trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #11  March 20,2010, 6:47pm

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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D_Lion wrote :
Not bragging effectively is not the same as not bragging.
It isn't a double negative. To say I'm not a not bragger is a double negative (and senseless) but that's not what he said and D's not, not right on this (which is a double negative for comparative purposes).

Anyway just wanted to add that I'm a terrible bragger and still a loser magnet. Possibly not helpful but I haven't got no other advice!

(Did you see what I did there?)
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #12  March 20,2010, 6:53pm
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Now that that's out of the way ...

To the OP:

I think your manner of writing, if it is replicated in your profile, is definitely going to cause good men to skip right over you.

It is a mistake to list attributes which should be domenstrated: intelligence and humor are the two biggest offenders, here. I suggest you remove this from any profile narrative, and instead convey these using the tone and content of your writing.

Same for any appearance: just let your photos speak to this issue.

As to having a child, yes, that will cause some men to close you. In my view, the way to manage this (as best as is possible) is by disclosing the fact in the "have children?" part of the data-entry, and accepting that fewer men will write you, but that those who do ought to be accepting. (One way to bias this a bit in your favor would be by including interests which a family-oriented man might favor.)

As far as "being intimidating to men" goes, this is a common conceit, yet as rare in reality as the Loch Ness Monster.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #13  March 20,2010, 6:58pm
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trixie1868 wrote :
(Did you see what I did there?)

Confuse us?
 
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Wootz is offline Wootz Post #14  March 20,2010, 6:59pm
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Brainsandbeauty, you’ve got a couple of people here thinking you are bragging. I believe that’s simply because the only information we have so far is you telling us these things when we haven’t had the opportunity to see you showing us those things. It is easy for people to say anything at all on the internet. If you’ve spent some time on here, you’ve probably seen it- people who say one thing about themselves, but prove the opposite by their actions. I am not saying this is you.

[COLOR=black]I *am* saying we don’t have enough information to discern whether this is true or not, so there is that element of skepticism. Okay, that’s enough of me talking about that.
 
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NYCpigeon is offline NYCpigeon Post #15  March 20,2010, 7:05pm
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brainsandbeauty wrote :
In love, of course.

I will be honest: I'm beautiful and educated. I don't brag, complain, or have mood swings. I'm a perfect balance of maturity and fun. I have a nice figure and keep in shape. I have one daughter and put alot of time and effort into being a great mom to her. I am hardworking and can make just about anyone laugh. I like sports and shopping. No std's, drug free, no addictions, ect. Healthy (emotionally, mentally, ect)

But I'm cursed. Even my family and friends think/say so. I always wind up with the lowest or the lowest males. One first date revealed that it was "totally ok" that I had a kid because he "had the herp- so we're even". I laugh about it now and thank goodness I didn't drink after him or anything! This is just one example of many.

I am picky. I want a man with compassion, patience, morals, values, fun, adventure, sexy, fit, handsome, and wants to be a family man.

Perhaps it is the fact that I'm a mother, that I am intimidating? or that I can be shy sometimes. I am pretty confident. My best theory is that I am meant for one person alone and I just have to go on my merry way until we stumble across each other. That Fate won't let others work because I'm meant for one particular man alone.

....or I could just be cursed. : )
Join the club.
 
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Wootz is offline Wootz Post #16  March 20,2010, 7:15pm
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NYCpigeon wrote :
Join the club.
^ see!

The curse is spreading like the plague! Quick, call the CDC, Hooters, Chip'n'Dales, *somebody!*

*grin*
 
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sugar1967 is offline sugar1967 Post #17  March 20,2010, 7:23pm
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when my girlfriend and i go for a walk in the eveningwe always dicuss these question. We are attractive woman but how do you really go about finding that nice guy i tried parties, work, friends, bars, malls and shopping movies and last but not least church. I often wonderwhat i have done so wrong to be alone this long. I have had a relationship on/off for the last 4 years I finally made thebreak on valentines day. I was tired of trying to make something work that wasnt goin to work I cant change him.obviously he dont want a commitiment he wants a sexual relationship well he can find that elsewhere. he dont need me. Thats about all we have in common. nothing else not once has he been there for me nor has be bought me anything so much as acard for holiday. like i said my girlfriend and i are destined to be alone
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #18  March 20,2010, 7:39pm
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brainsandbeauty wrote :
I will be honest: I'm beautiful and educated. I don't brag, complain, or have mood swings. I'm a perfect balance of maturity and fun. I have a nice figure and keep in shape. I have one daughter and put alot of time and effort into being a great mom to her. I am hardworking and can make just about anyone laugh. I like sports and shopping. No std's, drug free, no addictions, ect. Healthy (emotionally, mentally, ect)
You don't brag? I couldn't tell, when you tell us how beautiful and wonderful you are.

Maybe some humility would do you good.
 
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trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #19  March 20,2010, 7:42pm

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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D_Lion wrote :
.It is a mistake to list attributes which should be domenstrated: intelligence and humor are the two biggest offenders, here. I suggest you remove this from any profile narrative, and instead convey these using the tone and content of your writing.
I actually agree with this Froggie. It is a ridiculous quirk of my own filtering system that men who state a good sense of humour or that they're funny, kind of turns me off and I love a funny man more than I love cake. A good sense of humour has always seemed a lame quality to me, meaning as it does "I can tell when something funny has been said" - not exactly a Mensa candidate. To say that you are funny seems absurdly boastful. You should just be funny if that's the case.

It's like when someone posts a photo and then describes themselves as 'good looking' or whatever - it is for the profile reader to decide.

No help to the OP of course, but fascinating to me.
 
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robv_la is offline robv_la Post #20  March 21,2010, 3:02am
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From the OP's post, it sounds like she does brag...about her look and her brains.

There's a different between having healthy self confidence and having an inflated ego.

This might be the source of dating issues, just saying.
 
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