Faraday is online now Faraday Post #1  March 6,2010, 4:53pm
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So, I have a match that I've been talking to on the phone for the last few weeks (he lives quite far away- we're trying to figure out how to meet up)...he's kind, smart, articulate...quite accomplished really (and I know he is those things because we're also facebook friends and I've looked back through his wall and I believe what he tells me to be true). I'm impressed at his interests...all in all, a super guy...he calls often and when he says he's going to.

I really like him...here's the but....he doesn't ask about me. He talks about his interests, his weekend, the stuff he's doing but very rarely asks about me (on the phone or text or facebook)...so I'm left feeling like I'm not sure if he's interested in me or just having someone to talk to....I don't know if he's nervous or lacking in confidence (that was my initial thought) or if he's just one of those people...And I'm left wondering if this is something he'll outgrow because he is young (mid twenties) or if he'll always be like this...or if he is over compensating for an insecurity. Thoughts?
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #2  March 6,2010, 4:56pm
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Meet him. All the other stuff is just preliminaries. You can't know who he is until you spend time in his company.

Never expect someone to outgrow something. You can, to some extent, influence behavior, but you cannot go in expecting it to change.

I wouldn't worry too much about him not asking right now. You're both sharing things about yourselves. He's doing his share of that. If you meet, and date, and he still doesn't seem to care about whether you had a nice time or whether you got home safe, that's the time to be concerned.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #3  March 6,2010, 4:59pm
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He might be trying to impress you. If he's as smart as you say, he's getting information about you from your interactions.
 
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yoga_gal is offline yoga_gal Post #4  March 6,2010, 5:00pm
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Yes, meet him and you should get a better idea in person. Keep in mind that sometimes it takes more than one date to size someone up. The really bad ones can be eliminated right away but some character traits aren't revealed until later on.

Something to keep in mind is that some people assume you are like them and will give information without being prompted. This man may be the same.

Best of luck
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #5  March 6,2010, 5:36pm
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Are you interesting?

When I don't ask a woman questions, it is because she hasn't shown any sign of having any acheivements I'm likely to be interested in.
 
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Faraday is online now Faraday Post #6  March 6,2010, 5:45pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Are you interesting?

When I don't ask a woman questions, it is because she hasn't shown any sign of having any acheivements I'm likely to be interested in.
Would you keep phoning if she wasn't interesting? (Just out of curiousity)
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #7  March 6,2010, 5:51pm
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There are reasons other than intelluctual interest to see a woman. (For that matter, I'm not sure how important interest is in a relationship, anyway ...)

Lifestyle, goals, values, count for a lot. Getting along, feeling content; and then, there is the sex.
 
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Faraday is online now Faraday Post #8  March 6,2010, 6:05pm
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D_Lion wrote :
There are reasons other than intelluctual interest to see a woman. (For that matter, I'm not sure how important interest is in a relationship, anyway ...)

Lifestyle, goals, values, count for a lot. Getting along, feeling content; and then, there is the sex.
18 hour drive or $700 dollar flight so probably not that.

We won't be meeting for at least a month- probably longer- he's in school (so on a fiscal and time budget) and because I have my own business I don't get time off.

We have a lot of things in common (goals, children, values, lifestyle)...and I think I'm an interesting girl for the most part (my friends and family think so anyway)

He has said I'm the most interesting girl he's spoken with on eh (but who knows that that means on here!)

So I don't know if I should mention to him that it is bothering me, wait it out to see what happens or assume the worst. I'd hate for him to make the kind of sacrfice to come up here if I wasn't sure I wanted to meet him...I mean, other than this issue, I think he's quite wonderful so I don't know.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #9  March 6,2010, 6:20pm
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It may be he simply isn't keen on asking questions until he can do so in person?
 
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VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #10  March 6,2010, 6:31pm
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Maybe you are offering the information and he doesn't feel the need to ask.

I don't think he'd be calling if he wasn't interested.
 
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