How to Deal with Extreme Nervousness

How to Deal with Extreme Nervousness

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How to Deal with Extreme Nervousness


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eharmonyadvice is offline eharmonyadvice — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  May 21,2008, 8:57am

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Going on a date with someone new can be extremely nerve-wracking for some people. So much so that they ruin their chances at a second date. Check out these tips for dealing with extreme dating anxiety.
 
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id1909 is offline id1909 Post #2  May 21,2008, 11:12am
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I thought this article wasnt well written at all from an adults perspective although being an eharmony member is great in that you can take an adult perspective on the subject of dating . It kind of puts dating into perspective for an adult who uses eharmony or eharmony marriage..

Has eharmony ever tried eharmony dating gatherings, singles vacations etc I think that would be a great idea... Try writing at the level of an adult professional or future married couple who joins to date someone equal in intellect and i think everyone would be happier........
 
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blueshoe is offline blueshoe Post #3  May 22,2008, 1:54am
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I recently read on this site from someone who responded to another post and they said this... "You can't say the wrong thing to the right person and you can't say the right thing to the wrong person".

I really like that and thought that was pretty accurate. I also just wanted to say that if there is a glimmer of hope after the first meeting keep at it. Hopefully as adults we all know that the beginning stages of relationships do require fortitude and a bit of persistence to get over the rough spots.
 
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argytunes is offline argytunes Post #4  May 23,2008, 6:30am
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blueshoe...

What new "friendship couples" have to remember is that the other person is probably JUST AS NERVOUS?

Dating should be fun...not an exercise in trying to keep a conversation going. When in doubt, bring a few cds or ask your new friend what type(s) of music he or she likes that might be in your cd library?

This way...when you run into an uncomfortable (non-speaking) moment, you can always haul out a mutually-favorite cd with music the 2 of you enjoy. [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif[/img]

argytunes
 
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WeDesignOurLives is offline WeDesignOurLives Post #5  May 23,2008, 7:01am
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You need to prepare...do your homework.
 
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Edward84 is offline Edward84 Post #6  May 28,2008, 3:53pm
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I deal extrerme nervous by taking a deep breath to build up my self confidence.
 
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FruitaBu is offline FruitaBu Post #7  May 28,2008, 4:29pm
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blueshoes... I really like that comment.



I think it is cute when someone is a little bit nervous. [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-embarassed.gif[/img]
 
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123_red is offline 123_red Post #8  May 31,2008, 7:24pm

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eharmonyadvice, wrote :

Going on a date with someone new can be extremely nerve-wracking for some people. So much so that they ruin their chances at a second date. Check out these tips for dealing with extreme dating anxiety.
I just don't get stressed over going out on a date. Like why let yourself do that. The fun is getting ready for the date. Enjoy a new person. Look at it as one date. Your not going to loose your life, a limb, or be sentenced to hell forever. The date might be that but then end it early. Right? If the date is fun then good.


I think the stress is after the date with the "rules" don't call him or her the next day. Ah phooy. Make up your own rules. Just tell yourself. I am lookng as good as I can. I have a new evening ahead of me and it is an adventure.


Then let it go ... jitters be gone!
 
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ConsciousLoving is offline ConsciousLoving Post #9  June 3,2008, 10:17am
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First meeting can be both exciting and scary. Pick an environment where both you and your date will be most comfortable. Don't meet anyone after 9pm if you haven't met before. Always meet in a public, well lit area and with plenty of people around. Don't reveal personal information about yourself until you are completely comfortable to do so. Do not yield to preasure from yourself or the other person, justy because you are tired of being alone.


Always focus on the good in the other person, it will help you see the "big picture" and see the not so good.


And finally be honest witrh the person, don't agree just because you want someone to like you!
 
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doxiemom is offline doxiemom Post #10  June 3,2008, 2:23pm
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id1909,118400 wrote :

I thought this article wasnt well written at all from an adults perspective although being an eharmony member is great in that you can take an adult perspective on the subject of dating . It kind of puts dating into perspective for an adult who uses eharmony or eharmony marriage..


Has eharmony ever tried eharmony dating gatherings, singles vacations etc I think that would be a great idea... Try writing at the level of an adult professional or future married couple who joins to date someone equal in intellect and i think everyone would be happier........
I thought this article was very clear and helpful. I can see what you mean about the analogy of the child and the dog though.


-- I'm in my mid 30's and have dated a few guys who were extremely nervous. One in particular - his hands were shaking uncontrollably the first 2 dates and both times he stated how much $ he made and his lifetime achievements. Since he was really cute I went out a few more times but after that I just couldn't take anymore. I wish he would read this article!
 
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