Can Flaky People Make Good Partners?

Can Flaky People Make Good Partners?

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Can Flaky People Make Good Partners?


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SactoDoug is offline SactoDoug Post #11  January 29,2010, 12:27pm
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is wondering why he can't get no satisfaction.

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insertscreenname wrote :
It's not a good idea to rely on someone else to perform your job for you, flake or not.

Just saying "in general", not implying you specifically do that.
While that may be a good general policy, it hardly applies here:

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She adds, “Not long ago, Alex offered to drop off a work package at Fed Ex to save me the trip. It was an important set of mock-ups for one of my graphic design clients. Three days later, when he picked me up for a movie, I spotted the package on the back seat of his car! I was livid.”
If a girlfriend of mine offers to drop off a work package for me and she doesn't, then she is fired as a girlfriend.
 
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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #12  January 29,2010, 12:42pm
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SactoDoug wrote :
While that may be a good general policy, it hardly applies here:

Example snipped.

If a girlfriend of mine offers to drop off a work package for me and she doesn't, then she is fired as a girlfriend.
I fail to see how it doesn't apply. In the example, she relied on someone else to do her job. Irrelevant that it was offered. She f'ed up; they were her clients. She can blame her flaky boyfriend all she wants.

Don't mix work and love is my point I guess.
 
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SactoDoug is offline SactoDoug Post #13  January 29,2010, 12:51pm
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insertscreenname wrote :
I fail to see how it doesn't apply. In the example, she relied on someone else to do her job. Irrelevant that it was offered. She f'ed up; they were her clients. She can blame her flaky boyfriend all she wants.

Don't mix work and love is my point I guess.
Since this is an article about the relationship and not about professional work ethics then it does matter that he offered. While in a professional sense she is ultimately responsible, in a relationship sense, which is what is being discussed here, he was responsible. Sorry but "don't mix work and love" is a lame excuse for his flakiness.

Sure, she paid the price professionally but he should pay the price in the relationship. He should be fired as a boyfriend. That is all.
 
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BubblyGirliGirl is offline BubblyGirliGirl Post #14  January 29,2010, 12:54pm
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Being a flake 100 % of the time is one thing....as Nana says - there is a shoe for every foot and I truly believe even a flake stands a chance of being ina very healthy relationship, providing the other person isn't a flake.
I think having a 1/2 time flake is most frustrating because you never know when the person will 'flake' out. ....know what I mean?
 
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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #15  January 29,2010, 2:14pm
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SactoDoug wrote :
While in a professional sense she is ultimately responsible, in a relationship sense, which is what is being discussed here, he was responsible. Sorry but "don't mix work and love" is a lame excuse for his flakiness.

Sure, she paid the price professionally but he should pay the price in the relationship. He should be fired as a boyfriend. That is all.
Please point out where I said "don't mix work and love" as a lame excuse for his flakiness. I did no such thing.

On the relationship side, she bears just as much responsibility in this specific example as he does. I'm not talking about the greater context of their overall relationship, although this event no doubt affected the greater whole. However, she already knew he was flaky. She should have turned down his offer. Especially considering it was her professional reputation at stake. Therefore: Relationship fail; professional fail. In this specific example.

In the context of the whole relationship, I can certainly see how she'd be justified in ending it. Too much flaky behaviour.

However, this package delivery flake-out, in and of itself, would not be grounds, imho. For the reasons I explained above. I think that any time someone would put their significant other in such a position, that where if they failed at one specific task related to their partner's work they would be "fired" from the relationship, to be a rather lame excuse for a break-up. Stinks of looking for excuses to me.
 
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SactoDoug is offline SactoDoug Post #16  January 29,2010, 2:40pm
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insertscreenname wrote :
Please point out where I said "don't mix work and love" as a lame excuse for his flakiness. I did no such thing.

On the relationship side, she bears just as much responsibility in this specific example as he does. I'm not talking about the greater context of their overall relationship, although this event no doubt affected the greater whole. However, she already knew he was flaky. She should have turned down his offer. Especially considering it was her professional reputation at stake. Therefore: Relationship fail; professional fail. In this specific example.

In the context of the whole relationship, I can certainly see how she'd be justified in ending it. Too much flaky behaviour.

However, this package delivery flake-out, in and of itself, would not be grounds, imho. For the reasons I explained above. I think that any time someone would put their significant other in such a position, that where if they failed at one specific task related to their partner's work they would be "fired" from the relationship, to be a rather lame excuse for a break-up. Stinks of looking for excuses to me.

I have heard of blaming the victim before but that takes the cake. So it is her fault for accepting his offer because she should have known better than to trust him?

There is no indication about where in the relationship this event took place. You assume that she already knew he was a flake when he offered. Even if she did, where is his responsibility? He knew it was work related and he has lived in his skin his whole life. He should not have offered. People who have trouble with temptation should avoid that temptation. In this case Mr. Frosted Flakes should avoid all responsibility because he is not worthy of any responsibility. Like the old saying goes, "don't make promises you can't keep."
 
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insertscreenname is offline insertscreenname Post #17  January 29,2010, 2:56pm
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SactoDoug wrote :
I have heard of blaming the victim before but that takes the cake.
Sanctimonious BS.
 
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HappyandLight is offline HappyandLight Post #18  January 29,2010, 3:07pm
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Flackiness is such a disappointment.

And it lowers my respect for someone.

SO, if my significant other showed a lot of flakiness...I dont' think it would matter how charasmatic he would be, I would lose respect, faith and trust in him and that would be the end. It is so so important that a man comes thru for me it overrides.

I've dumped a potential friend over flakiness. I invited her to a wonderful, very special block party. She said "yes", then "no", then "yes" and at the last minute said "no". I was so angry! I let her know I thought it was rude and inconsiderate.

So, no it would not fly for me.
 
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HappyandLight is offline HappyandLight Post #19  January 29,2010, 3:10pm
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I have a gf in a new marriage with a man who could easily be described as flaky. He doesn't work but can't unpack themselves into their new home. She has a baby on the way but he won't get things done. He has no organizational skills and no follow thru skills.

It pains her greatly. She is so frustrated and disappointed.

I am sure what keeps her there is that he has some wealth, he is nice and loving and there is a baby on the way but still, so much pain!
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #20  January 29,2010, 3:13pm
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yes i can
 
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