MisterArrogant is offline MisterArrogant Post #1  February 14,2010, 10:48am
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So I'm talking with this one girl online and she's been really fun. She's got a great sense of humor and we seem to be really clicking.

However, it's been a week and she really hasn't asked me any personal questions and I find it somewhat disconcerting. Maybe it's because I'm used to girls trying to find out everything about me. Reading through my email. Going through my text messages. Having their friend at the bank go through my bank account. You know... the usual girl stuff.

But this girl has really not asked me hardly anything about myself. Most of our emails have just been joking around. She was the one that initially contacted me, so obviously she is interested in me. We seem to have a great rapport. I've asked her things about herself, but she usually is kind of "jokey" with her replies. Then she doesn't follow up with the usual askbacks: "Well what do YOU like to do?" Etc.

I'm really having a good time with her with just the email and text exchanges. We have a date lined up for Friday and maybe that will be a little more intimate. But the connection between us just seems very superficial so far. (Not in a physical way -- though she is very cute.)

So what do you guys think? Red flag? Should I take this as a sign she's not very serious about this even though she's the one that contacted me? Maybe she's just using humor to protect herself?

Ladies, do you ever have a hard time asking guys questions about themselves? I feel like I'm doing all the work with the "getting to know you" part of the dating here. This is kind of a different situation for me.
 
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yoga_gal is offline yoga_gal Post #2  February 14,2010, 10:53am
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MisterArrogant wrote :
So I'm talking with this one girl online and she's been really fun. She's got a great sense of humor and we seem to be really clicking.

However, it's been a week and she really hasn't asked me any personal questions and I find it somewhat disconcerting. Maybe it's because I'm used to girls trying to find out everything about me. Reading through my email. Going through my text messages. Having their friend at the bank go through my bank account. You know... the usual girl stuff.

But this girl has really not asked me hardly anything about myself. Most of our emails have just been joking around. She was the one that initially contacted me, so obviously she is interested in me. We seem to have a great rapport. I've asked her things about herself, but she usually is kind of "jokey" with her replies. Then she doesn't follow up with the usual askbacks: "Well what do YOU like to do?" Etc.

I'm really having a good time with her with just the email and text exchanges. We have a date lined up for Friday and maybe that will be a little more intimate. But the connection between us just seems very superficial so far. (Not in a physical way -- though she is very cute.)

So what do you guys think? Red flag? Should I take this as a sign she's not very serious about this even though she's the one that contacted me? Maybe she's just using humor to protect herself?

Ladies, do you ever have a hard time asking guys questions about themselves? I feel like I'm doing all the work with the "getting to know you" part of the dating here. This is kind of a different situation for me.
I hardly ever generalize about men and women but my friends and I have noticed that it is usually the other way around. Usually we have found that women tend to ask more questions in the online process and it can be a little frustrating.

But everyone is different and has differing communication styles. Also, some people communicate differently online and IRL. I would go ahead and meet and see how she comes off. I think you will be able to tell more then.
 
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SunshineState is offline SunshineState Post #3  February 14,2010, 11:01am
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I too find that this is the other way around, at least for me. I know I had a match that didn't ask me anything in return, and when I questioned why he wasn't asking me any questions his response was that he was getting to know me in what I would write in my emails. Maybe your match is the same way. I wouldn't worry about it, and just continue what you're doing and see how the first meet goes.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  February 14,2010, 11:03am
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This is good news.

If you haven't asked to meet yet, I suggest doing so immediately.
 
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lucky173 is offline lucky173 Post #5  February 14,2010, 1:05pm
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yoga_gal wrote :
But everyone is different and has differing communication styles. Also, some people communicate differently online and IRL. I would go ahead and meet and see how she comes off. I think you will be able to tell more then.
This above.

I've even noticed that my own communication style varies from match to match. I don't approach things the same way each time, every time. Reason being - the other person involved in the communication is different from one time to the next, it changes the dynamic entirely.

If you're having fun in your communications with her so far, then just see how things go face to face. I wouldn't worry so much about the fact that she hasn't been (might not be at all) the 'questioning' type.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #6  February 14,2010, 1:10pm
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I would just go on the date and not worry about this. People have different interrogation styles.
 
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SierraMountainAir is offline SierraMountainAir Post #7  February 14,2010, 1:27pm
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mrflyer wrote :
I would just go on the date and not worry about this. People have different interrogation styles.
There must be a lot of flies without wings walking around in YOUR house.
 
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beachgirl5 is offline beachgirl5 Post #8  February 14,2010, 1:34pm
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I see it as bad news. This is not someone who knows what she's looking for and not asking the questions to establish whether she likes anything more than your looks.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #9  February 14,2010, 2:21pm
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beachgirl5 wrote :
This is not someone who knows what she's looking for and not asking the questions to establish whether she likes anything more than your looks.

I disagree with this. Only quantitative questions have much meaning, and these are usually covered in the profile (has children, etc.)

I know exactly what I'm looking for, and I know it takes time to uncover real matters - such as what a partner is like, day in and day out.

Getting to know someone starts with the first meeting.

Once I send the fist questions I am already ready and willing to meet; any questions a woman asks, or any answers to any communication from me can not improve on willingness to meet, so can only serve to end it.
 
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trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #10  February 14,2010, 2:42pm

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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MisterArrogant wrote :
So what do you guys think? Red flag? Should I take this as a sign she's not very serious about this even though she's the one that contacted me? Maybe she's just using humor to protect herself?
You say it like it's a bad thing.
 
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