NiceGuysFinishFirst is offline NiceGuysFinishFirst Post #11  January 31,2010, 10:39am

Anything is possible...

Unregistered

Joined: Jul 2009

Planet Earth

Posts: 138

See profile

D_Lion, I suppose after 13,670 posts you consider yourself an authority over who's wrong and who's right, huh?
 
  Reply With Quote
PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #12  January 31,2010, 10:39am

Unregistered

Joined: Oct 2009

Posts: 6,908

See profile

I think your friend can go out of her comfort zone and give one call to him and find out...then if he gives her the runaround again, then she'll know.

Guys are in this predicament all the time...no biggie. All it takes is just one more phone call.

my opinion of course
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #13  January 31,2010, 11:25am
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,677

See profile

NiceGuysFinishFirst wrote :
D_Lion, I suppose after 13,670 posts you consider yourself an authority over who's wrong and who's right, huh?

No, that happened at post number 1.
 
  Reply With Quote
ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #14  January 31,2010, 11:29am
ami1uwant's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Feb 2008

Seattle, WA

Posts: 4,638

See profile

Thanks...I am 40 years old.....


"Red flags" are in the eye of the beholder.

The flags you mentioned.....about your car accident....and your friends date not bowling...can be easily explanable.

The bowling...if you have wider fingers..bowling can be difficult on your hands. He likely bowled earlier and felt his fingers hurting after because of the pressure on his fingers.

On her ignoring your accident...everyone has had accidents you decribed...you werent hurt, your car wasnt totalled and you were fine...not much sympathy you are going to get....while when you told her this she may have had a big interview that she really wanted to share with you.

Are you looking for a woman who will drop everything because you broke a nail?
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #15  January 31,2010, 11:31am
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,677

See profile

AndieIsMe wrote :
If he had said "I don't like bowling" I think that would have been more appropriate than making up the fingers hurting lame-o excuse.

Good to know that all the "even-stupider" excuses from women are "lame-o."
 
  Reply With Quote
AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #16  January 31,2010, 11:34am
AndieIsMe's Avatar

A letter in the mail is more precious than a 1000 IMs

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Nov 2009

Emerald Triangle

Posts: 8,146

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
Good to know that all the "even-stupider" excuses from women are "lame-o."
 
  Reply With Quote
jayhawkgirl is offline jayhawkgirl Post #17  January 31,2010, 11:41am
jayhawkgirl's Avatar

is back to square one

Pacesetter

Joined: Oct 2008

Posts: 405

See profile

NiceGuy, ignore D_Lion; he is an aberration. He cannot understand why his "logic" doesn't apply equally for every single person in every situation. He is an unfeeling automaton. I'm convinced he wouldn't know whether he's feeling content, happy, satisfied or some other state without consulting a flow chart. (I have to admit, however, that I am curious about how he Kisses...) But I digress.

I agree with much of what you wrote in your OP. I would not necessarily dismiss someone outright for one of the little "red flags" that you mentioned, but it would give me reason to explore further to determine if it was an indication of a bigger red flag (a/k/a dealbreaker).

The main point I agree with is that it's better to be alone than be with the wrong person, just for the sake of not being alone. I have never been lonelier than when I was married to the wrong person. Keep searching for the right one!
 
  Reply With Quote
hope2306 is offline hope2306 Post #18  January 31,2010, 12:34pm
hope2306's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2009

Posts: 4

See profile

If I asked a guy to go bowling and he told me his fingers hurt and said nothing else, I'd just assume he is not that into me and move on. I just think if a guy is interested, he would not miss the opportunity to spend time with me. So if bowling really did hurt his fingers but he was really interested in me, he would say something like, "Well I'm not really into bowling, but maybe we can grab a bite to eat and catch a movie sometime? Can I call you?" or something that shows interest. Guys, is this right?
 
  Reply With Quote
kayla4brains is offline kayla4brains Post #19  January 31,2010, 4:02pm
kayla4brains's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Apr 2009

Plymouth, CT

Posts: 38

See profile

I agree that you should pay attention to your instinct about things. Of course we have our own personal experiences, but I once ignored red flags from a partner when I was aware he was lying because of the nature of things he was lying about. The items seemed meaningless. Now that our relationship is over, he is leading a totally different lifestyle. It seems as though he lied about his entire personhood while we were together. You don't realize that you are making excuses for the other person while you are with them, but niceguys is right, things tend to snowball. But if you catch it early on, you will save yourself heartache later.
HOWEVER! Reading into things too much can also ruin chances of what might be a great relationship. I am trying to learn the art of that myself (or, rather, the art of not doing that) I was given the advice to use the initial red flags as a trigger or memory if you will, and if the person becomes a repeat offender then you know your instincts were right. If not...then maybe they just spoke in an inappropriate way.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 2 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Saturday Night roll call | Dating | Just Friends or Dating? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Red flags or issues? Your thougths please ngawildflower "Red Flag" Central 15 November 12,2010 9:51am
Red Flags angeniece Love in Color 3 December 13,2009 7:45am
I'm seeing red flags; he thinks I overreacted. NeedAnswers Relationships 34 October 23,2009 11:43am
Enough "Red Flags" - How about "GREEN FLAGS" ??? Seneca Dating 22 August 28,2009 1:18pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Come on, just because the guy is old and hasn't dated doesn't make him a toad. Lots of people have divorced and not dated in years due to job, kids, or whatever. You said he seemed nice. Maybe he is ... ” –  Altair

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“No, you have missed the point entirely. (Which is again evidence that raising children is far easier than most things.) Only a tiny fraction of motivated, able people succeed in reaching space. ... ” –  scubaroo

Join the “who pays?” discussion

“You need to try harder ... cus harder is always mo bettah!” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Friday Night Roll Call !!! Sweaty Summer Fun edition!” discussion

“I went hunting the other day and I bagged a deer.” –  myusernamehere

Join the “Good News” discussion

“Well, I'd start by trying to learn the reason. If he doesn't like "desk jobs," or respect corporations for perceived ethics, then maybe an entreprenurial venture is more his style? If he simply ... ” –  D_Lion

Join the “How to motivate a person?” discussion

“How to be happy with him? Chicks dig firefighters ...” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Ways to motivate him?” discussion

“Hi Suzanne, please see comments below in red. Overall, you seem to be a deep, sensitive and spiritual person. You have interesting hobbies and occupations. Remember there are hundreds and thousands ... ” –  SearchingHoping

Join the “Seeking review of my profile: 52 yr old woman, Pittsburgh area” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 9:12pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0