kate5md is offline kate5md Post #1  February 7,2010, 1:08pm
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I have been dating a great guy for about 5 months. He has met my kids, my parents and sisters, and alot of my friends. He is even friends with somne of my best friends on facebook. I have met his son. But I haven't met his friends or even his parents. One of my best friends says he is either keeping his options open or has another life he doesnt want me to know about. Is this a deal breaker yet? I mentioned it about a month ago and he said we just hadn't had a chance yet. What's up with him?
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #2  February 7,2010, 1:11pm
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kate5md wrote :
I have been dating a great guy for about 5 months. He has met my kids, my parents and sisters, and alot of my friends. He is even friends with somne of my best friends on facebook. I have met his son. But I haven't met his friends or even his parents. One of my best friends says he is either keeping his options open or has another life he doesnt want me to know about. Is this a deal breaker yet? I mentioned it about a month ago and he said we just hadn't had a chance yet. What's up with him?
He might not be close to his family is another option. If he works a lot he might not have a lot of opportunity to cultivate friendships (other than colleagues).

Its really hard to know.
 
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jussmile is offline jussmile Post #3  February 7,2010, 1:12pm
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Have a get together, invite him, his friends and your friends... Superbowl would have been the perfect event.

I think it's a red flag if he does not introduce you to his friends. If he sees his family regularly, and does not invite you, that is also a red flag.
 
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kate5md is offline kate5md Post #4  February 7,2010, 1:18pm
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Thanks! I know he sees his parents every Sunday morning for breakfast. He works ALOT! Just the nature of his job. I can tell on facebook that he sees his friends every once in a while. But no I'm never invited.
 
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goosielucy is offline goosielucy Post #5  February 7,2010, 2:29pm
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I don't know if it's just me, but I would be inclined to let the guy have his own time with friends and wouldn't feel the need to be included. Once or twice maybe. As for his parents, he may have some issues with that which he hasn't told you about yet.

Then again, I am a kind of girl that likes it just being him and me and not too many other people overly involved in the relationship (besides children of course).
Last edited by goosielucy; February 7,2010 at 3:48pm.
 
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richey is offline richey Post #6  February 7,2010, 2:33pm
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Kate,

Yeah... it does seem kind of weird given he's met all yours, and he sees his every Sunday. But it isn't something you can do about (ask or push him to let you meet his friends/family).

Besides this one area ~ how does the rest of your relationship go? Perhaps it's better to judge what this is or isn't by everything else rather than just this one thing?

But I do agree ~ this is a bit.... it doesn't "fit" with everything else you've told us.

Richey
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #7  February 7,2010, 2:41pm
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kate5md wrote :
Thanks! I know he sees his parents every Sunday morning for breakfast. He works ALOT! Just the nature of his job. I can tell on facebook that he sees his friends every once in a while. But no I'm never invited.

This detail changes the conclusion somwhat.

Ordinarily, I would say it does not matter - especially at five months. That you know he is social with family, and geographically able to be with them, the most-optimistic answer I can come up with is that he has a family dynamic he does not want to expose you to.

Another possibility is that he is reluctant to introduce a dating partner until he has confidence in something long term.
 
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misswright is offline misswright Post #8  February 7,2010, 3:29pm

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jussmile wrote :
Have a get together, invite him, his friends and your friends... Superbowl would have been the perfect event.

I think it's a red flag if he does not introduce you to his friends. If he sees his family regularly, and does not invite you, that is also a red flag.
yes it would have one to wonder are you the well kept secert! it does rise red flages just take your time on how you handle this ..
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  February 7,2010, 5:48pm
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Note to the old timers, I am turning on my analytical mind

This is raising a red flag to me.

1. He sees his parents every Sunday. This indicates to me that he is on good terms with his parents. Yet he has never invited you to come along. Very strange

2. You have been dating 5 months. This means that you have been together through Thanksgiving and Christmas which are two major "family" holidays. Yet he did not invite you to join his family on either of these holidays. Very strange I have to ask did he spend any part of these holidays with you?

3. A lot of companies have have a Christmas party yet he did not take you. Very strange A lot of individuals have Christmas parties yet he did not take you to any. Very strange

4. New Years Eve is a party time. It may be spent with friends, family or out on the town. So I have to ask did you spend New Years Eve together? If so what did you do? If not, very strange

Personal opinion here, but if I had been dating someone for 3 months (puts us at Thanksgiving) and certainly by 4 months (puts us at Christmas) I would be expecting to be in an exclusive relationship. If I had got to that point I would be interested in "showing off" my girlfriend to my friends and family. But of course at this point I guess I better put in my standard disclaimer that I don't know anything about anything.
 
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