am
notyet's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Nov 2008

Posts: 5,276

See profile

i agree with the ladies above- if you want to kiss him, kiss him already.

and i understand your hesitancy about public displays of affection. but could you not at least initiate holding hands while you two are walking/hiking/rollerblading?
just_cause wrote :
...i'm not really an initiator...
and then there is this point. someone must be the initiator. if everyone sits back and attempts to let the other step up, often nothing happens. if you want something, get it. don't wait for the him to read your mind. and if he is shy- as i once was- do not expect him to reach out his hand again if you have already refused it. let him know what you want. take his hand. and then hold on to it.

good luck!
Last edited by notyet; April 6,2010 at 8:45am. Reason: added content
 
  Reply With Quote
tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #10  April 6,2010, 8:56am
tweet37's Avatar

has all the tools and can........satisfy

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2008

New Jersey

Posts: 7,604

See profile

mrflyer wrote :
Have you tried to kiss him...

I suggest trying to kiss him...
Sassafras54 wrote :
And ... you can initiate a kiss! See what happens.
jayhawkgirl wrote :
Kiss him already!
notyet wrote :
i agree with the ladies above- if you want to kiss him, kiss him already.
I hate to be redundant but...umm...these folks are right.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Women "Qualifying" a Man on the Phone | Dating | Is there something wrong? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Guys please help.....I'm SO confused... kmc1977 Dating 25 January 20,2012 6:55pm
Closure after a breakup????? yoga_gal Dating 62 July 22,2011 3:10pm
Women confuse me Atlguy38 Dating 56 June 13,2011 3:31pm
Miles apart and confused askingsomething Relationships 3 March 7,2010 12:46pm
Very confused Mewlon Relationships 10 January 17,2010 2:04pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“but isnt' "comedy" subjective?” –  richey

Join the “I think I blew it...” discussion

“"So, at what point did you decide I was only going to be a one-date kind of guy?" Hi Carole, I am late to this thread. Thanks for such an interesting topic! My initial reaction was to think ... ” –  SearchingHoping

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“A little tough love... The lesson here: date married men at your own peril. The man was married when YOU began a relationship with him! You keep calling him divorced. Not when you were with him. Once ... ” –  emma_hazards

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“Thanks, DancingFool!!!!! I deleted all but 2 pics. I kept the 2 most recent pics. I will work on updating pics soon, hopefully this weekend. Thanks! Suzanne” –  SuzanneScorpio

Join the “Photo Review” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 5:20pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0