Anyone else hate phone dates?


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MisterArrogant is offline MisterArrogant Post #1  February 24,2010, 11:12am
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I've got one tonight. She skipped the emailing and just gave me her phone number straight out. I usually try to build a rapport over email, skip the phone, and just meet in person. I really hate phone dates with people I don't know. Hate them with a passion.

A three second pause in the conversation feels like an eternity since that's the only thing you have to focus on. I'm great for in-person and email, but with the phone dates I feel like a self-conscious, awkward teenager. Blarrgh...
 
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Daphnie is offline Daphnie Post #2  February 24,2010, 11:23am
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Yeah, I am with you. I want to find cues from the other person's facial expression and body language to know if it's okay to continue with this topic or I should switch to something else.

The funny thing is, my current boyfriend is not good at making phone conversations either. I think the longest call between us lasts no more than 3 minutes.
Last edited by Daphnie; February 24,2010 at 11:43am.
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #3  February 24,2010, 11:26am
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Think of it as a call to set up the date , rather than the date itself, Keep it brief, saying: "when we meet I'll tell you about..." You can tell a lot from the voice
MisterArrogant wrote :
I've got one tonight. She skipped the emailing and just gave me her phone number straight out. I usually try to build a rapport over email, skip the phone, and just meet in person. I really hate phone dates with people I don't know. Hate them with a passion.
A three second pause in the conversation feels like an eternity since that's the only thing you have to focus on. I'm great for in-person and email, but with the phone dates I feel like a self-conscious, awkward teenager. Blarrgh...
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #4  February 24,2010, 11:29am
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I prefer to speak with a match prior to meeting, I feel I can tell if I am going to get along with this person or not. If she can't hold a 15 minute phone conversation, IME that doesn't change once we meet.

Maybe you just need to take a different approach. First off, don't call it a date! (dates last for hours) Trying keeping the first phone call relatively short. Don't turn it into a interview and twenty questions. Keep the conversation light by selecting non-dating topics that you both possibly share...Then pop the question!
 
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cardguy is offline cardguy Post #5  February 24,2010, 11:40am
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You're not alone, I'm not a big phone person either. To me, a phone conversation requires all of the on your feet thinking of a face to face conversation without any of the body language cues...not always the best combination for great flowing conversation, so I also prefer either email or face-to-face conversation, at least when it comes to someone that I don't know very well.
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #6  February 24,2010, 11:42am
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Phone call first... a no, no for me. In fact, I don't even like a phone call before meeting the person. Then, after that, phone is completely fine. Something about talking on the phone to someone I've never seen, can't place the eyes with the voice, can't imagine the facial expression... not to mention, phone calls are very personal for me, and I'd rather keep it casual through email until we've met and figured there is something there.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #7  February 24,2010, 11:44am
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TrekRyder10 wrote :
I prefer to speak with a match prior to meeting, I feel I can tell if I am going to get along with this person or not. If she can't hold a 15 minute phone conversation, IME that doesn't change once we meet.

Maybe you just need to take a different approach. First off, don't call it a date! (dates last for hours) Trying keeping the first phone call relatively short. Don't turn it into a interview and twenty questions. Keep the conversation light by selecting non-dating topics that you both possibly share...Then pop the question!
I agree with this. I've never heard of a phone date and would not consider a phone call to be a date. A date is in person.

Before I call I like to look at the person's profile and the messages we've sent each other, to find a few things to ask about. I also find it helpful to have their profile open while talking to them. I wish eharmony had a feature where I could add notes (viewable only by me) to a match to keep track of things.
Last edited by mrflyer; February 24,2010 at 11:48am.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #8  February 24,2010, 12:05pm
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I've never called it a "phone date" but that initial conversation is critical. It can make or break whether or not I want to meet someone.
 
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lizzy1424 is offline lizzy1424 Post #9  February 24,2010, 12:34pm
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My take on "phone dates" is a bit different...we were matched 5 months ago and he travels quite a bit (in India for 20 days this month). We set up SKYPE and "visit" every couple of days, but I am finding it hard to stay connected.
 
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Spumone is offline Spumone Post #10  February 24,2010, 1:09pm
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think)
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