MsGilbert is offline MsGilbert Post #1  January 30,2010, 4:44pm
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How does one date when they have an STD?
 
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rcpilotva is offline rcpilotva Post #2  January 30,2010, 5:12pm

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very good question.
In our culture (US), promiscuity by us or our partners has left this legacy. Everybody wants to be 'clean' - and there's a term right there - and wants a 'clean' partner.
Many do not know they are a carrier of an STD.
Is it possible to look at an STD as , say, an accident scar or something like that?
When to broach the subject with a person you're interested in is really the question.
I really don't know the correct answer, if there is one. But we must be truthful if we're to truly care for the person. We cannot predict their response, but must acknowlege whatever their reaction will be as valid - fear, acceptance, "I have it, too", etc.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #3  January 30,2010, 5:17pm
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not sure without knowing what the STD is

Not all dates involve sex
 
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MsGilbert is offline MsGilbert Post #4  January 30,2010, 5:20pm
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You make it sound so easy, which is should be. I will just put my trust in God and let him guide me through this journey. I am sorry you have this disease, but am glad we can relate. Thank you for the information, I appreciate it! Does e-harmony have a special dating site for individuals who have this disease?
 
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MsGilbert is offline MsGilbert Post #5  January 30,2010, 5:23pm
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ami1uwant wrote :
not sure without knowing what the STD is Herpes

Not all dates involve sex
Exactly. Sexual initmacy should happen after a period of dating.
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #6  January 30,2010, 5:29pm

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We've had several threads lately about dating when one has a chronic medical condition or disability, and at what point to tell..in the profile or after things look like they are going to progress into a relationship.

With an STD, you should tell your date prior to having sex, of course-but I'm thinking it might need to be when you sense that you might be thinking of having sex..like not right at the last minuet. Theres an obligation when one has a disease that can be transmitted, after all. When I had a cold I told my date that I wanted to kiss him but didn't want him to get the cold..that was appreciated!

Any more, people who are considering having a sexual relationship get STD testing done..I do if I've been in a relationship where we had both been tested clean, then we broke up and I was considering another sexual relationship. Even though sensible people use condoms they sometimes break or fail to work 100% of the time.

I have both a chronic (though not contagious) disease and a minor disability. I don't put either of these in my profile and after about 10 dates with one man now am considering sharing this part of my life with him. It takes tact and finesse to say what needs to be said.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #7  January 30,2010, 5:46pm
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MsGilbert wrote :
Sexual initmacy should happen after a period of dating.

Employers "should" provide security of benefits, politicians "should" serve the taxpayers, and people on welfare "should" get a job.

Since none of these are happening, and I am paying through the nose for all of them, I think I'll seek some "sexual intimacy" where I can find it, thanks.

***

As regards your question, my view is any perceived liability should be disclosed at the point it becomes relevant to a specific activity with a specific partner.

Since dating involves sex, the STD may be presumed to be relevant to most possible partners.

I think it is in a person's interest to disclose this before developing any feelings for their partner - why let oneself get involved only to be dumped?
 
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FruitaBu is offline FruitaBu Post #8  January 30,2010, 6:29pm
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D_Lion wrote :
As regards your question, my view is any perceived liability should be disclosed at the point it becomes relevant to a specific activity with a specific partner.
I agree with this.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  January 30,2010, 6:38pm
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D_Lion wrote :
...
As regards your question, my view is any perceived liability should be disclosed at the point it becomes relevant to a specific activity with a specific partner.

Since dating involves sex, the STD may be presumed to be relevant to most possible partners.

I think it is in a person's interest to disclose this before developing any feelings for their partner - why let oneself get involved only to be dumped?
This I agree with.

Dating does NOT involve sex. It may lead to sex but dating itself does not involve sex.

If the STD can be "fixed" then it may well be a non-issue.
 
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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #10  January 30,2010, 6:51pm
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MsGilbert wrote :
You make it sound so easy, which is should be. I will just put my trust in God and let him guide me through this journey. I am sorry you have this disease, but am glad we can relate. Thank you for the information, I appreciate it! Does e-harmony have a special dating site for individuals who have this disease?
Are you receiving medical treatment for your condition? Please discuss medication options with your primary care doctor. If you have no primary care doctor, do a web search for health departments in your city. If you havn't received your meningitis vaccination, you might want to look into it; as the HSV makes one more susceptible to meningitis.
The center for disease control is a good source of knowledge for the disease. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

There is a dating website called positivesingles.com
the site has others with various sexually transmitted infections who would like to date.
 
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