Worst date EVER!! Great emails = Bad date!


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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #1  March 15,2010, 8:35pm
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Just had to vent... I didn't know a date could be so bad. Boring, misrepresented... and I had my nails done and everything !

Okay, that does it. I am now convinced that if you have good... no, great email exchanges, that this equates to the guy having great writing skills, but does NOT equate to good conversation/communication skills. And is definitely NO indication of what the in-person chemsistry is going to be. OMG!! Bad, bad, bad.

There has to be a correlation to good emailing and bad in-person. It can't just be me?!
 
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VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #2  March 15,2010, 8:38pm
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Happens to everyone. Hopefully you didn't spend a whole lot of time emailing before you met. Next!

I'm communicating with a good writer now so I hope things turn out differently for me.
 
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cardguy is offline cardguy Post #3  March 15,2010, 8:40pm
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Quite the reverse I'd say. However, correlations are just that: general trends. There are going to be some guys that are great communicators over email and lousy in person and vice versa.
 
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StuckOnYou is offline StuckOnYou Post #4  March 15,2010, 8:42pm
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jussmile wrote :
/...snip/
There has to be a correlation to good emailing and bad in-person. It can't just be me?!
No jussmile, it's just you...



Just teasin'...
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #5  March 15,2010, 8:48pm
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Sorry about your date Jusmile, Did you speak on the phone prior to meeting?

This why I never set up a first meet in email.
 
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peg099 is offline peg099 Post #6  March 15,2010, 8:55pm
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I had an experience like that years ago when I was briefly on a dating site. The guy was incredibly witty and articulate in email, but the biggest dud ever in person.

It's basically one of the reasons I generally prefer to meet sooner rather than later. Some people come across much better or worse in email than they do in person, and ultimately, it's how they are in person that matters most.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #7  March 15,2010, 8:59pm
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Did you talk on the phone prior to meeting?

Remember at the first date there are always bundles of nerves. If the conversations were good prior with email and talking on the phone, maybe you should give them a second date to see what happens.
 
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AngelaH is offline AngelaH Post #8  March 15,2010, 9:38pm
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peg099 wrote :
I had an experience like that years ago when I was briefly on a dating site. The guy was incredibly witty and articulate in email, but the biggest dud ever in person.

It's basically one of the reasons I generally prefer to meet sooner rather than later. Some people come across much better or worse in email than they do in person, and ultimately, it's how they are in person that matters most.
I totally agree! I am looking for a life-long partner, not an email buddy. So, if their CV looks ok (right age group, correct gender, similar interests, etc) and they don't obviously sound like an axe murderer or something, I want to meet them pronto and make sure they truly are who they say they are and then start to get a sense of the chemistry.

Of course, like others have said, that first meeting can be a little nerve-racking so a little understanding and a good sense of humour always helps.

Have I told you about the time I got so animated during a first date that I knocked a HOT cup of coffee into the gent's lap? And to add insult to injury, it was HIS cup. Sigh. And, of course, this happened in the dead of winter in Canada. So, not only was his favorite muscle a little burned, not only did he have a HUGE wet-spot on his lap, not only did he lose his cup of coffee, but when he walked outside, his pants froze!


(Yes, we did have a second date. Thanks GOD he had a sense of humour. If we ever did become a couple, I'm sure this would be one of many funny stories we'd laugh about.)

AngelaH
 
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Jesisi is offline Jesisi Post #9  March 15,2010, 9:42pm
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A friend told me this, and some people I know do this as well when communicating online, they run their emails through other people prior to sending them. I don't do this, because I think that they way I am will come through more honestly if I do the typing myself; but this is just another layer of complexity (and potential dishonesty) that can arise with online dating!

That said, as ami1uwant pointed out, it is possible that he was nervous, and therefore, not as articulate. It is up to you to decide whether a second chance is merited in this case.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #10  March 15,2010, 9:47pm
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So, where are the juicy details Jussmile?
 
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