Where does instant messaging fit in your dating life?


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2clueless is offline 2clueless Post #1  February 21,2010, 12:07am
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As a writer who spends 8 hours plus per day at the computer for work then probably another hour or so for fun, I am reluctant to get into yet another thing to keep me on the keyboard and computer chair. Is Instant Messaging a helpful tool in the online dating world?
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #2  February 21,2010, 12:20am
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IMing i way of initially chatting with someone before talking on the phone and you can get a feel of their communication style. Just like with emails if the convo is pretty dead, a phone convo is likely to be dead too.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  February 21,2010, 4:11am
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Never used anything other than e-mail, phone, and in-person - and I prefer to skip the phone.

Feel free to push back, ask for the method you prefer.

Personally, I favor meeting sooner, anyway.
 
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ratedPG is offline ratedPG Post #4  February 21,2010, 4:28am
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I use IMing...a LOT. As a woman who loves words...their nuances and usages...when IMing, I can tell immediately if I would be able to carry on a conversation with this person in real life. If I am sending at my normal pace, (which is fairly steady), and he can not keep up...or he has to ask me to clarify what I've just said, then I know it's pointless to to go much further. I slip in references to things I like...use french to see if I stump them, and...basically, have a whole bag of things I use. All of this is because I honestly want to be able to communicate with someone...not just sit there sending emoticons and the like back and forth...(though I DO love those things!)
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #5  February 21,2010, 4:34am
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I'll send a picture with a quick note now and then. Otherwise, in a relationship, I prefer my hands on something other than a keyboard
2clueless wrote :
As a writer who spends 8 hours plus per day at the computer for work then probably another hour or so for fun, I am reluctant to get into yet another thing to keep me on the keyboard and computer chair. Is Instant Messaging a helpful tool in the online dating world?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #6  February 21,2010, 4:49am
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ratedPG wrote :
If I am sending at my normal pace, (which is fairly steady), and he can not keep up...

Now you are measuring the speed at which a potential partner can type, and possibly his care to ensure his spelling and grammar are proper; that can be ignorance, but it can also be memory and keyboard skill.

As a person seeking a relationship, that, per se, is not a criteria I would screen on.

At my age (37), when I was in school boys still tended to learn to repair cars, and girls learned to type.
 
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ratedPG is offline ratedPG Post #7  February 21,2010, 4:55am
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D_Lion wrote :
Now you are measuring the speed at which a potential partner can type, and possibly his care to ensure his spelling and grammar are proper; that can be ignorance, but it can also be memory and keyboard skill.

As a person seeking a relationship, that, per se, is not a criteria I would screen on.

At my age (37), when I was in school boys still tended to learn to repair cars, and girls learned to type.
Well, Mr. Lion...as I use IM the same way I use real time conversation...why would this be a problem? I do NOT count spelling, as I am one of the WORST offenders when it comes to fat fingering! However, if I comment on a current event, and the response I get is..."Huh?"...this COULD be a telltale sign.
At MY age, back in school, those lines were even MORE delineated, sir...I am 48. I took two years of typing in high school, and I STILL use the hunt and peck method! Do I make allowances? Yes, I do. Do I try NOT to make generalizations...Yes! But if I have IM'd with someone for oh...say...30-60 minutes...and it had been stilted, disjointed, and hard to understand...chances are good that's how a conversation would be in real life. This is MY experience only, and I certainly would not try to say everyone should do it this way. It's just my own personal preference, sir.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #8  February 21,2010, 4:57am
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this reminds me that i need to uninstall my msn messenger

iming is for annoying random people at work when you are bored
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #9  February 21,2010, 5:01am
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ratedPG wrote :
However, if I comment on a current event, and the response I get is..."Huh?"...

Agree with this.

Now, If I said I would save that or any other complex or thoughtful conversation for an in-person meeting, what is your reaction?
 
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ratedPG is offline ratedPG Post #10  February 21,2010, 5:06am
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D_Lion wrote :
Agree with this.

Now, If I said I would save that or any other complex or thoughtful conversation for an in-person meeting, what is your reaction?
My reaction is...fine, sir. As long as we can keep a flow going with small talk and the like...i.e., finding out the 'little' things about each other, then I understand that once we meet in person, (and I prefer this sooner rather than later!), the deeper things will naturally roll to the surface and be discussed. Fair enough?
 
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