Can Flaky People Make Good Partners?

Can Flaky People Make Good Partners?

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Can Flaky People Make Good Partners?


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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #1  January 29,2010, 10:55am
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Good article! I think we've all experienced the charisma of the person who's great but who we can't really count on. It's so frustrating. These are powerful words -- and I try to live by them:

"Say what you mean, and do what you say you are going to do. Always."
 
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FruitaBu is offline FruitaBu Post #2  January 29,2010, 11:01am
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Having this type of person as a partner is really exhausting and tends to put the responsible person in the "caretaker" type of role. I have no desire to be a mom. I will take less charming and more reliable, thanks.
 
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mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #3  January 29,2010, 11:31am
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One thing the article doesn't address is that some people may act this way because of a mental disorder or personality issue that may be treatable with various methods.

In the case of the work not being delivered to the client, the woman should have done that herself rather than trust it to someone else.

At what point is someone considered flaky? We all sometimes forget things, don't return a call, or show up late. I'm concerned about someone being put in this category too soon just because of a couple incidents.... pretty soon you could rule out just about everyone.
Last edited by mrflyer; January 29,2010 at 11:34am.
 
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SactoDoug is offline SactoDoug Post #4  January 29,2010, 11:47am
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Flakiness is a huge red flag for me. If I can't count on someone, then what is the point of having a long term relationship with them? When you need them most, they won't be there. If you give them an opportunity to fail, they will.

I have turned away beautiful, smart, and very fun women because they were flakes. I'll take Plain Jane who is reliable over a Flaky Barbie every day of the week.
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #5  January 29,2010, 12:02pm

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I find it hard to believe all the flake bashers have never forgot to do something they told someone they would do.

Meh, your loss. Occasionally I do forget something but I am still the one everyone relies on when they need something done. Go figure.

I thought the article was vague and stupid. Another masterpiece to keep people on eHa.
 
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legend29 is offline legend29 Post #6  January 29,2010, 12:05pm
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mrflyer wrote :
One thing the article doesn't address is that some people may act this way because of a mental disorder or personality issue that may be treatable with various methods.

In the case of the work not being delivered to the client, the woman should have done that herself rather than trust it to someone else.

At what point is someone considered flaky? We all sometimes forget things, don't return a call, or show up late. I'm concerned about someone being put in this category too soon just because of a couple incidents.... pretty soon you could rule out just about everyone.
So true...

I am extremely absent-minded and people tend to think I am a 'flake' because of my memory lapses.

...and sometimes I am just too busy to call back in a timely manner or I lose phone #'s.

This article had me hyperventillating, mumbling to myself " I am NOT a flake...I am NOT a flake....!"
 
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SactoDoug is offline SactoDoug Post #7  January 29,2010, 12:11pm
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Can_I_just_be_Jo wrote :
I find it hard to believe all the flake bashers have never forgot to do something they told someone they would do.

Meh, your loss. Occasionally I do forget something but I am still the one everyone relies on when they need something done. Go figure.

I thought the article was vague and stupid. Another masterpiece to keep people on eHa.
The article was specific. It was addressing people who regularly forget things, call in sick to work, show up late or don't show up at all. It even gives the example of a boyfriend that did not mail a FedEx package and the poor girlfriend finding it 3 days later in boyfriend's car. That would have ended any of my previous relationships if someone's flakiness hurt my job performance.

As you said, you are usually reliable so this article does not address you so I don't understand why you are drawing offence to it.
 
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MValleyEast is offline MValleyEast Post #8  January 29,2010, 12:14pm
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A creative partner is all well and good, but if he cannot keep his promises and keeps flaking out on his obligations, I want no part of it. We live in Reality, and my partner has to live there too. If I cannot count on him to do as he says, what foundation is there to build on?
 
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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #9  January 29,2010, 12:19pm
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SactoDoug wrote :
That would have ended any of my previous relationships if someone's flakiness hurt my job performance.
It's not a good idea to rely on someone else to perform your job for you, flake or not.

Just saying "in general", not implying you specifically do that.
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #10  January 29,2010, 12:23pm

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SactoDoug wrote :
The article was specific. It was addressing people who regularly forget things, call in sick to work, show up late or don't show up at all. It even gives the example of a boyfriend that did not mail a FedEx package and the poor girlfriend finding it 3 days later in boyfriend's car. That would have ended any of my previous relationships if someone's flakiness hurt my job performance.

As you said, you are usually reliable so this article does not address you so I don't understand why you are drawing offence to it.
Even a person I consider completely reliable I will call and make sure they did what they said they did. After all it is my arse on the line if they don't do it. I can just see me telling my boss, yeah but it is not my fault my boyfriend forgot to mail it. No it would be my fault for not checking.

I am very ADD and would forget my head if it wasn't for stucture and adderall. Yet I don't cut myself slack for other peoples errors even if they said they would do it. In the end it is my responsibility since it is my job.

Calling in sick to work is not a flake issue it is a lazy person issue.

Perhaps I take offence because it labels people like me who are loving humans just like everyone else. So I would like to think if I threw out my T1 and dayrunner I would still deserve love. As it is I generally pull the weight for all you "normal" people.
 
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